caroljane Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Somewhere last nighton the misty iceunder the guide of Zambonidid I see the ghost of Bossyslam the winner in the net?FINAL: Islanders 2 Losers 1 - http://sports.yahoo....19#nhl/27628619Beautiful pome. Last night was Blue Saturday for the OL bleacher screechers, for sure. Oh, Detroit did manage to squeak out a win-- but the quality teams were robbed.The Wilder are going off on a long road trip now. I got a poignant glimpse of the team being loaded into the ambulance , and two autographs from the players whose hands are not broken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaalChatzaf Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Somewhere last nighton the misty iceunder the guide of Zambonidid I see the ghost of Bossyslam the winner in the net?FINAL: Islanders 2 Losers 1 - http://sports.yahoo....19#nhl/27628619That isn't Haiku. Could it be Hockeyku?Ba'al Chatzaf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonathan Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Beautiful pome. Last night was Blue Saturday for the OL bleacher screechers, for sure. Oh, Detroit did manage to squeak out a win-- but the quality teams were robbed.The Wilder are going off on a long road trip now. I got a poignant glimpse of the team being loaded into the ambulance , and two autographs from the players whose hands are not broken.With their depleted lineup, the Wilders stank on ice. By shootout time, I was out of Little House/Shruggeds and had to resort to throwing Xeroxes of Rand's Playboy interview duct taped to special edition gift boxes of the second season of Highway to Heaven that I brought as emergency backup.J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Beautiful pome. Last night was Blue Saturday for the OL bleacher screechers, for sure. Oh, Detroit did manage to squeak out a win-- but the quality teams were robbed.The Wilder are going off on a long road trip now. I got a poignant glimpse of the team being loaded into the ambulance , and two autographs from the players whose hands are not broken.With their depleted lineup, the Wilders stank on ice. By shootout time, I was out of Little House/Shruggeds and had to resort to throwing Xeroxes of Rand's Playboy interview duct taped to special edition gift boxes of the second season of Highway to Heaven that I brought as emergency backup.JLook on the bright side. At least you got to see an Aeros game without having to go all the way to Houston.Here you have to take out a second mortgage just to get a ticket to the Marlies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Here in Leafs Nation, it's a requirement under the Mental Health Act that all citizens have a second favourite team, officially titled A Team that Conceivably Might Have a Hope in Hell of ever Winning the Cup.Polygamously, I never abandoned my first love (Montreal Nonpareil, Habs of my heart) when I was naturalized, But I would hope against them with all , well most of my heart, and for the Leafs, because they've had theirs, and had it and had it, gloriously deserved as it was.We just need ours.My second fave is of course Winnipeg, since its triumphant return fast becoming Canada's Team.They saved me from total despondency last night by beating San Jose. Byfuglien even stayed out of trouble and got two assists. Love that Jaws thing that the Sharks players skate out of, though.Who's your go-to team when there's no joy in Iceville? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Polygamously, I never abandoned my first love (Montreal Nonpareil, Habs of my heart) when I was naturalized, But I would hope against them with all , well most of my heart, and for the Leafs, because they've had theirs, and had it and had it, gloriously deserved as it was.What about when you were polygamously unnaturalized?Remember we have the tape!The Under the Skirt Blanket Underground Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Polygamously, I never abandoned my first love (Montreal Nonpareil, Habs of my heart) when I was naturalized, But I would hope against them with all , well most of my heart, and for the Leafs, because they've had theirs, and had it and had it, gloriously deserved as it was.What about when you were polygamously unnaturalized?Remember we have the tape!The Under the Skirt Blanket UndergroundAdam, you don't want to start in about unnatural...all-American sheep, various marine creatures, well-known NHL comentator Billy Boy Gruff... ring any bells?PS I am blissing out on Messiah just now. Apparently someone makes "the kinkoid straight and the rough places plain"...just a suggestion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Just ding, dong the _itch is dead, comes to mind... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
9thdoctor Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Awww indeed. So trusting. But just wait until that little birdie grows up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Awww indeed. So trusting. But just wait until that little birdie grows up!That looks like a loon! A beloved symbol of Canada, depicted on our better-than-yours dollar....I have called you pervos before but I did not know the half of it.Sacrilege, interspecies sexy- time. debasing of coinage...is there nothing you will not stoop to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 In the great Canadian tradition of niceness, fair play and barefaced hypocrisy, I would like to take this opportunity to gnash my teeth atcongratulate the Red Wings on their lucky-ass strong showing in the season so far not that it will last.Also a big Get-Well-Soon shout-out to Minnesota. You guys are a true inspiration in the finest tradition of never-giveup-and -call-in-sick hockey. Whenever I see your first line being wheeled onto the ice for the faceoff, I get a lump in my throat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Memo to: FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE SACRED IGLOO Local 13 Office of the Grand ShamanRe: Scouting report of September 2011 with strong evaluation of Brenda HewlettI am registering my official protest because you idiots managers of selecting our team this year failed to sign Ms. Hewlett to a contract.As you remember, we strongly told you morons committeewomen that she was a prime prostpect.To refresh your memories, we had noticed her, from our camo blind in the woods, sweeping her walkwas of leaves and acorns in September.Some local juvenile deliquents were taunting her and before we could sight in on the little bastards and take them out, she effortleessly launched three acorns from her broom without even looking up and each one slammed into the groins of each of the little ruffians sending them to the ground writhing in pain. She calmly finished sweeping, pulled a flask from her waist band, took a swig and lifted it towards the three (3) downed deliquents and wished them a happy autumn. Then, cackling, she calmly walked back into her house whistling a tune.Did you oafs folks sign her? No!Now look what she did.http://www.theblaze.com/stories/see-the-amazing-hockey-shot-that-won-a-59-year-old-woman-a-new-truck-christmas-miracle-on-ice/Frustratingly submittedScout @ 09389 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 Memo to: FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE SACRED IGLOO Local 13 Office of the Grand ShamanRe: Scouting report of September 2011 with strong evaluation of Brenda HewlettI am registering my official protest because you idiots managers of selecting our team this year failed to sign Ms. Hewlett to a contract.As you remember, we strongly told you morons committeewomen that she was a prime prostpect.To refresh your memories, we had noticed her, from our camo blind in the woods, sweeping her walkwas of leaves and acorns in September.Some local juvenile deliquents were taunting her and before we could sight in on the little bastards and take them out, she effortleessly launched three acorns from her broom without even looking up and each one slammed into the groins of each of the little ruffians sending them to the ground writhing in pain.She calmly finished sweeping, pulled a flask from her waist band, took a swig and lifted it towards the three (3) downed deliquents and wished them a happy autumn. Then, cackling, she calmly walked back into her house whistling a tune.Did you oafs folks sign her? No!Now look what she did.http://www.theblaze....miracle-on-ice/Frustratingly submittedScout @ 09389FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE SACRED IGLOO Local 13Office of the Grand ShamanDear Doug,You'll never let it go, will you? Brenda and I have been happily married for 31 years, get over it. She chose me over you. She will never leave me and take up with you however much you flatter her eye-hand coordination or send her "anonymous" gifts of jewellery that go with her auburn hair. If you were not a Brother you would have been picked up by the Mounties for stalking more than once.Now you are using your sinecure Scouting job to continue your campaign. It's pathetic. You are the one that said Justin Tootoo was "not ready" for the Iqalit Inuks, the same year he was drafted into the NHL, just because his aunt, like Brenda, did not want to go out with you.It is the opinion of the Scouting Committee that you need new glasses, and would benefit from the Intensive course at the Therapy Sweat Lodge. We have pre-registered you for the next session which begins on Jan.2 Stay away from my house till then.With warm good wishes of the season,ISSNanook Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 Furthermore, we were not aware that in September you were taking your scouting squad in such an innovative direction, or that you were combining it with your Amcan Eagle Scout troupe who are pursuing their Duke of Edinburgh awards, or that you were all armed. Thank you for the additional information. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 To Brother Adam CONFIDENTIALWatch out! It looks like Somebody is laying a paper trail against you which might not lead anywhere good. Be cool, go on the course, and DON'T SAY ANYTHING would be our advice if we represented you.If you ever need to talk you know where we are.ISS,Eb and Eb Jr.,Snowe and Snowe, the only lawyers for 1300 km Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 When the charges pile up...you need a Snowe job!I just looked them up, their slogan seems perfect! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 24, 2011 Author Share Posted December 24, 2011 When the charges pile up...you need a Snowe job!I just looked them up, their slogan seems perfect!Dear Brother Adam,In grateful receipt of your retainer. Lapp-Finn Solstice Smorgasbord is Gramma Snowe's favourite (so thoughtful of you!) and will be a great conversation piece at our New Years Day Open House (Everybody get Snowed in 2012!!) I am sure nobody will recognize if from PolarCon 2011As we have discussed, it is imperative that you show compliance and report to the Intensive on Jan. 2. It is a fine experience, really, not like the intro course you took before your Initiation. You stay at the Lodge all the time and have a personal spirit guidance counsellor, also Widow Furieuse and her 2 daughters come to give massages ever Tuesday and Thursday complete with birch twigs after the rock steam sauna. Unfortunately your counsellor will be Grampa McAloon but you know how it is. Mrs McA has been fine putting up with him through the past 11 Christmases but we can not reasonably expect her to have him in the house for any more consecutive days. He derives great benefit from his work with the Brotherhood helping others.ISS,EbbyEbenezer Snowe II, LLB ,QC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Congratulations to the Toronto Maple Leafs [i guess they are not related to the Nissan Leaf] Apparently, they are some kind of professional Hockey Team that beat the NY Islanders last night, convincingly 5-2!http://sports.yahoo.com/video/player/nhl/27700706#nhl/27700706Wait till they have to face my team, the NY Rangers with the league leading scorer!Adam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 24, 2011 Author Share Posted December 24, 2011 Er, the league leading scorer was a Toronto Maple Leaf, last time I looked.Beating the Isles is not exactly a herculean feat (except for the Wilder, Jonathan, haha). I confess I am apprehensive about facing the Rangers and, well, anybody else. There is hope that we might have an edge over NY though, due to those rumours that Tortorella is planning to claim asylum as soon as he crosses the border. He will file his refugee claim as a torture victim due to having to coach Sean Avery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Er, the league leading scorer was a Toronto Maple Leaf, last time I looked.Beating the Isles is not exactly a herculean feat (except for the Wilder, Jonathan, haha). I confess I am apprehensive about facing the Rangers and, well, anybody else. There is hope that we might have an edge over NY though, due to those rumours that Tortorella is planning to claim asylum as soon as he crosses the border. He will file his refugee claim as a torture victim due to having to coach Sean Avery.Leader in goals... Goals G 1. M. Gaborik NYR 21 2. P. Kessel TOR 20 3. J. Neal PIT 20 Points Pts 1. C. Giroux PHI 43 2. P. Kessel TOR 41 3. E. Malkin PIT 40 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 Er, the league leading scorer was a Toronto Maple Leaf, last time I looked.Beating the Isles is not exactly a herculean feat (except for the Wilder, Jonathan, haha). I confess I am apprehensive about facing the Rangers and, well, anybody else. There is hope that we might have an edge over NY though, due to those rumours that Tortorella is planning to claim asylum as soon as he crosses the border. He will file his refugee claim as a torture victim due to having to coach Sean Avery.Leader in goals... Goals G 1. M. Gaborik NYR 21 2. P. Kessel TOR 20 3. J. Neal PIT 20 Points Pts 1. C. Giroux PHI 43 2. P. Kessel TOR 41 3. E. Malkin PIT 40Oh well, one measly goal that should have been disallowed.Kessel still has the edge in leadership, however. He is the league leader in honouring the standard NHL player clause, "Never say anything interesting to the media." When interviewed he gives a good impression of John Galt writhing against his bonds and hoping desperately for deliverance from an ordeal beyond his endurance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 Why, why?It is not bad enough the Leafs can't get to the playoffs in living memory? Lowering expectations is not a good strategy in that situation. Proving that like the Scots folk with tennis, they can't kill the penalty to save their lives, and breaking the 11-year-old record for not being able to kill penalties, is not the goal to aim for here.I feel like killing somebody myself but who, who?Needless to state TO is behind 3-2 in the Peg, due to two Jets power play goals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 Political courage from a hockey player! Boston Goalie Tim Thomas, for "political reasons" refused to appear at the White House with his team mates to meet O'biwan: There was a notable absence during a White House reception this afternoon for the Stanley Cup champion Boston Bruins: star goalie Tim Thomas. Thomas refused the invite for "political reasons," Sports Illustrated reports. Nearly every other member of the Bruins was at the ceremony, where President Obama congratulated the team on its victory. Thomas is a staunch conservative and is expected to explain his snub of the president on his Facebook page this evening. "Whatever he will say is not reflective of our organization's views or beliefs," Bruins General Manager Peter Chiarelli told SI.com. http://www.politico.com/politico44/2012/01/boston-bruins-goalie-snubs-president-obama-111928.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljane Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 Political courage from a hockey player! Boston Goalie Tim Thomas, for "political reasons" refused to appear at the White House with his team mates to meet O'biwan:There was a notable absence during a White House reception this afternoon for the Stanley Cup champion Boston Bruins: star goalie Tim Thomas.Thomas refused the invite for "political reasons," Sports Illustrated reports.Nearly every other member of the Bruins was at the ceremony, where President Obama congratulated the team on its victory. Thomas is a staunch conservative and is expected to explain his snub of the president on his Facebook page this evening."Whatever he will say is not reflective of our organization's views or beliefs," Bruins General Manager Peter Chiarelli told SI.com.http://www.politico....ama-111928.htmlWell, there goes Obama's hope of capturing the US Hockey Fans vote, all 272 of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 Here is something much funnier...Senator John [he served in Vietnam] Kerry, at the same event, with two (2) black eyes and a broken nose. http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/EK3bVlpqXEk52iuAIpzjqg--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD02MTI7cT04NTt3PTQyNQ--/http://media.zenfs.com/en_us/News/ap_webfeeds/f331994e546a2302050f6a706700ac76.jpgHe claims that he received the injury playing (chuckle, laugh, guffaw) hockey!Two other possibilities have emerged...1) Tereeeeeza Heinz Kerry caught him with a bi-lingual dwarf; or,2) being the effete elitist that he is and always walking around with his nose up in the air, he just walked into a wall.Now there is a third alternative with walking into a wall and an erection, but we will not go there.Adam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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