Peter Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 Has anyone here worn a Maga hat in public? I just had an offer in my email to buy The Hat, but making "that kind of statement" could be seriously misunderstood by those loonies on the left. Sniff. Can't we all just get along? It reminds me of the kerfuffle over New Balance shoes which are many times simply for older people with wide feet. But the loonies declared that the "N" on the shoes stood for the "n' word and so older Americans were being punched by black thugs . . . for nothing. What about car bumpers with stickers supporting President Trump. Will your car have its windows knocked out or be set on fire? These evil doers should go to prison for a long, long time. Peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 Better than SNL Sometimes Twitter can be better than SNL. For instance: Dumb as a rock? Totally ill prepared and ill equipped? Gaaaaaa! The leftie outrage machine on Twitter explodes. You hired him!... 42 years in charge of Exxon!... Pot/kettle!... Yada yada yada... Then this creeps in. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Now some prime humor with Pelosi. First she says that President Trump's family should stage an intervention on him. But people who live in glass houses should not throw such stones. Nor go up against the best insult master on the planet with phony insinuations and false piety if they are having age difficulties. Pelosi says Trump should suffer an intervention but, clearly, looks like someone who needs it. She walked right into that. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 LOLOLOLOL... Oh, the pain, the pain... Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 LOLOLOLOL... Oh, the pain, the pain... Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 On 9/12/2018 at 4:20 PM, Michael Stuart Kelly said: This has to go into Trump Humor. According to the Editorial Board of the Washington Post, President Trump is one of the causes of Hurricane Florence because he won't blame humans for extreme weather events. Unfortunately, WaPo is hurting for money, even with Bezos footing the bill, so they want you to take a paid subscription in order to read this thing. But the headline says it all. Opinion: Another hurricane is about to batter our coast. Trump is complicit. LOL... They have no idea how stupid they sound. Michael This isn’t humorous, Michael, but Trump was supposed to visit Mexico Beach, Florida last year and went close, but not too close to the beach. That drew some criticism. Yawn. It’s seems to be a slow day. I am watching a Weather Channel special this Saturday at 12:55 pm about hurricane preparedness. The first disturbance with a 50/50 chance of development is off the east coast of Mexico right now. On the Weather Channel a lady from Mexico Beach, Florida found on the top west side of Florida, where they are still suffering from last year’s hurricane Michael, (no Michael, it Was named Hurricane Michael) was talking about her experiences. The beaches are OK and several condos have been rebuilt or fixed. The people are having “insurance problems.” Some are suing the insurance companies for not living up to their commitments. Buyer beware! They now have several stores rebuilt but no gas station which is a huge inconvenience. One interesting “hurricane tip” is to stock your fridge with a lot of bottled water or bags of ice, to keep the contents cold for much longer, and the water may be needed. Fill your bathtubs too and keep a bucket handy to flush your toilets. Did you know you can buy a cord to use your car as a generator, until the gas gives out? At least you will have a few power cords to have lights, etc. I have a small 5000 watt generator, but need more stored gas. Peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
william.scherk Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 Waste of money. Nasty Meghan Markle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 I have a perfect slogan for Sleepy Joe. "Life is 50/50." Quiet! Stop with the catcalls! Life is a toss up for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 This is too delicious. Yesterday, when President Trump was meeting with the Queen of England, the fake news media was lamenting the lack of protests, but projecting this was the case because today the protesting would be ramped up. They would show Trump, that's for sure. They would show him. Well, this happened today: Here is the video of the crime: Looks like it was a pissy little rally anyway. There's just not much enthusiasm in England for protesting President Trump when he is there, I guess. What can one do? Oh dear, oh dear... Throw another milkshake at Farage? Michael 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 Damn, but that was exciting and funny! How did she know the ten person mob wouldn't kill her? What a brave Brit. I love youse guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 This stuff never gets old for me. btw - I don't know why President Trump's tweet is attached. I can't find a way to sever it. Whatever. The Dems relying on a loser pipsqueak like John Dean to take down President Trump if funny as hell in its own regard. Not as funny as them relying on Avenatti, but still good for a har-dee-har-har. Anytime an establishment liberal or conservative gesticulates or oscillates his or her facial aperture with absolute certainty, remember this video. It's not that they're bluffing. It's that they are out of their friggin' minds. The really fun part of "out of their friggin' minds" starts after they are proven wrong, though. Then they go gigantic flying dinosaur shit crazy. (That's like batshit crazy, except there's a whooooooooole lot more of it. Bombs away, here there and everywhere!) Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 IT’S a slow night, so how about a reprint from our own Jerry Henny Youngman Seinfeld, from the time of Clinton? From: PaleoObjectivist To: atlantis Subject: ATL: Fwd: Being a good Democrat Date: Sun, 25 May 2003 01:59:41 EDT Subject: What it Takes to be a Good Democrat Author: KELLY SPEARMAN. 1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. 2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat, than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists. 4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding. 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs. 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural. 7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand. 8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression (think about it), and governments create prosperity. 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of Seattle do. 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. 11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars. 12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution. 13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high. 14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison. 15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racists, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't. 16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady (don't even think about it!). 17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge. 18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House. 19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal. 20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States. 21. You have to believe that this letter is part of a vast right wing conspiracy. Cheers! REB From: PaleoObjectivist To: atlantis Subject: Re: ATL: Re: French humor Date: Wed, 9 Apr 2003 16:40:19 EDT Here's a Jewish one. Enjoy! REB A reporter goes to Israel to cover the fighting. She is looking for something emotional and positive and of human interest. Something like that guy in Sarajevo who risked his life to play the Cello everyday in the town square. In Jerusalem, she heard about an old Jew who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, very day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She goes to the Wailing Wall and there he is! She watches him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turns to leave, she approaches him for an interview. "Rebecca Smith, CNN News. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying?" "For about 50 years." "What do you pray for?" "For peace between the Jews and the Arabs. For all the hatred to stop. For all of our children to grow up in safety and friendship." "How do you feel after doing this for 50 years?" "Like I'm talking to a fucking wall." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Jerry? What Ma? Shouldn’t you be rehearsing your comedy act for the club tonight? Ah, Ma. Do I hafta? You should listen to your Mama, Jerry. Do some Bill Dwyer and Georgie. From: "William Dwyer" To: Atlantis Subject: ATL: Pocohantus theorem? Date: Wed, 25 Jul 2001 23:38:55 -0700 Mike, help me out here! Three Indian squaws had babies. The first sat on a deer hide and had a five pound boy; the second sat on a moose hide and had a six-pound boy; and the third sat on a hippopotamus hide and had an eleven pound boy. Does this prove that the son of the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides? Bill "She offered her honor. He honored her offer. It was honor and offer all night." From George Hamilton Smith. Ghs to his admirers. THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES/ During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French Bread. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition – even if you haven't been carrying any before now. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. The Chief of Police is always black. Most dogs are immortal. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat them. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Just one more. From: "Gayle Dean" To: "Atlantis" Subject: ATL: Fw: Changing symbols in our nation's capitol... Date: Fri, 30 Aug 2002 19:12:04 -0400 Subject: Fw: Changing symbols in our nation's capitol... Government is changing its emblem... The government announced today that it is changing its emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects the government's political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually getting screwed. From: PaleoObjectivist To: atlantis Subject: ATL: Re: Kuhn Date: Thu, 26 Sep 2002 11:48:47 EDT In my never-ending research on family history, I sometimes uncover intriguing, amusing, heartwarming, etc. facts about other clans, and there is one I just can't resist passing along to my fellow (and gal) Atlanteans about Thomas Kuhn and his relatives... It seems that the "Worldwide" Kuhn Family (as some rather more self-conscious tribes are wont to refer to themselves) decided over two centuries ago to have everyone don distinctive headwear at their family gatherings. It recently came to light that Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett were members of this clan, as evidenced by their habitual wearing of Kuhns Kin caps. Best 2 all, Roger Bissell From: PaleoObjectivist To: atlantis Subject: ATL: (humor) pun intended Date: Tue, 14 Jan 2003 00:52:37 EST/ A backward poet writes inverse. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. Sea captains don't like crew cuts. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat miner. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. The man who fell into the upholstery machine is fully recovered. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. Every calendar's days are numbered. A lot of money is tainted; it taint yours and it taint mine. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. He had a photographic memory that was never developed. A plateau is a high form of flatter. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. Acupuncture is a jab well done. The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself. Roger E. Bissell, musician-writer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Letendre Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 2 hours ago, Michael Stuart Kelly said: This stuff never gets old for me. btw - I don't know why President Trump's tweet is attached. I can't find a way to sever it. Whatever. The Dems relying on a loser pipsqueak like John Dean to take down President Trump if funny as hell in its own regard. Not as funny as them relying on Avenatti, but still good for a har-dee-har-har. Anytime an establishment liberal or conservative gesticulates or oscillates his or her facial aperture with absolute certainty, remember this video. It's not that they're bluffing. It's that they are out of their friggin' minds. The really fun part of "out of their friggin' minds" starts after they are proven wrong, though. Then they go gigantic flying dinosaur shit crazy. (That's like batshit crazy, except there's a whooooooooole lot more of it. Bombs away, here there and everywhere!) Michael Yeah, Avenatt then Dean It is a symptom of the certainty of this task’s outcome — only those who have no future anyway should be wasted on a job like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 LOL... Carpe Donks 'em again: The Magic Wand of Trump... Michael 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I got nothing. Trump. Trump. When you get old you forget what you were going to say. Hmmm. I redid my driver’s license today. They wanted to see my Army discharge paper DD214 so they could put “Veteran” on it. And they needed to see and duplicate my birth certificate, driver’s registration, and proof of insurance supposedly so no one can ever again get a fake driver’s license. It was a long wait without an appointment, about an hour and a half, but now that’s done for another 8 years. And I will get a new license with holographic images of my face on it, and I should come out looking like a face on Mount Rushmore. We have a local pizzeria called Fox’s and their motto is “From our den to your den.” We ordered a large one tonight and it was very good, half plain and half pepperoni. Oh, yeah. Now I remember the other thing but not the Trump thing. They call Rehoboth Beach, Delaware which is Biden territory, “The Gay Mecca.” Hey Laurence? How do Arabs dance in Rehoboth? Sheik to Sheik. Kids are told that although there is a Rehobeth, Maryland on the Eastern Shore, the Delaware town is spelled “Rehoboth.” Always say to yourself before writing, there is a hobo in Rehoboth. Peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 Now that Sarah Huckabee Sanders is stepping down as Press Secretary, time to revive a great idea. From the Babylon Bee, dated June 20th, 2017: Trump Picks Alex Jones As New Press Secretary Quote WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Sean Spicer’s abrupt resignation Friday morning, President Donald Trump has chosen InfoWars chief and renowned conspiracy theorist Alex Jones as the new Press Secretary, the White House announced. The fiery Jones wasted no time getting in front of the cameras, holding his inaugural press conference shortly after the announcement. “I am the new Press Secretary!” he bellowed in his distinct Texas growl at all the reporters present, occasionally taking a handkerchief out of his pocket to dab perspiration from his red face. “AAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHH!” he continued, beating his chest like a gorilla. “We’re comin’ for ya globalists! 1776 will commence, you wicked, wicked devils!” he added, before mumbling something about gay frogs. Press Secretary Jones concluded the conference early, dismissing every person in the room after announcing that only InfoWars and Breitbart reporters would be allowed to attend press events from this point forward. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 Cute... Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 What’s that? It tastes salty. What the . . .? It’s a tear and I could just cry. Peter Israeli Town Named After Trump Appears to be Fake News By TPM Staff June 16, 2019 11:24 pm The founding of the town of “Trump Heights” (Ramat Trump) was greeted with great fanfare. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and American Ambassador David Friedman held a deluxe ceremony to celebrate the new town in the Golan Heights which President Trump officially recognized as part of Israel earlier this year. Trump himself thanked Israel for the honor in a celebratory tweet. But according to an article in the Israeli daily Ha’aretz and multiple reports in the Israeli press, it’s more Potemkin village than Trump Heights. No actual town or village has actually been founded at all. It appears to be little more than a PR stunt to curry favor with the President who continues to openly support Netanyahu as the country moves toward new elections in September. No money has been budgeted for the new town. Nor is there specific location. Indeed, there’s no commitment to build a town at all. The decision will be left to the government that takes power after the next election. In the words of Israeli journalist Barak Ravid: “A settlement by the name of “Trump Heights” or “Ramat Trump” doesn’t exist. It my exist in the future but the Israeli cabinet still hasn’t even decided to do it. For now there’s only a sign.“ The head of the Golan caucus in the Israeli Knesset, Zvi Hauser went even further: “Anyone who reads the fine print of the ‘historic’ decision understands that this is a conceptual decision. There is no funding. There is no planning. There is no location and there is really no committed decision.” The ceremony seems to be an effort to further burnish the current government’s bond with President Trump who loves nothing more than a ribbon cutting ceremony with his name is shiny gold lettering. The decision to build a town may be taken later. Or it may never happen at all . . . . I cut out the cut at the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 From the Reader’s Digest. The knight who was afraid to fight? Sir Render. The undercover knight? Sir Veillance. The knight who always guessed right? Sir miser. The knight who showed up unexpectedly. Sir Prise. The knight who drank too much? Sir Rhosis. The dancing knight? Sir Prance-a-Lot. The loudest knight of all? Sir Roundsound. The foul mouthed knight? Sir Cuss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 One more from RD. I saw how ships are made. Riveting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 The anti-Trump left, in other words, the gang that can't shoot straight, can't even get accusing President Trump of rape right. I swear, you couldn't script the video below better for comedy. LOL... Here's a BitChute link in case that goes down from YouTube (which is happening a lot these days when the establishment cronies get busted and/or embarrassed). https://www.bitchute.com/video/JDWxtUbIGj9t/ First she complains that Trump didn't ravish her. Instead, it hurt. Then Anderson Cooper mentioned that most people think of rape as violence anyway. Crazy lady said, no, most people think rape is sexy. Cooper, we gotta go, like nooooooow... Crazy lady, I mean, think of the fantasies... Cooper, we're going for real... stick around and we'll talk on the other side... Crazy lady then hits on Cooper. That is some fine screenwriting. Pure mastery. And all in 37 seconds. Except it was real. Dayaamm! LOL... Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Since Anderson Cooper is gay I wonder what sort of encounter those two could have that would be fulfilling to both participants? I could not detect if she was spoofing but I don't plan on re-seeing the video. Did anyone else pick up on the actual nature of that interview? Another gripe with Cooper and other gays? I just saw an "Entertainment Weekly" article with him in it about celebrity gays. They must obsess about being gay. I don't sit around thinking about my sexuality but they do. Gay blades, Queer Dears? Think of something else to define yourself. I am watching season 3 of "Designated Survivor" on Net Flix. Now that it is off the major networks the characters say the F word and the sex is more real. I like the show better now, because the writing is better and more realistic. On the show one character used to be a man but has "transitioned" to be a woman. She is in a lady's room when a "natural woman" recognizes her and realizes "she" is a man. The lady has a fit and calls the cops. Whenever a person who has transitioned from a man to a woman is depicted in Hollywood they always have a woman play the transformed man. I don't think a natural women has much of an Adam's apple and they have to get the woman actress to speak in a deeper voice. It must be a rule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Now for the real funny part: The mainstream news media pretending to be news. ABC, CBS Omit Trump Accuser Describing Rape as 'Sexy' to Anderson Cooper Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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