Kat Posted June 5, 2007 Author Posted June 5, 2007 May 31 – Self-Esteem Every Day Treat people as if they are self-responsible and they will become self-responsible. Treat people as if they are helpless and they will become helpless. The secret of true kindness is to see the strength in a person that he or she does not yet recognize.
Kat Posted June 5, 2007 Author Posted June 5, 2007 June 1– Self-Esteem Every Day Self-esteem cannot exist without self-assertiveness.
Kat Posted June 5, 2007 Author Posted June 5, 2007 June 2– Self-Esteem Every Day It is easy to misunderstand self-assertiveness and to imagine that it means pushing your way into the front of the line, being rude to waiters, acting as if no one but you has needs or rights, or always demanding to be the center of attention. Do not confuse arrogance with intelligent and appropriate self-assertiveness.
Kat Posted June 5, 2007 Author Posted June 5, 2007 June 3– Self-Esteem Every Day Self-assertiveness is the willingness to put yourself into reality—your thoughts, your feelings, your values—in appropriate ways and in appropriate contexts.
Kat Posted June 5, 2007 Author Posted June 5, 2007 June 4– Self-Esteem Every Day Self-assertiveness should not be confused with mindless rebelliousness. Self-assertiveness without consciousness is tantamount to drunk driving.
Kat Posted June 5, 2007 Author Posted June 5, 2007 June 5– Self-Esteem Every Day To practice self-assertiveness is to live authentically, to speak and act from your innermost thoughts and feelings as a way of life—excepting, of course, the the circumstances in which you wisely choose not to do so: for example, when you are confronted by a holdup man.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 June 6– Self-Esteem Every Day In a class society, when you see a superior talking to an inferior, it is the inferior's eyes that are lowered. It is the slave that looks down, not the master. In the South there was a time when a black man could be beaten for the offense of daring to look at a white woman. Seeing is an act of self-assertion and has always been understood as such.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 June 7– Self-Esteem Every Day If you pay someone a compliment that genuinely reflects your values, that is self-assertiveness. If you tell a friend that his or her behavior is not acceptable and you are no longer willing to tolerate it, that is also self-assertiveness.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 June 8– Self-Esteem Every Day If you express and aesthetic or political conviction in a group without knowing whether anyone will agree or disagree, that is self-assertiveness. So is letting people see your joy or excitement.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 June 9 – Self-Esteem Every Day The willingness to let others see your vulnerability--that, too, is self-assertiveness. You refuse to fake who you are for the sake of an image.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 June 10– Self-Esteem Every Day Deep and courageous self-assertiveness is letting others hear the music inside you.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 June 11 – Self-Esteem Every Day Self-assertiveness means treating yourself and your values with decent respect in your encounters with other human beings.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 June 12 – Self-Esteem Every Day The opposite of self-assertiveness is self-abnegation—abandoning or submerging your personal values, judgment, and interests. Some people tell themselves this is a virtue. It is a "virtue" that corrodes self-esteem.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 June 13 – Self-Esteem Every Day Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves—their convictions and their aspirations—every day. There is nothing noble about it. It takes far more courage to fight for your values than to relinquish them.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 June 14 – Self-Esteem Every Day Chances are, when you were young, you were told, in effect, "Listen kid, here's the news: life is not about you. Life is not about what you want. What you want is not important. Life is about doing what other people expect of you." If you accepted this idea, later on you wondered what happened to your fire. Where had your enthusiasm for living gone?
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 15 Self-Esteem Every Day It is naive to think that self-assertiveness is easy. To live self-assertivelywhich means to live authenticallyis an act of high courage. That is why so many people spend the better parts of their lives in hidingfrom others and also from themselves.
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 16 Self-Esteem Every Day It is painful to face the self we know we have never had the integrity to honor and assert.
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 17 Self-Esteem Every Day It is humiliating to realize that when you drive yourself underground, when you fake who you are, often you do so for people you do not even like or respect.
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 18 Self-Esteem Every Day What is the specter that makes self-assertiveness feel so terrifying? The image of someone frowning in disagreement or disapproval.
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 19 Self-Esteem Every Day No one fears death as much as the person who knows he has never lived.
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 20 Self-Esteem Every Day In a dictatorship people often feel compelled to hide their thoughts and feelings for fear of being arrested or killed. Such fear can be rational. but what does it do for your self-esteem if you live that way in a free country?
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 21 Self-Esteem Every Day If you overcome your fear to ask someone for a date, a raise, or help with a project, that is an act of self-assertiveness. You are moving out into life instead of contracting and withdrawing.
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 22 Self-Esteem Every Day To accept the challenge of acquiring a new skill such as mastering the computer or learning to ski or play chess, especially when the prospect of doing so scares you, is an act of self-assertiveness. You are pushing your boundaries, defying your comfort zone, expanding your territory.
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 23 Self-Esteem Every Day One of the hardest things about self-assertiveness is challenging your limiting beliefs.
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 24 – Self-Esteem Every Day A bully hides his fear with false bravado. That is the opposite of self-assertiveness.
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