Michael Stuart Kelly Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 October 28 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhen your partner is in pain over something, often the greatest gift you can offer is just to let your partner talk, and for you just to listen, just to be there, just to be available, and to convey your understanding of your partner's feelings without any obligation to say something brilliant, produce a solution, or cheer your partner up. Often merely expressing the problem to a caring listener fosters healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 October 29 – Self-Esteem Every DayRelationships are not destroyed by honest expressions of anger (those that avoid character assassination). But relationships die every day as a consequence of unexpressed anger. The repression of anger, the refusal to discuss grievances, kills love, kills sex, kills passion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 October 30 – Self-Esteem Every DayThe willingness to share your pain, your fear, and your anger—and to be open for the same from your partner—serves the growth of romantic love. Unwillingness to do so subverts its growth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 October 31 – Self-Esteem Every DayRomantic love is not a fantasy or delusion, but it requires more of you—in terms of spiritual maturity—than anyone ever told you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 1– Self-Esteem Every DayTo share a life with someones means far more than merely living in the same house or keeping company. It means sharing your inner world, all that pertains to the self. Is this something that you are willing to do? It is better to decide before the marriage than afterward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 2 – Self-Esteem Every Dayif you are afraid to know what you want or to express it unambiguously to your partner, to take responsibility for it, you might end up blaming your partner. You might feel hurt and resentment over your partner's lack of "sensitivity." You aren't a mind reader? Neither is your partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 3 – Self-Esteem Every DaySome people justify their cynicism about romantic love by pointing out that romantic love doesn't last. But for most people, no passion lasts. Why single out romantic love? It is a rare individual who knows how to nurture and sustain his or her excitement about anything. Doing so is an achievement to be admired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 4 – Self-Esteem Every DaySome people are afraid of excitement—their own or anyone else's. Never marry anyone who is not a friend of your excitement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 5 – Self-Esteem Every DayThere is no aphrodisiac as powerful as authentic communication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 6 – Self-Esteem Every DayThrough the giving and receiving of sexual pleasure, lovers continually reaffirm their joy in each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 7 – Self-Esteem Every DayMen and women need each other. That should make them friends. Too often, however, it makes them enemies because of the fear and anticipation of being hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 8 – Self-Esteem Every DayFully to surrender to love can be terrifying. But it is the price life asks in exchange for the possibility of ecstasy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 9 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf you do not know how to deal sensitively and intelligently with your lover, taking a second lover will probably not enhance your wisdom. It will merely expand the area of your incompetence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 10 – Self-Esteem Every DayLife is motion. Not to move forward is to move backward. If you are not evolving, you are decaying. If you and your partner are not growing together, you are dying together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Heaps-Nelson Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 November 10 – Self-Esteem Every DayLife is motion. Not to move forward is to move backward. If you are not evolving, you are decaying. If you and your partner are not growing together, you are dying together.Michael,Every time I pick up Nathaniel Branden's Psychology of Romantic Love, I find something new and useful, the last several quotations are some of his best.Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 11 – Self-Esteem Every DayThere are many complex reasons for falling in love with someone. Not all of them are self-evident. One of the pleasures of lovers is seeking to identify on deeper and deeper levels the traits that inspire and excite them in each other. The process can go on for years and can be a source of increasing pleasure and intimacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 12 – Self-Esteem Every DayA psychologist of my acquaintance announced, "Romantic love requires blindness. Passion dies in the light." "Do you mean," I answered, "that no one who really understands you can possibly be in love with you? Maybe so. But why lay that charge against the entire human race?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 13 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhen you enter a love relationship, you do so with certain explicit wants and expectations. Do you know what yours are? Do you know what your partner's are? Do you feel a responsibility to give that which you would like to receive (or its equivalent)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 14 – Self-Esteem Every DayGrown-ups carry their own weight—at work and in marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 15 – Self-Esteem Every DayEach person brings to a relationship certain assets and shortcomings. Do you know what yours are? What do you bring to a relationship that your partner is likely to find valuable? What do you bring that your partner might find difficult or troublesome? Do you feel an obligation to know (or discover) the answers to these questions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 16 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf you talk to people who have remained deeply in love over many years, you will find that they are mindful of their partners. Their love is mentally active. Mental passivity is the enemy of passion. Sleepwalking is not conducive to romantic love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 17 – Self-Esteem Every DayLoving consciously does not mean subjecting your relationship to endless analysis. It means something much simpler: paying attention. Noticing. This requires presense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 18 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf you find yourself in conflict with your partner, notice how the conflict is handled. When friction erupts, who does what? Is the focus on finding a solution or finding fault? On understanding or blaming or defending? Are differences approached in a spirit of benevolence or of fear and hostility? What has priority—protecting the relationship or self-justification (proving yourself "right")? If enstrangement sets in, who typically makes the first move to overcome it? What is the other partner doing in the meantime? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 19 – Self-Esteem Every DaySelf-esteem supports the success of love. The success of love supports self-esteem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 20 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhoever expresses an opinion about romantic love makes a personal confession. We speak out of what we have lived. Cynicism, for instance, is as much a statement about yourself as about anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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