Kat Posted November 6, 2006 Author Share Posted November 6, 2006 November 5 – Self-Esteem Every DayThere is no aphrodisiac as powerful as authentic communication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 6, 2006 Author Share Posted November 6, 2006 November 6 – Self-Esteem Every DayThrough the giving and receiving of sexual pleasure, lovers continually reaffirm their joy in each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 November 7 – Self-Esteem Every DayMen and women need each other. That should make them friends. Too often, however, it makes them enemies because of the fear and anticipation of being hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 November 8 – Self-Esteem Every DayFully to surrender to love can be terrifying. But it is the price life asks in exchange for the possibility of ecstasy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 12, 2006 Author Share Posted November 12, 2006 November 9 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf you do not know how to deal sensitively and intelligently with your lover, taking a second lover will probably not enhance your wisdom. It will merely expand the area of your incompetence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 12, 2006 Author Share Posted November 12, 2006 November 10 – Self-Esteem Every DayLife is motion. Not to move forward is to move backward. If you are not evolving, you are decaying. If you and your partner are not growing together, you are dying together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 12, 2006 Author Share Posted November 12, 2006 November 11 – Self-Esteem Every DayThere are many complex reasons for falling in love with someone. Not all of them are self-evident. One of the pleasures of lovers is seeking to identify on deeper and deeper levels the traits that inspire and excite them in each other. The process can go on for years and can be a source of increasing pleasure and intimacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 12, 2006 Author Share Posted November 12, 2006 November 12 – Self-Esteem Every DayA psychologist of my acquaintance announced, "Romantic love requires blindness. Passion dies in the light." "Do you mean," I answered, "that no one who really understands you can possibly be in love with you? Maybe so. But why lay that charge against the entire human race?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 15, 2006 Author Share Posted November 15, 2006 November 13 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhen you enter a love relationship, you do so with certain explicit wants and expectations. Do you know what yours are? Do you know what your partner's are? Do you feel a responsibility to give that which you would like to receive (or its equivalent)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 15, 2006 Author Share Posted November 15, 2006 November 14 – Self-Esteem Every DayGrown-ups carry their own weight—at work and in marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 17, 2006 Author Share Posted November 17, 2006 November 15 – Self-Esteem Every DayEach person brings to a relationship certain assets and shortcomings. Do you know what yours are? What do you bring to a relationship that your partner is likely to find valuable? What do you bring that your partner might find difficult or troublesome? Do you feel an obligation to know (or discover) the answers to these questions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 17, 2006 Author Share Posted November 17, 2006 November 16 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf you talk to people who have remained deeply in love over many years, you will find that they are mindful of their partners. Their love is mentally active. Mental passivity is the enemy of passion. Sleepwalking is not conducive to romantic love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 17, 2006 Author Share Posted November 17, 2006 November 17 – Self-Esteem Every DayLoving consciously does not mean subjecting your relationship to endless analysis. It means something much simpler: paying attention. Noticing. This requires presense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 19, 2006 Author Share Posted November 19, 2006 November 18 – Self-Esteem Every DayIf you find yourself in conflict with your partner, notice how the conflict is handled. When friction erupts, who does what? Is the focus on finding a solution or finding fault? On understanding or blaming or defending? Are differences approached in a spirit of benevolence or of fear and hostility? What has priority—protecting the relationship or self-justification (proving yourself "right")? If enstrangement sets in, who typically makes the first move to overcome it? What is the other partner doing in the meantime? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 19, 2006 Author Share Posted November 19, 2006 November 19 – Self-Esteem Every DaySelf-esteem supports the success of love. The success of love supports self-esteem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 21, 2006 Author Share Posted November 21, 2006 November 20 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhoever expresses an opinion about romantic love makes a personal confession. We speak out of what we have lived. Cynicism, for instance, is as much a statement about yourself as about anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 November 21 – Self-Esteem Every DaySometimes when people speak of romantic love they are really speaking about infatuation, which is quite a different story. While love embraces the person as a whole, infatuation is the result of focusing on one or two aspects and reacting as if they were the whole. You see a beautiful face and assume it is the image of a beautiful soul. You see that this person treats you kindly and assume the two of you have signifcant affinities. You discover that you have important values in one area and conclude you must be soul mates. When you awaken from the dream, it is hard to remember where you mind could have been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 November 22 – Self-Esteem Every DayIt is sometimes argued that since so many couples suffer feelings of disenchantment shortly after marriage, the experience of romantic love must be a delusion. Yet many people experience disenchantment during their careers somewhere along the line, but it is not commonly suggested that the pursuit of a fulfilling career is a mistake. Many people experience some degree of disenchantment with their children, but it is not commonly supposed that the desire to have children and be happy about them is inherently immature and neurotic. Instead, it is generally recognized that achieving happiness in one's career or success in child-rearing is more difficult than ordinarily supposed. Precisely the same conclusion should be drawn about romantic love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 24, 2006 Author Share Posted November 24, 2006 November 23 – Self-Esteem Every DayAmong the many rewards of love is the opportunity to share your excitement and be nourished by the excitement of another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 24, 2006 Author Share Posted November 24, 2006 November 24 – Self-Esteem Every DaySometimes pain is easier to bear alone than happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 26, 2006 Author Share Posted November 26, 2006 November 25 – Self-Esteem Every DayThere is a reason why dictatorships set themselves against romantic love, labeling it petty and selfish—as dramatized, for example, in Orwell's 1984. Romantic love is intrinsically individualistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 1, 2006 Author Share Posted December 1, 2006 November 26 – Self-Esteem Every DayFor "I" to become "we" and yet to remain "I" is one of the great challenges of marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 1, 2006 Author Share Posted December 1, 2006 November 27 – Self-Esteem Every DayThere has never been a time when the word "love" was used quite so loosely as it is today. People say they "love" everyone. They say everyone is supposed to love everyone. However, love by its very nature entails a process of selection, of discrimination. Love is your response to that which represents your deepest values. Love is a response to distinctive characteristics possessed by some beings but not by all. If love between adults did not imply admiration, if it did not imply an appreciation of traits and qualities that the recipient of love possesses, what meaning or significance would love have, and why would anyone consider it desirable? You can offer most people respect and good will. You cannot offer them love. But you can claim to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 1, 2006 Author Share Posted December 1, 2006 November 28 – Self-Esteem Every Day"Loving everyone" sounds suspiciously like spirtual promiscuity—the abandonment of all standards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted December 1, 2006 Author Share Posted December 1, 2006 November 29 – Self-Esteem Every DayMany years ago, early in our marriage, my wife, Devers, said something that impressed me profoundly. "You are very kind, generous and caring—when you stop long enough in what you are doing for it to occur to you. What you have never learned is the discipline of kindness. This means kindness that is not a matter of mood or convenience. It means kindness as a basic way of functioning. It is in you as a potential, but it doesn't happen without consciousness and discipline." "The discipline of kindness" —I have learned to love that phrase. When I mention it in lectures, everyone seems instantly to know what it means—just as, I suspect, you do now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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