Michael Stuart Kelly Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 September 16 – Self-Esteem Every DayPeople high in self-esteem long to feel admiration; people low in self-esteem long to feel accepted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 17, 2006 Author Share Posted September 17, 2006 September 17 – Self-Esteem Every DayBeing romantic means treating the relationship as important, behaving in ways that underscore its importance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 19, 2006 Author Share Posted September 19, 2006 September 18 – Self-Esteem Every DayThe fact that you and your partner love each other does not guarantee that you will be able to create a joyful and rewarding relationship. Love per se does not ensure maturity and wisdom; yet without these qualities love is in jeopardy. Love does not automatically teach communication skills, effective methods of conflict resolution, or the art of integrating your love into the rest of your existence; yet the absence of such knowledge can lead to the death of love. Love does not produce self-esteem; it may reinforce and nurture it, but it cannot create it; still, without self-esteem love is difficult or impossible to sustain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 September 19 – Self-Esteem Every DayEvery love affair is a private universe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 September 20 – Self-Esteem Every DayA successful relationship between a man and a woman rests on fundamental similarities between them and on complimentary differences. Harmony in love requires a partner with whom we enjoy essential affinities in values and sense of life. But the excitement we also hope to find requires there be some differences in personality development, in skills, in styles of being and doing—complimentary differences, obviously, not antagonistic ones (like intelligences and its opposite). This special combination is necessary to make two people right for each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 September 21 – Self-Esteem Every DayIn romantic love the most basic similarity that makes love possible is that both people are human; the most basic complimentary difference that produces excitement is the fact that one is a man and the other a woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 24, 2006 Author Share Posted September 24, 2006 September 22 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf you do not feel deserving of happiness, consciously or subconsciously, or if you have accepted the idea that happiness is somehow wrong or cannot last, you will not respond appropriately when happiness comes knocking at your door in the form of romantic love. No matter how much you may have waited and cried, you will not welcome love when it arrives—you will find a way to sabotage it. What a challenge to resist this temptation! What an opportunity for true spiritual growth and transformation—to defy your negative feelings and honor the gift that life offers you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 24, 2006 Author Share Posted September 24, 2006 September 23 – Self-Esteem Every DayOne of the pleasures of romantic love that nurtures the relationship is talking about what you enjoy and appreciate in each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 26, 2006 Author Share Posted September 26, 2006 September 24 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhen your lover conveys that you are a source of pleasure, you feel loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 26, 2006 Author Share Posted September 26, 2006 September 25 – Self-Esteem Every DayExperts at seduction know how to make another person feel visible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 27, 2006 Author Share Posted September 27, 2006 September 26 – Self-Esteem Every DayTo nurture another person is to accept him or her unreservedly, to respect his or her sovereignty, to support his or her growth toward self-actualization, and to care about his or her thoughts, feelings and wants. Ideally, nurturing is a reciprocal process. If you care only about your own needs and not those of your partner, you relate as a child to a parent, not as an equal to an equal. In romantic love independent equals do not drain or explot each other. Mutual nurturing is one of the characteristics of happy relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 30, 2006 Author Share Posted September 30, 2006 September 27 – Self-Esteem Every DayTo nurture is to love not only your own partner's strength but also his or her fragility, not only that within your partner that is powerful but also that which is delicate, not only that which is grown-up but that which is young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 30, 2006 Author Share Posted September 30, 2006 September 28 – Self-Esteem Every DayIn successful romantic love there is a unique depth of absorption by and facination with with being and personality of the partner. Hence, for each there can be a powerful experience of visibility—which creates a powerful bond. It is supremely important to know how to make your partner feel visible, seen, understood, appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted September 30, 2006 Author Share Posted September 30, 2006 September 29 – Self-Esteem Every DayIn love, the self is celebrated, not denied, abandoned, or sacrificed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 September 30 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhat you love is the embodiment of your values in another human being—hardly an act of self-abnegation. Love is not selfless. Ask yourself whether you want your lover to caress you unselfishly, with no pleasure or gratification, or whether you want your lover to caress you because it is a joy for him or her to do so. Ask yourself whether you want your partner to spend time alone with you and to experience doing so as an act of self-sacrifice—or whether you want your partner to experience doing so as glory. And if it's glory that you want your partner to feel, if you want your partner to experience joy in your presence, to feel excitement and/or passion, fascination, delight—then stop talking about selfless love as a noble ideal. Would anyone with even a shred of self-respect say, "I want you to love me selflessly?" It is a very strange "spirituality" that defines love with selflessness. The great compliment of love is that your personal concept of self-interest expands to include the happiness and well-being of your partner. Your partner's joy and fulfillment matter to you selfishly. And when your partner sees that attitude in you, he or she feels truly loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 October 1 – Self-Esteem Every DayYour desire for love from others is inseparable from your desire for visibility. Think about it. If someone professed love for you but when talking about what he or she found lovable name characteristics you did not think you possessed, did not especially admire, and could not personally related to, you would hardly feel nourished or loved. You do not merely wish to be loved; you wish to be loved for reasons that are personally meaningful to you and that are congruent with your perception of yourself. Celebrities and beautiful people in general often feel invisible in spite of having numerous admirers precisely because they recognize that their fans are in love with their own fantasy of the person, not the real person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 October 2 – Self-Esteem Every DayRomantic love at its best: In loving your partner, you encounter yourself. A lover ideally reacts to you as, in effect, you would react to yourself in the person of another. Thus, you preceive your self through your lover's reaction. You perceive your own person through its consequences in the consciousness—and, as a result, the behavior—of your partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 October 3 – Self-Esteem Every DayIn feeling visible to your lover, you discover new aspects of who you are. Love stimulates self-discovery. That is one source of its excitement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 October 4 – Self-Esteem Every DayThe desire for psychological visibility is not the same as the desire to be validated by someone. The desire to be seen and understood is not the same as the desire to be approved of. The desire to have your goodness recognized and perceived is different from waiting to find out from someone else whether you are good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 October 5 – Self-Esteem Every DayThe desire for sexual as well as psychological union is part of romantic love. Through the exchange of intense pleasure, lovers celebrate life, self, and each other in a single act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 October 6 – Self-Esteem Every DayPleasure allows us to experience life as a value and yourself as a value. There is no knowledge more precious than that of the value of life and of self. And sexual joy at its most intense provides this knowledge—not abstractly, but with the vividness and intensity of direct sensory perception. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 October 7 – Self-Esteem Every DaySex is unique among pleasures in its integration of body and mind, or body and spirit—providing, of course, that you can take pride in your choice of partner. When your choice is a source of shame or embarassment, that is another story entirely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 October 8 – Self-Esteem Every DayIn sex, more than any other activity, you experience the fact that you are an end in yourself and that the purpose of life is happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 10, 2006 Author Share Posted October 10, 2006 October 9 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf sex involves an act of self-celebration; if in sex you desire the freedom to be spontaneous, to be emotionally open and uninhibited, to assert your right to pleasure, and to flaunt your pleasure in your own being—then the person you most desire is the person whom you feel freest to be who you are, the person who you (consciously or subconsciously) regard as an appropriate psychological mirror, the person who reflects your deepest review of yourself and of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 October 10 – Self-Esteem Every DayA healthy masculinity or femininity is the consequence or expression of an affirmative response to your own sexual nature. This entail a strong, enthusiastic awareness of your own sexuality; a positive (fearless and guiltless) response to the phenomenon of sex; a disposition to experience sex as expression of the self rather than as something alien or darkly incomprehensible; a positive and self-valuing response to your own body; an enthusiastic appreciation of the body of the opposite sex; a capacity for freedom, spontaneity, and delight in the sexual encounter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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