Nathaniel Branden's Self-Esteem Every Day - 2006


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May 20 – Self-Esteem Every Day

If you operate self-responsibly and something goes wrong, your response is not, "Someone's gotta do something!" but rather "What can I do? What possibilities for action exist? What needs to be done?"
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May 21 – Self-Esteem Every Day

If you embrace self-responsibility not merely as a personal preference but as a philosophical principle, logically you commit yourself to a profoundly important moral idea. In taking responsibility for your own existence, you implicitly recognize that other human beings are not your servants and do not exist for the satisfaction of your needs. They do not owe you "service." This means you are not entitled to treat other persons merely as means to your ends, just as you are not a means to their ends. You are not entitled to demand that others work and live for your sake, just as you do not live and work for others. Morally and rationally you are obliged to respect everyone's right to self-interest, just as they are obliged to respect yours. This common understanding is the base of civilized relationships.
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May 22 – Self-Esteem Every Day

Blaming is a dead end. What is needed is to focus on solutions, discovering your own resources and mobilizing the will to use them.

What are you willing to do to make your life better?

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May 23 – Self-Esteem Every Day

Young persons are more likely to learn self-responsibility from adults who exemplify it in their own behavior.
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May 24 – Self-Esteem Every Day

Young persons are more likely to learn self-responsibility from parents and teachers who expect and require it.
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May 25 – Self-Esteem Every Day

Aside from cases of violent coercion, as when someone points a gun at you, you are responsible for your reactions. No one "makes" you enraged to the point of turning violent.  No one "makes" you become sarcastic and abusive.  No one "makes" you do things you are ashamed to take responsibility for.
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May 26 – Self-Esteem Every Day

The paradox is that learning self-responsibility leaves you feeling lighter, not heavier, since now your life is in your own hands.
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May 27 – Self-Esteem Every Day

Some popular ways of avoiding responsibility are pretending to be confused; reaching for an alibi; blaming and crying, "But that was not in my job description!"
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May 28 – Self-Esteem Every Day

Self-respecting men and women think about the consequences of their actions—and are willing to take responsibility for them.
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May 29 – Self-Esteem Every Day

If you want to learn self-responsibility, meditate on this Spanish proverb: "Take what you want," said God, "and pay for it."
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If you want to learn self-responsibility, meditate on this Spanish proverb: "Take what you want," said God, "and pay for it."

I love that proverb, and have long considered it -- correctly interpreted -- the most succinct expression I've ever found of my own ethics. (The trick lies in ascertaining -- with clear-eyed assessment of the requirements and consequences of obtaining -- what you most truly want.)

But I think the wording reads better in English translated the way I originally heard it (which was well before I learned that Nathaniel also likes it):

"Take what you want," says the Lord. "And pay for it."

Ellen

___

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May 30 – Self-Esteem Every Day

It is true that sometimes people are hit with adversities beyond their control. But those so affected are better helped when they awaken to the resources they do possess than when they are told they haven't any.
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May 31 – Self-Esteem Every Day

Treat people as if they are self-responsible and they will become self-responsible. Treat people as if they are helpless and they will become helpless. The secret of true kindness is to see the strength in a person that he or she does not yet recognize.
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June 2– Self-Esteem Every Day

It is easy to misunderstand self-assertiveness and to imagine that it means pushing your way into the front of the line, being rude to waiters, acting as if no one but you has needs or rights, or always demanding to be the center of attention. Do not confuse arrogance with intelligent and appropriate self-assertiveness.
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June 3– Self-Esteem Every Day

Self-assertiveness is the willingness to put yourself into reality—your thoughts, your feelings, your values—in appropriate ways and in appropriate contexts.
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June 4– Self-Esteem Every Day

Self-assertiveness should not be confused with mindless rebelliousness. Self-assertiveness without consciousness is tantamount to drunk driving.
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June 5– Self-Esteem Every Day

To practice self-assertiveness is to live authentically, to speak and act from your innermost thoughts and feelings as a way of life—excepting, of course, the the circumstances in which you wisely choose not to do so: for example, when you are confronted by a holdup man.
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June 6– Self-Esteem Every Day

In a class society, when you see a superior talking to an inferior, it is the inferior's eyes that are lowered. It is the slave that looks down, not the master. In the South there was a time when a black man could be beaten for the offense of daring to look at a white woman.  Seeing is an act of self-assertion and has always been understood as such.
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"Take what you want," said God, "and pay for it."

Amen!

I love that proverb, and have long considered it -- correctly interpreted -- the most succinct expression I've ever found of my own ethics. (The trick lies in ascertaining -- with clear-eyed assessment of the requirements and consequences of obtaining -- what you most truly want.)

Amen Sister!

Self-respecting men and women think about the consequences of their actions—and are willing to take responsibility for them.

Yep!

Self-esteem cannot exist without self-assertiveness.

Yep!

It is easy to misunderstand self-assertiveness and to imagine that it means pushing your way into the front of the line, being rude to waiters, acting as if no one but you has needs or rights, or always demanding to be the center of attention.

Waiters and Waitresses love me. Why? I tip well. Why? I understand that they are working for a living. Why? Because I know what it is like to work for a living. And, I enjoy watching other people doing it too!

Do not confuse arrogance with intelligent and appropriate self-assertiveness.

Hello! ........SOLO!.................You hearing this?

Self-assertiveness should not be confused with mindless rebelliousness. Self-assertiveness without consciousness is tantamount to drunk driving.

....or tantamount to running SOLOPassion!

To practice self-assertiveness is to live authentically, to speak and act from your innermost thoughts and feelings as a way of life.

Yep!

In a class society, when you see a superior talking to an inferior, it is the inferior's eyes that are lowered. It is the slave that looks down, not the master. In the South there was a time when a black man could be beaten for the offense of daring to look at a white woman. Seeing is an act of self-assertion and has always been understood as such.

I don't look down. I like to see. I like to see through people.

Seeing is an act of self-assertion and has always been understood as such.

And, you can't see through the Bullshit if you don't have your head up, looking for it.

Hey, this Nathanial Branden guy is pretty good!

I wonder if he's ever considered writing any of this stuff down? I think he could be famous. If he applied himself! :D

gw

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June 7– Self-Esteem Every Day

If you pay someone a compliment that genuinely reflects your values, that is self-assertiveness. If you tell a friend that his or her behavior is not acceptable and you are no longer willing to tolerate it, that is also self-assertiveness.
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June 8– Self-Esteem Every Day

If you express and aesthetic or political conviction in a group without knowing whether anyone will agree or disagree, that is self-assertiveness.  So is letting people see your joy or excitement.
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June 9 – Self-Esteem Every Day

The willingness to let others see your vulnerability--that, too, is self-assertiveness.  You refuse to fake who you are for the sake of an image.
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June 11 – Self-Esteem Every Day

Self-assertiveness means treating yourself and your values with decent respect in your encounters with other human beings.
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