Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 21 – Self-Esteem Every DaySometimes when people speak of romantic love they are really speaking about infatuation, which is quite a different story. While love embraces the person as a whole, infatuation is the result of focusing on one or two aspects and reacting as if they were the whole. You see a beautiful face and assume it is the image of a beautiful soul. You see that this person treats you kindly and assume the two of you have signifcant affinities. You discover that you have important values in one area and conclude you must be soul mates. When you awaken from the dream, it is hard to remember where you mind could have been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 22 – Self-Esteem Every DayIt is sometimes argued that since so many couples suffer feelings of disenchantment shortly after marriage, the experience of romantic love must be a delusion. Yet many people experience disenchantment during their careers somewhere along the line, but it is not commonly suggested that the pursuit of a fulfilling career is a mistake. Many people experience some degree of disenchantment with their children, but it is not commonly supposed that the desire to have children and be happy about them is inherently immature and neurotic. Instead, it is generally recognized that achieving happiness in one's career or success in child-rearing is more difficult than ordinarily supposed. Precisely the same conclusion should be drawn about romantic love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 23 – Self-Esteem Every DayAmong the many rewards of love is the opportunity to share your excitement and be nourished by the excitement of another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 24 – Self-Esteem Every DaySometimes pain is easier to bear alone than happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 25 – Self-Esteem Every DayThere is a reason why dictatorships set themselves against romantic love, labeling it petty and selfish—as dramatized, for example, in Orwell's 1984. Romantic love is intrinsically individualistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 26 – Self-Esteem Every DayFor "I" to become "we" and yet to remain "I" is one of the great challenges of marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 27 – Self-Esteem Every DayThere has never been a time when the word "love" was used quite so loosely as it is today. People say they "love" everyone. They say everyone is supposed to love everyone. However, love by its very nature entails a process of selection, of discrimination. Love is your response to that which represents your deepest values. Love is a response to distinctive characteristics possessed by some beings but not by all. If love between adults did not imply admiration, if it did not imply an appreciation of traits and qualities that the recipient of love possesses, what meaning or significance would love have, and why would anyone consider it desirable? You can offer most people respect and good will. You cannot offer them love. But you can claim to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 November 28 – Self-Esteem Every Day"Loving everyone" sounds suspiciously like spirtual promiscuity—the abandonment of all standards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 November 29 – Self-Esteem Every DayMany years ago, early in our marriage, my wife, Devers, said something that impressed me profoundly. "You are very kind, generous and caring—when you stop long enough in what you are doing for it to occur to you. What you have never learned is the discipline of kindness. This means kindness that is not a matter of mood or convenience. It means kindness as a basic way of functioning. It is in you as a potential, but it doesn't happen without consciousness and discipline." "The discipline of kindness" —I have learned to love that phrase. When I mention it in lectures, everyone seems instantly to know what it means—just as, I suspect, you do now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 November 30 – Self-Esteem Every DayRomantic love is not a distraction from spiritual growth but one of the paths by which it may be attained. It tests spiritual maturity in unique ways. It presents unique challenges to your honesty and authenticity. It can be easier to assume the role of guru and address thousands of people from the safety of a lecture platform than to encounter in your living room one human being who might love and respect you but faces you as an equal and is not afraid to challenge your judgment, question some of your actions, pull you back when you have gone too far, and, when necessary, to tell you to "come off it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 December 1 – Self-Esteem Every DayThe more rapid the rate of change, the more dangerous it is to live mechanically, relying on routines of belief and behavior that might be irrelevant or obsolete. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 December 2 – Self-Esteem Every DayEveryone operates more consciously in some areas than in others. People might bring great consciousness to their work and very little to personal relationships—or vise versa. They might think far more clearly about their careers than about their political beliefs—or vice versa. They might maintain a sharp mental focus in matters pertaining to their health but a more diffuse focus in matters pertaining to ethics or religion—or vice versa. To say that a person is not living at an adequate level of consciousness is to say that there are aspects of his or her life where the range of action exceeds the range of thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 December 3 – Self-Esteem Every DaySometimes there is no choice but to act instantly with no time for reflection. It is an act of consciousness to recognize such moments and take your chances—and know that you will live (or possibly die) with the consequences of your action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 December 4 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhether your focus is on preserving and strengthening family ties in a world of increasingly unstable relationships, gaining access to a decent job, growing and evolving as a person, or guiding a company through the stormy seas of a fiercely competitive global marketplace—whether your goals are material, emotional, or spiritual—the price of success is the same: thinking, learning. To be asleep at the wheel—to rely only on the known, familiar and automotized—is to invite disaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 December 5 – Self-Esteem Every DayTo arrive at a contradiction is to know that you have made an error. To persist in a contradiction is to short-circuit your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 December 6 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhen you live consciously, you do not evade facts; you do not pretend that by closing your eyes you can annihilate reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 December 7 – Self-Esteem Every DayLiving consciously reflects the conviction that sight is preferable to blindness; that respecting the facts of reality is more satisfying than defying them; that evasion does not make the unreal real or the real unreal; that it is better to correct your mistakes than to pretend they do not exist; and that the more conscious you are of facts bearing on your life and goals, the more wisely and effectively you can act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 December 8 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf you choose to move through life blindly, you have good reason to be anxious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 December 9 – Self-Esteem Every DayThe quest for reason is the non-contradictory integration of experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 December 10 – Self-Esteem Every DayNo other gift to a young person can equal that of teaching the intimate relationship that exists between rationality and self-esteem—between consciousness and efficacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 December 11 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhether in the workplace or in personal relationships, success belongs to those who are willing to take responsibility for attaining their desires—those who respond to life actively rather than passively. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 December 12 – Self-Esteem Every DayTo those who have fully experienced the joy of operating consciously the feeling is I = consciousness = aliveness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brant Gaede Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 December 12 – Self-Esteem Every DayTo those who have fully experienced the joy of operating consciously the feeling is I = consciousness = aliveness.Got the same thing from drinking falling down drunk. That was on a river trip through the Grand Canyon in 1978. Drinking red and white wine. It started raining so when everyone else retreated, I stayed with the wine. I almost fell 20' into the Colorado River. Then I got so sousced I couldn't even lift up my head. But, boy! Was I alive! Decided then I'd never get that way that bad again, and I haven't. But damn! I'll never forget the seven Black Russians I had at Ft. Sam Houston EM club in 1965! I do regret that on my 21st birthday it was Sunday in South Carolina and I couldn't buy one damn drink to celebrate! I was travelling by bus from jump school at Ft. Benning to Ft. Bragg, NC. The previous time I got into trouble with the red and white was in Sedona, AZ in 1964. My anthro class had a party and some jerk decided he was--after I got drunk on that stuff--going to take me home and rape me. I stabbed him on the arm. He's lucky that's all I did.--Brant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 December 13 – Self-Esteem Every DayIt is not a sin to have an impulse to avoid some painful fact. But learn to manage such impulses. Don't be ruled by them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 December 14 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf you bring five percent more awareness to your work tomorrow, or to your most important relationship, what might you do differently? Are you willing to find out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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