Kat Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 October 11 – Self-Esteem Every DayThe essence of romantic love is this: I see you as a person, and because you are what you are, I love and desire you—for my happiness in general and my sexual happiness in particular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 October 12 – Self-Esteem Every DayFascination, attraction, passion may be born at first sight. Love cannot. Love requires time. But later, looking back, if your initial feelings are supported and reinforced by subsequent knowledge and experience, it can feel that love began at first sight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 15, 2006 Author Share Posted October 15, 2006 October 13 – Self-Esteem Every DayOften you are most intolerant in your lover of those qualities you have disowned in yourself. So paying attention to what angers you or makes you impatient can be a doorway leading to self-awareness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 15, 2006 Author Share Posted October 15, 2006 October 14 – Self-Esteem Every DayAn immature woman looks at her lover and, deep in her psyche, there is the thought, "My father made me feel rejected; you will take his place and give me what he failed to give me. I will create a home for you, cook your meals, and bear your children—I will be your good little girl." An immature man looks at his bride and thinks, "Now, I am a married man; I am grown up; I have responsibilities—just like Father. I will work hard, I will be your protector, I will take care of you—just like Father did with Mother. Then he and you and everyone will see that I am a good boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 15, 2006 Author Share Posted October 15, 2006 October 15 – Self-Esteem Every DayOn one level it is true enough to say a characteristic of immature love is that the man and woman do not perceive each other realistically; fantasies and projections take the place of clear vision. Yet on a deeper level, often they do know whom they have chosen. They pretend to be blind—so that the drama of later suffering can play itself out and they can fulfill the disappointment they always knew as their "destiny." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 17, 2006 Author Share Posted October 17, 2006 October 16 – Self-Esteem Every DayTo take responsibility for our life and happiness, we need to relinquish the belief that frustation and defeat are our natural and inevitable fate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 18, 2006 Author Share Posted October 18, 2006 October 17 – Self-Esteem Every DayIndividuals high in self-esteem are usually attracted to others high in self-esteem; those with medium self-esteem usually seek out others with medium self-esteem; and likewise for those with low self-esteem In such cases attraction does not refer to a momentary sexual response but to the enduring attachment we are likely to call "love." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 18, 2006 Author Share Posted October 18, 2006 October 18 – Self-Esteem Every DayThe first requirement of happiness in romantic love is a vision of yourself that contains the rightness of being loved, the naturalness of being loved, the appropriateness of being loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 22, 2006 Author Share Posted October 22, 2006 October 19 – Self-Esteem Every DayPeople who love themselves do not find it incomprehensible that others should love them. They are able to allow others to love them. Their love has ease and grace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 22, 2006 Author Share Posted October 22, 2006 October 20 – Self-Esteem Every DayThe tragedy of too many people is that they cannot allow happiness just to be there; they cannot leave it alone. Their sense of who they are and of what their destiny is cannot accomodate happiness. So they are driven to find ways to sabotage it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 22, 2006 Author Share Posted October 22, 2006 October 21 – Self-Esteem Every DaySome people have a view of self and of the universe that obliges them to struggle for happiness—"some time in the future"—perhaps next year or the year after that. But not now. Not at this moment. Not here. Here and now is too terrifyingly close, too terrifyingly immediate. They suffer from happiness anxiety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 22, 2006 Author Share Posted October 22, 2006 October 22 – Self-Esteem Every DayRomantic love is for grown-ups; it is not for children. It is not for children in a literal sense or in a psychological sense: Not for those who, regardless of age, still experience themselves as children. Romantic love requires some measure of autonomy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 October 23 – Self-Esteem Every DayAutonomous men and women have grown beyond the need to prove to anyone that they are good boys or good girls—just as they have grown beyond the need for their spouse or romantic partner to be their mother or father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 26, 2006 Author Share Posted October 26, 2006 October 24 – Self-Esteem Every DayAutonomous individuals have a greater capacity to roll with the punches, to see the normal frictions of life in perspective, not to get their feelings hurt over trivia; even if they are hurt occasionally, they do not experience such moments as catastrophes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 26, 2006 Author Share Posted October 26, 2006 October 25 – Self-Esteem Every DayAutonomous lovers respect their partner's need to follow his or her own destiny, to be alone sometimes, to be preoccupied sometimes, not to be thinking about the relationship sometimes, to be concerned about other vital matters that may not involve the partner in any direct sense, such as work, personal unfolding and evolution, and personal developmental needs. Give this freedom to yourself as well as to the person you love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 October 26 – Self-Esteem Every DayOnly when you stop fighting the fact of your ultimate aloneness are you ready for romantic love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 October 27 – Self-Esteem Every DaySo much of the joy of love—so much that nurtures love—has to do with showing and sharing who you are. To be afraid of self-disclosure is to be afraid of love. Mutual self-disclosure opens the door to many of the most precious values romantic love can offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 October 28 – Self-Esteem Every DayWhen your partner is in pain over something, often the greatest gift you can offer is just to let your partner talk, and for you just to listen, just to be there, just to be available, and to convey your understanding of your partner's feelings without any obligation to say something brilliant, produce a solution, or cheer your partner up. Often merely expressing the problem to a caring listener fosters healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 October 29 – Self-Esteem Every DayRelationships are not destroyed by honest expressions of anger (those that avoid character assassination). But relationships die every day as a consequence of unexpressed anger. The repression of anger, the refusal to discuss grievances, kills love, kills sex, kills passion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 1, 2006 Author Share Posted November 1, 2006 October 30 – Self-Esteem Every DayThe willingness to share your pain, your fear, and your anger—and to be open for the same from your partner—serves the growth of romantic love. Unwillingness to do so subverts its growth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 1, 2006 Author Share Posted November 1, 2006 October 31 – Self-Esteem Every DayRomantic love is not a fantasy or delusion, but it requires more of you—in terms of spiritual maturity—than anyone ever told you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 5, 2006 Author Share Posted November 5, 2006 November 1– Self-Esteem Every DayTo share a life with someones means far more than merely living in the same house or keeping company. It means sharing your inner world, all that pertains to the self. Is this something that you are willing to do? It is better to decide before the marriage than afterward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 5, 2006 Author Share Posted November 5, 2006 November 2 – Self-Esteem Every Dayif you are afraid to know what you want or to express it unambiguously to your partner, to take responsibility for it, you might end up blaming your partner. You might feel hurt and resentment over your partner's lack of "sensitivity." You aren't a mind reader? Neither is your partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 5, 2006 Author Share Posted November 5, 2006 November 3 – Self-Esteem Every DaySome people justify their cynicism about romantic love by pointing out that romantic love doesn't last. But for most people, no passion lasts. Why single out romantic love? It is a rare individual who knows how to nurture and sustain his or her excitement about anything. Doing so is an achievement to be admired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted November 5, 2006 Author Share Posted November 5, 2006 November 4 – Self-Esteem Every DaySome people are afraid of excitement—their own or anyone else's. Never marry anyone who is not a friend of your excitement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now