Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 25 Self-Esteem Every Day Sometimes when a man wants to cry, he gets angry; when a woman wants to get angry, she cries: two forms of non-self-assertiveness disguised as emotional expressiveness.
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 26 Self-Esteem Every Day "Passive-aggressive" is the name psychologists give to people who develop ingenious ways to torture those around them without ever being self-assertive.
Kat Posted June 28, 2007 Author Posted June 28, 2007 June 27 Self-Esteem Every Day In an organization self-assertiveness is required not merely to have a good idea but to develop it, fight for it, work to win supporters for it, and do everything in your power to assure its realization.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 June 28 – Self-Esteem Every Day Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy. They wonder why others often fail to treat them with respect—not realizing that they have signaled others that it is not necessary to treat them with respect.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 June 29 – Self-Esteem Every Day Persons with good self-esteem tend to be self-assertive. Persons who are self-assertive thereby strengthen their self-esteem. The causality flows in both directions. The relationship is reciprocal.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 June 30 – Self-Esteem Every Day It is a mistake to look at someone self-assertive and say, "It is easy for her, she has good self-esteem." One of the ways you build self-esteem is by being self-assertive when it is not easy to do. There are always times when self-assertiveness requires courage, no matter how high your self-esteem.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 1 – Self-Esteem Every DaySelf-esteem entails feeling in control of your existence. This feeling requires that you operate purposefully, since it is only through your goals and purposes that you can have any control over your life.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 2 – Self-Esteem Every DayTo exist without purpose is to be at the mercy of the chance encounter, the chance invitation, the chance phone call, the chance event—always being controlled by forces external to oneself.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 3 – Self-Esteem Every DayNot all purposes are equal. The key questions about any purpose is this: does this serve your life and well being? Is this a purpose you can be proud of?
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 4 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf you don’t know what your goals are, don’t be surprised when you don’t attain them.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 5 – Self-Esteem Every DayTo live purposefully is to formulate your short-term and long-term goals explicitly. What is your purpose in life? In choosing to get married? In choosing to bring a child into the world? In starting this business? In taking this job? In attending this meeting? In asking this person for a date? In participating in this seminar?
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 6 – Self-Esteem Every DayTo know your purposes is not enough. You need to think through what actions are needed to achieve your purposes. In business this is called having an action plan. Purposes unattached to action plans are not purposes; they are daydreams.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 7 – Self-Esteem Every Day"Wouldn't it be nice if—?" isn't a purpose.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 8 – Self-Esteem Every DayOnce you have formulated your goals and purposes and have identified the actions needed to achieve them, you must monitor your behavior to see that it stays in alignment with your stated intentions. It is all too easy to fall off the wagon, to get distracted and sidetracked, to move off in directions unrelated to your goals, purposes, and action plans. Living purposefully entails staying focused on where you are going.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 9 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhat is your purpose in reading this book? What (mental) actions do you need to take to achieve that purpose?
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 10 – Self-Esteem Every DayTo live purposefully, you need to pay attention to outcomes. You need t onotice wheter your actions are producing the results you expected—whether they are bringing you closer to your goal. Perhaps you have a well-formulated purpose, a well thought out action plan, and a pattern of action consistent with your intentions, but the action plan may not be the right one, and you need to go back to the drawing board. the only way to discover this is by paying attention to outcomes. As someone observed, doing more of what doesn't work, doesn't work.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 11 – Self-Esteem Every DayA common cause of business failure is seeing that a strategy isn't producing the anticipated results—and responding by going unconscious. The same policy is a common cause of failure in your personal life.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 12 – Self-Esteem Every DayYou say your goal is to have a happy marriage. What is your plan of action to achieve that result? What do you think must be done to bring about the outcome you desire? And why do you think so? Or do you believe that hopes and good intentions will do the trick?
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 13 – Self-Esteem Every DayYou say you want to raise happy, self-confident and self-responsible children. How much thought have you given to what is required to achieve this result? Have you investigated what you might learn from books on this subject? Why do you think that so many parents with the same good intentions as you fail at this endeavor? When you observe that some of your tactics are not successful, do you experiment with other tactics, seek new ideas, or do you stick to the old patterns and blame your children for the poor results.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 14 – Self-Esteem Every DayYou say you want to rise in your company. What do you do to show you are worthy of promotion? What is your long-term action plan to advance your career? For example what new skills are you developing to make yourself more valuable? Or are you merely waiting to be "discovered"?
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 15 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhat might you do differently if you were to make being happy you’re conscious purpose?
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 16 – Self-Esteem Every DayDaydreams do not produce an experience of efficacy.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 17 – Self-Esteem Every DayNo one can feel competent to cope with the challenges of life who was not acquired a capacity for self-discipline.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 18 – Self-Esteem Every DaySelf discipline is the ability to organize your behavior over time in the service of specific goals.
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 July 19 – Self-Esteem Every DayOne of the challenges of effective parenthood or effective teaching is to communicate a respect for the present that does not disregard the future, and a respect for the future that does not disregard the present.
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