Trump humor

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In order to try to diminish President Trump's achievement in the death of al-Baghdadi, the Washington Post ran the following headline, which they soon replaced after being subject to a collective dump.


There is now a hashtag at twitter and, man, are people having fun with this:


Click on that link and you will see plenty of fun, but here are a few tidbits:


Al Capone, noted self-made entrepreneur, dies at 48.

Saddam Hussein, successful politician, oil baron and noted tough boss, dead at 69.

Attila the Hun, world traveler and government administrator, dies at 47.

Ted Bundy, unconventional pickup artist, dies, shockingly, at 42.

Charles Manson, devout family man and Beach Boys super fan, passes away at 83.

Nero, emperor who helped Christians bring light to Rome, dies at 30.

Jeffrey Dahmer, who pushed the boundaries of culinary innovation, died today at the age of 34. Dahmer's murder makes him yet the latest victim of the rampant homophobia that transpires in Newt Gingrich's America.

Football great, widower O.J. Simpson...

Oscar-winning director, Roman Polanski, who loved children...

War veteran who gave his life raising awareness about government overreach Timothy McVeigh...

Jeffery Epstein, Financier and renowned feminist, dead at 68. 

Jim Jones, passionate community organizer and religious leader, dead at 47.

Abu al-Baghdadi, the Billy Graham of Islam, murdered by Donald Trump at the age of 48.  Democrats rally for immediate impeachment.

Adolf Hitler, passionate community planner and dynamic public speaker, dies at 56.

Count Dracula, innovator in hematology, dead at 590.





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Poor guy . . . at least he didn't suffer. HIs specialty was raping women and killing.  Grrr@torture the bastard.

OK who's next?  PMarc Benioff: We need a new capitalism that is more fair, equitable & sustainable that values stakeholders as importantly as shareholders. Business is the greatest platform for change where purpose can rise above profit & we focus on improving the state of the world.

Salesforce Founder, Chairman and co-CEO Marc Benioff is out with a new book "Trailblazer." He argues capitalism is dead and a new form of capitalism is needed. He calls for higher taxes on the wealthy and admits CEOs have largely gotten a pass. He also weighs in on big tech regulation and says Facebook must be broken up. Produced by Haley Draznin, CNN.

This guy is trying to sell a book and is wiping the crap off his shoes. A new form of Capitalism? Just go away you turdle.  Peter

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Mash up for the Haters® ...



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Was that a threat? Will the President read the “Ukraine call transcript” on TV? But, but, but . . . what if the actual words prove he might have “hinted some things” if you read between the lines? Oh, come on! There was no scratch my back, Bobo the chimp, and I will scratch yours. Perhaps President Trump should be accompanied by Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones who will narrate parts of the transcript in a Boris Karloff voice reminiscing “Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” with podiums of their own? Too complicated? Well, after that we can have Mike Myers imitating Nancy Pelosi with his Dr. Evil or Austen Powers voice. Peter

Notes. "I heard you had a prosecutor who was very good and he was shut down and that's really unfair," said President Trump. "A lot of people are talking about that, the way they shut your very good prosecutor down and you had some very bad people involved." . . . . "I would like you to do us a favor though because our country has been through a lot and Ukraine knows a lot about it. I would like you to find out what happened with this whole situation with Ukraine, they say Crowdstrike ... I guess you have one of your wealthy people... The server, they say Ukraine has it."

Dr. Evil: Lower the globe.

Frau Farbissina: LOWER THE GLOBE!

Dr. Evil: [Earth Globe lands on Dr. Evil's head and head goes through Globe] OW! Ow!

Goldmember: Shizer!

Dr. Evil: Well, Congratulations, Numb-Nuts! You've succeeded in turnin' me into a frickin' Jack-In-The-Box! Get it off. Get it off! It's Dark, it's dark! . . . All right, let me find my balls for God's sakes. 1, 2 . . . and 3, okay; I'm OK.

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“Hi. This is Fox’s Bret Baier.”

“And I’m Martha Maccallum.  The transcript of the Trump call will be narrated by a rotating panel of Clint Eastwood, Jon Voight, Dean Cain (Superman), Stephen Baldwin, Gary Busey, Lou Ferrigno (The Hulk), Hulk  Hogan (The Lou?), and Mike Ditka.

“Thank you Martha. Good joke about Hogan. However, these huge Trump celebrity supporters can’t decide who gets to be the President and who should read Ukrainian President Zelensky’s lines.”

“You know he has an accent and he was an actor and a comedian, didn’t you?” said Wayne Newton who will sing “Danke Schoen” to kick off the event.

“OK! I’ll do Zelensky, in my deepest voice,” said Rosanne Barr, “but only if I get to hug President Trump.”

Notes. Country singer Loretta Lynn told a Reuters reporter in January 2016 that "he's the only one who's going to turn this country around."

From Wikipedia. Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelensky (officially Zelenskyy, born 25 January 1978) is a Ukrainian actor, comedian, screenwriter, film producer, director, economist and politician who is currently the 6th President of Ukraine since May 2019.

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Ready for a “talk over” argument with celebrities? Go to youtube or SFGATE and listen to The View show with two patriots Donald Trump Jr. and his girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle and five semi treasonous bitches. Even John McCain’s daughter sounded a bit shrill and left wing. Donald Trump Jr. can fight back with strength. He was brave to venture into the quicksand. Peter   

Notes. Donald Trump Jr.’s girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle is worth $20 million and Donald Trump Jr. is worth $300 million. 

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Damn it. It is time the Biden’s are investigated! Patriotic Americans are demanded the truth be revealed. Where is the justice department? On vacation?

But has President Trump learned his lesson about ambiguous language and “hinting?” Probably not. He has no advisors around him with the experience to navigate the dark halls of nuance and even if he did, would he allow them to moderate him? Again, probably not.

Rudy may not be up to the task. He should do his job but stay out of foreign affairs. Some say the President’s Business expertise is NOT up to the task but now he truly understands the dark shadow-land of nuance. Oh yes he does! Just notice the Harry Potter-ish names involved in this thankless task. Zelensky, Biden, Schitt, and Ratcliffe. The President has recently hired several college professors, including, Sybill Trelawney, Albus Dumbledore, and Severus Snape.

Adam Schitt has 90 House members asking for his censure, after bringing up new allegations. “I know for a fact,” said Schitt, “that a nurse for Trump’s dentist has said in the National Enquirer that Trump flosses after brushing. That is just so wrong. A second witness has said that Trump invited the Ukrainian leader to his estate in Florida. I can smell a bribe a mile away.” It should be noted that Representative Adam Schitt has had facial surgery because his nose was, “out of joint.”     

Real notes From Fox News: Ratcliffe had asked top U.S. diplomat in Ukraine Bill Taylor about whether Zelensky was aware of any hold on military aid when the July 25 call discussing those probes took place, and Taylor confirmed that he was not. Ratcliffe asserted that this was proof that Trump could not have used the call to pressure Zelensky into investigating the Bidens. Ratcliffe also noted that Trump eventually released the aid without any investigation taking place.

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I will just quote two brief blurbs from America’s favorite muckraking rag. Headline “Analysis: Trump’s core impeachment defense suffers a double blow — including a self-inflicted one Aaron Blake at The Washington Post.”

Quote . . . . But importantly, the readout did reflect the talking points Trump was given ahead of the call. In other words, Trump was told he should talk to Zelensky about corruption … and he didn’t . . . . end quote

What? The President didn’t stick to the script he was handed? Definitely impeachable says Reprehensible Adam Schiff.

And the following. Quote . . . . Republicans spent much of the week complaining about how the people testifying in the impeachment hearings weren’t firsthand witnesses. Well, here was an actual transcript furnished by the White House and a firsthand witness to what Sondland was saying about Trump’s interest in Ukraine. Both suggest Trump wasn’t all that keen on Ukrainian good governance . . . . end quote

Get it? This is first hand, says Reprehensible Adam Schiff . The proof of High Crimes and Misdemeanors? 1) A transcript supplied by the White House. and 2) a guy who heard a guy.

It’s not looking good for the President. It’s looking great! But poor ratings and no new bombshells won’t stop this harassment because that is all The Democrats have. And they can’t seem to find a 21st century JFK before November, 2020, the poor Grinches, but just think how much fun it will be saying, "2020" all the time. Peter

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Just one more? Help me with these lyrics and you will get one cent every time it is played. As sung in my head by Frank Sinatra: In 2020, it was a very good year. For patriots and America, we smiled and shed a tear. It was a very good year. We prospered as the deep state shriveled. Our economy grew and everyone who wanted to work found a job. It was a very good year. Forever wars, a thing of the past. Terrorism neutralized. It was a very good year. 2020. And after all is said and done, soon it will be 2024 and we will have some more fun. It was a very good year when you wake up in the morning and feel optimistic. Give your spouse a biscuit? I don’t know that last line doesn’t sound quite right.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I see Lil Kim called El Presidente an erratic old man. Chill out you dictatorial queen. What happened to you as you grew up?

Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn my back and slam the door

The snow blows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen
The wind is howling like the swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in
Heaven knows I try

Let it go. Let it go. . . . (someday I wish upon a star)
Where the clouds are far behind me
(And wake up where the clouds are far behind me)

All my troubles melt like lemon drops.
Way above the chimney tops, (way above the chimney tops)
That is where you will find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow,
Bluebirds fly.
If birds can fly over the rainbow,
Then why, then why can't I be safe and a good man?

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So far for Christmas we have gotten Boudin’s sourdough, Chukkar chocolate cherries, and a Swiss Colony sampler. Burp. Jokes from AARP. Peter

Jerry: What are you doing? Terry: Heading out to buy some glasses. Jerry: And then what? Terry: I’ll see.

Beth: The defibrillator is broke! Seth: Can’t say that I’m shocked.  

Benny: I’m a mind reader. Jenny: Prove it! Benny: Right now, you think I’m lying.

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I saw a story about an hour ago saying that President Trump, perhaps jokingly, said he should be allowed to serve more than two terms. After all, the democrats are wasting his and everybody else’s time and money over a phony impeachment. How does the crowd pleasing chant, “8 more years, 8 more years sound?” Peter

Tom Murse: . . . Over the years, several lawmakers have proposed repealing the 22nd Amendment. Congressional opponents of the 22nd Amendment argue that it restricts voters from exercising their will. As Democratic U.S. Rep. John McCormack of Massachusetts proclaimed during a debate over the proposal: "The framers of the Constitution considered the question and did not think they should tie the hands of future generations. I don't think we should. Although Thomas Jefferson favored only two terms, he specifically recognized the fact that situations could arise where a longer tenure would be necessary."

One of the most high-profile opponents of the two-term limit for presidents was Republican President Ronald Reagan, who was elected to and served two terms in office. In a 1986 interview with The Washington Post, Reagan lamented the lack of focus on important issues and lame-duck presidents. "I have come to the conclusion that the 22nd Amendment was a mistake," Reagan said. "Shouldn't the people have the right to vote for someone as many times as they want to vote for him? They send senators up there for 30 or 40 years, congressmen the same."

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In about two weeks it will be 2020 and things will get exciting! If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the voters of America to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace, and elect Donald Trump. For my second wish I wish for snow on Christmas but on the day after Christmas it is in the sixties and all the snow has melted. Peter

Notes. Damn. I don’t remember his monologue being so naughty!

Steve Martin: If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.. and the second would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing.. the second would be for the $30 million every month to me.. and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being thing in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, first would be the crap about the kids.. second would be for the $30 million.. the third would be for all the power.. and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina somebody, I can’t think of her name, of course my lovely wife could come, too. She’s behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you.

Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be the first wish! So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got? No, no.. the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. No, no, who am I kidding! I mean, they’re not gonna be able to get all those kids together! I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible! It’s more trouble than it’s worth! So, we reorganize: here we go. First, the sex – we go with that; second, the money. No! We go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids. Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay.. revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in Hell! That would be the fourth wish! And of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony. Thank you, everybody.

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Interwebs are bursting with fun ...


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  • 2 weeks later...

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