Love in Bloom

[Judith]

You know, I think the primary criterion for social bonding is ruled by mass media. Relationships tend to occur within the same aesthetically defined class...with beauty accruing to beauty and homeliness to homeliness--well, except for the occasional acctress who mates with her business manager, of course.

I don't know about that. Someone at work has been leaving those gossip magazines in the bathroom, and, being someone who likes to read in the bathroom and will read the back of a cereal box if nothing else presents itself, I've been looking at material I wouldn't otherwise be caught dead touching with a pair of diaper tongs. Seems to me that these days Hollywood is filled with a lot of extremely beautiful women and a lot of homely guys. The men are all kind of chubby and scruffy-looking with non-descript features, whereas the women are all extremely slender and sleek and beautifully groomed with fantastic features. And I assume that these people pair up with each other, and that this, being mass media, determines aesthetics for the rest of the world's tastes....

Judith

[JennaW]

Haha, I like that song! Been listening to it since it was on the soundtrack for Dirty Dancing (when I was about 10 years old, on VHS).

Not sure about the good-looking attracts good-looking... I've dated mostly in-shape, active guys although I haven't always been the same. I think, physically, all the features that I loved on a guy was finally all in one person. And I wasn't the one who hit on him, either. He was the first to make the move! & when I saw his picture, I was like, "Wow, he's gorgeous!" Thank goodness he liked me out of all those other women

Jenna, how about this little tune for a 'love theme'--something we can direct towards our significant other?

BE MY BABY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgCZA3NrpkE...ted&search= ( :heart: )

[Victor Pross]

:heart: Love has fully bloomed! :heart:

It’s been well over five months since Angie and I created LOVE IN BLOOM as both an expression and declaration of our love for each other. We have experienced so much in discovering the other person, but we have also missed important occasions as well—occasions such our birthdays, Christmas…and now Valentine’s Day. This will be our first Valentine’s Day together…but apart. I would like to say a few things, as a summary, of those five months: we have grown so much closer…while so far apart.

Both Angie and I agree that an ideal relationship consists of two individualists. That is, two separate sovereign people who have developed the ideal of intellectual independence, who have accomplished a healthy level of self-esteem and who are confident in their person and who are prepared to celebrate these accomplishments in the person of another human being, a person who reflects their own achievements back at them.

Angie and I, first and foremost, are individualists (much to our great pleasure to discover in the other). Individualism, to my understanding, encourages personal autonomy. I can see this projected Angie and she can see it in me. Our autonomy does not pose a "threat" to the other. Our autonomy is a welcomed trait. We would not douse our relationship with jealousy or prohibitions on the other’s actions (although jealousy is an emotion that we both have experienced where the other is concerned, but it is not overwhelming as to impede our relationship). We do not “police” each other as if one partner where a prisoner and the other the guard (with the roles reversing according to circumstances.) Of course, this type of behavior stems from a lack of emotional security. This lack of over all trust can tarnish the vitality of a romantic relationship. Common sense dictates this, and yet so very few people explicitly understand it. Angie and I understand this. In fact, it has been our personal longing and ideal --long before we came across each other—and now we have it in each other.

Some mistakenly believe that “individualism” discourages the development of relationships, but Angie and I realize that it is its lifeblood! Some people believe that relationships must consist of something 'other' than sovereign individuals pursuing their own self-interests, but how could a valuable relationship be based on anything else? Before you can say “I love you,” paraphrasing The Fountainhead, “You must be able to first say ‘I’”. Far from daunting a relationship, the principles of individual autonomy encourage the development and flourishing of genuine personal relationships.

Unfortunately, most people also conceive of relationships as "social" rather than personal. This, of course, is contrary to Angie's and my ideal. We value the relationship for the selfish enjoyment of the other’s person--not because it is a duty to our family or a tribe or whatever. While others believe that the purpose of a relationship is to serve a “social function”---whether it is for social status or the fulfillment of social expectations or family obligations or financial gain or “just because”—Angie and I realize that OUR relationship will serve no other purpose other than what the other puts in it and what is derived from it. You heard it before: It's a give and take deal. Yes, Angie and I may encounter all the usual stumbling blocks that characterize most other relationships, but we will have the intellectual equipment to defuse the problem because the both of us realize that the relationship is an immense value to US.

Angie, honey, let me say it again and again—especially on this day (it is officially February 14th now): I love you with all my heart---much more now than from September 18. I love you more as time goes on. You are so precious to me.

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours." - Ayn Rand

Edited February 14, 2007 by Victor Pross

[Kat]

Eu te amo, Michael querido.

I love you, Michael. You are a dream come true. Happy Valentines Day.

Love,

Kitten

[Chris Grieb]

Victor & Angie; Happy Valentine's Day. Thank you for reminding why we celebrate this day. Chris ps Victor; My picture is getting out. Thanks again.

[CNA]

Happy Valentine's, Victor

You are my everything, Baby. I finally found heaven and that's you !! I love you with all my heart. 'Cause I love you....

I Love You, Victor !! You Are My Valentine

Edited February 14, 2007 by CNA

[Victor Pross]

Happy Valentine's, Victor

You are my everything, Baby. I finally found heaven and that's you !! I love you with all my heart. 'Cause I love you....

I Love You, Victor !! You Are My Valentine

I am without a doubt the luckiest man in the world. I'm all yours, honey--always.

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Eu te amo, Michael querido.

I love you, Michael. You are a dream come true. Happy Valentines Day.

Love,

Kitten

Kitten

It is always a special pleasure to visit the fullness of my heart since you have gone into it. Knowing that I am no longer alone on that level has made the entire journey worth it. You are my Valentine, my joy in living, my sweet fever.

I love you.

Michael

[Victor Pross]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ctQ44ijZ9I...ted&search=

A song from the motion picture "Walk the line"--the love of Johnny Cash and June Carter. :heart:

[Chris Grieb]

Last night Ghost was on. Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers. To die for. One of the sub-texts in the movie is to get Sam to say "I love you" to the Demi Moore character. She tells him he always says "ditto". I must tell everyone I watched the last five minutes crying my eyes out.

[BAMF]

Him saying "ditto" is more romantic to me than for him to say "I love you, too" or something. (I always hated the "I love you, too." Just say, "I love you!")

[Danneskjold]

I can see why it would be somewhat unfulfilling to someone who didn't think about the implications though.

[Victor Pross]

Last night Ghost was on. Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers. To die for. One of the sub-texts in the movie is to get Sam to say "I love you" to the Demi Moore character. She tells him he always says "ditto". I must tell everyone I watched the last five minutes crying my eyes out.

Chris, Ghost was one of my guilty pleasures, too. At the end, in the form of a ghost, Sam FINALLY tells his earthly girlfriend that he loves her--saying the words 'I love you.' And she, in a spin of roles, says 'ditto.' This can get you everytime. Very sad and romantic movie.

[BAMF]

Aw, shoot, that is really touching. I forgot what that movie was about because last time I saw it I was...9 maybe?

P.S. It's nice to see that some guys aren't afraid to show their love. *cheers*

Edited February 16, 2007 by Kori

[Victor Pross]

Aw, shoot, that is really touching. I forgot what that movie was about because last time I saw it I was...9 maybe?

P.S. It's nice to see that some guys aren't afraid to show their love. *cheers*

Hey, this guy isn't afraid to show his love (just ask Angie). Hell, I'm an artist, I have too much to express. If I don't---I'll explode! :shocked:

Edited February 16, 2007 by Victor Pross

[CNA]

Aw, shoot, that is really touching. I forgot what that movie was about because last time I saw it I was...9 maybe?

P.S. It's nice to see that some guys aren't afraid to show their love. *cheers*

Hey, this guy isn't afraid to show his love (just ask Angie). Hell, I'm an artist, I have too much to express. If I don't---I'll explode! :shocked:

Oh, my god, most definitely. Hardcore romantic and definitely not afraid to show it. I absolutely love it. So much nicer than the closed down, I'm too macho bullshit from so many other men out there. Terrified to appear so called "weak" in front of others which by the way this idea is bullshit. Victor is more of a man than any man I've personally known. It's absolutely wonderful and scrumptious.

[Judith]

So much nicer than the closed down, I'm too macho bullshit from so many other men out there.

What's so funny is that those macho men are absolute open books. They think that they're hiding themselves that way, but if you think about it, they're not hard to read at all. Most of us are open books, and we have the privacy we do because most people couldn't be bothered to take the time to look at us hard enough to see us.

Might just as well enjoy themselves, the way Victor does, and let their ladies enjoy themselves, the way Angie does!

Judith

[Victor Pross]

So much nicer than the closed down, I'm too macho bullshit from so many other men out there.

What's so funny is that those macho men are absolute open books. They think that they're hiding themselves that way, but if you think about it, they're not hard to read at all. Most of us are open books, and we have the privacy we do because most people couldn't be bothered to take the time to look at us hard enough to see us.

Might just as well enjoy themselves, the way Victor does, and let their ladies enjoy themselves, the way Angie does!

Judith

Judith,

Romance adds to the quality of life, and even the macho pinheads know this—except for the rare specimen whose heart is so black that he can’t be touched by anything. They are free, of course, to go to the hell of their own making.

Fact: I value romance and by NOT telling Angie this important thing about me—by not showing it—I am depriving her and myself of something very valuable. Not good. Why would I want to do that? For some macho code? Bullshit. Of course, this might make too much sense for some men to handle. :turned:

-Victor

Edited February 18, 2007 by Victor Pross

[Judith]

Romance adds to the quality of life, and even the macho pinheads know this—except for the rare specimen whose heart is so blacked that he can’t be touched by anything. They are free, of course, to go to the hell of their own making.

Fact: I value romance and by NOT telling Angie this important thing about me—by not showing it—I am depriving her and myself of something very valuable. Not good. Why would I want to do that? For some macho code? Bullshit. Of course, this might make too much sense for some men to handle. :turned:

Another thing those macho guys haven't figured out is that their macho act is both a sign of weakness and a way of making themselves weak. All that resistance takes strength and effort that could be better spent living and feeling and taking in life.

Judith

[Victor Pross]

Romance adds to the quality of life, and even the macho pinheads know this—except for the rare specimen whose heart is so blacked that he can’t be touched by anything. They are free, of course, to go to the hell of their own making.

Fact: I value romance and by NOT telling Angie this important thing about me—by not showing it—I am depriving her and myself of something very valuable. Not good. Why would I want to do that? For some macho code? Bullshit. Of course, this might make too much sense for some men to handle. :turned:

Another thing those macho guys haven't figured out is that their macho act is both a sign of weakness and a way of making themselves weak. All that resistance takes strength and effort that could be better spent living and feeling and taking in life.

Judith

Judith,

Macho men, who strut and crow, use roosters as role models -- and they wonder why there are so few of them in relation to hens.

-Victor

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Victor,

It is time for me to make a comment on your writing style. As you know, the comment below is not hostile, but is intended to help you improve your writing. I'm doing it in public because other people who have this problem might want to reevaluate their own rhetoric.

There is something you need to work on a great deal and it impairs the message of your writing considerably. I have taken your declaration of love to Angie to illustrate. (Yes, I know that this is probably not the best place for this, but this particular piece of writing will certainly get your focused attention.)

:heart: Love has fully bloomed! :heart:

. . .

This lack of over all trust can tarnish the vitality of a romantic relationship. Common sense dictates this, and yet so very few people explicitly understand it.

Some mistakenly believe that “individualism” discourages the development of relationships...

Some people believe that relationships must consist of something 'other' than sovereign individuals pursuing their own self-interests...

. . .

Unfortunately, most people also conceive of relationships as "social" rather than personal.

. . .

While others believe that the purpose of a relationship is to serve a “social function”---whether it is for social status or the fulfillment of social expectations or family obligations or financial gain or “just because”...

In a single declaration to the woman you love, you decided to trash a bunch of unnamed others and compare yourself and her against them—not once, but five times.

Do you really want to compare Angie to "so very few people," "some people," "most people," "others"? I personally do not compare Kat against anyone on a love level. She is unique to my experience. I am sure you feel this way about Angie, also.

So shouldn't your writing convey that sense of uniqueness, especially when you declare love to her?

Trashing unnamed others (especially the "most people" kind of others) is a horrible habit and it is a rhetorical device I would completely exclude for a while if I were you, just to see how deeply it is ingrained in your writing style. You need to focus on articulating the idea itself and making it convincing in positive terms—and you have the ability to do that.

I know Rand trashes unnamed others at times, but in your case, I would reread those passages where she does it and try to compare them against where you do. You will start to see much more selectivity and focus in her writing than in yours. But even then, this is one of her habits that grates on my nerves sometimes when I read her nonfiction. Trashing unnamed others is not specific enough to convey any real information and Rand's writing is normally much, much better.

If you want to turn your reader off fast, think about spitting in his face when you write, because when you trash "most people," he will most likely think you are including him in that generalization.

Michael

[BAMF]

Nicely said, Michael. I've noticed this as well (in Rand's non-fiction also, yuck!) and it drives me crazy trying to eliminate it from my own writing.

[Victor Pross]

Michael,

Whatever our disagreements on the topic of art, I find your advise in writing techniques very valuable. In fact, I have printed out the first chapter of The Hungry Artist, the one marginalized with your inserts, and have done considerable thinking on the points you make. I have much to learn in the art of writing, and again I thank you for your help. (Hey, maybe I could give you a few drawing lessons in trade:)

I suppose I really am a proponent for structure, skill, discipline, craft, technique—hell, you name it! Is it any wonder why I speak against the things you see in “Modern art”?

-Victor

Edited February 18, 2007 by Victor Pross

[Victor Pross]

Angie baby:

When I think about, honey, what I really should have said can be found in my musing called “until you”.

***

Until you…I never expected to feel so happy about a relationship. I never believed I’d experience-

-a communication so natural.

-a support so constant

-a trust so complete

I never imagined that by giving of myself, I would be given so much more in return. I never thought I could say “I love you” and mean it so deeply as when I say it to you.

Edited February 18, 2007 by Victor Pross

[Judith]

God, you two make me smile.

Hurry up and get together already! The rest of us are dying to see the fireworks light up the entire North American Continent!

Judith