CNA

Hi, William I am CNA, aka, Angie. I'm amazed that somehow my name was mentioned in this and I have a few ideas why it was. I'm so far out of the loop on this. I'm not keeping track of it because quite honestly it doesn't affect my life in any way. I do not know any of the parties nor have I read most of their work, with the exception of a few tid bits here and there as well as hearing quite a bit on OL about the different actions and choices on all ends of the chaos. But nevertheless my name was still brought up. And I'm a little curious as to what the real reasons were for bringing my name into it in the first place. I've been told a number of reasons that are probably the correct ones but still brought up as the "alleged" newbie and I was scared away. That conclusion is way off track as a few know all too well. But anyway.... But at any rate, I'm just over here kickin' it, Living My Life no matter what goes on amongst the others in the O'ist world. Angie

Damn straight, Rich......It would take one HUGE ass can of whup-ass to scare me. And even if they attempted, I'd laugh in their faces. You know it as well as I do !! //;-))

Hi, Mike. LMAO...that's what I was told by a few today after finding out that my name was brought up. I was told that they were looking for fresh meat to convert over similar to hardcore religion and also traffic to their site amongst other little goodies that I was told, plus my own personal opinion regarding that which some heard about.....WOW.....trucker's mouth on me....LOL Yes, they would have a very difficult time, if not impossible, to convert me, I'm too strong willed, too strong minded to fall for it. LOL....it wasn't so much luck, they just broke the mold with my family and a lot of people I was around at that time.....my family took the cake, the icing, the candles, the ice cream, the banners, the balloons...what the hell, the whole damn shebang on that one...LOL Boy, do I have some stories I could tell you....but look back on it now and laugh believe it or not......oh, the insanity of it all. But yeah, definitely got out of it, put my foot down and told it like it was and said, c-ya, kiss my big butt. Angie

I found it interesting today after I was told by someone that my name was brought up in it. What the hell did I do to get mentioned in all this? I was given a possible reason. But you can't be friggin' serious.....absolutely amazing I went to look at the profiles of these so called O'ists and what I saw, pix, etc., these are a bunch of kids talking out their butts. How old are these people anyway? To me, they lack serious credibility. Me personally I would never ever engage in anything with them. I would never give them the satisfaction of MY TIME. But I can understand the reasons why others may want to ask questions, etc. For me, I'm so far out of the loop. I don't know any of these people, etc., so it would be silly to become involved in it but nevertheless my name was still brought up...amazing.

Hi, Paul I agree. It's not all about hormones. I never once had the motherhood "urge" so to speak to have kids. I never felt the biological clock is just tickin' away. For me, it was just the thought of "wanting" a family eventually. Even after making it permanent, I still have never had the "urge" to have more kids. But that's just me and I'm as woman as you can get. But I do agree with you, I don't think it's all about hormones. Congrats, Aaron, on the anniversary !! Must be splendid !! Angie

Hi, Fran It's a big decision to have kids or not. For me, I wasn't planning on having kids for a while. There were so many things I wanted to do before deciding to have a family. Plus, I'm very selfish. I know many women that do not have kids and they don't regret the decision they made. In fact, most seem extremely happy. They have the freedom to come and go whenever they want. Whereas, I know quite a few women that have had many kids due to pressure from family, etc., and they caved to that pressure. I was subjected to this as well from my husband's family mostly. They all have large families. And it was quite irritating that they wouldn't drop the subject after telling them I didn't want anymore kids. But once they realized they couldn't budge me towards their direction, they dropped it finally. The women I do know that have large families, when talking with them about my decision to stay with just one child, I have actually found by watching them when talking about it, their unhappiness. They ask me why I decided to only have one child and I always tell them that I'm too selfish. There's too many things I want to do in MY LIFE that I wouldn't be able to do if I had 3 or 4 kids. With Two, I would probably be able to still do them but it would be more difficult. For me, I'm too much of a free spirit. I love to be able to come and go without having to worry about babysitters or dividing my time up. Plus, their is a financial burden when you have many kids. For some, even just one can be too much financially. I know many, many many women that are single parents. Dad flaked out on them and they are miserable. I've talked to many and they all have come back with the answer, if I knew it was going to be like this, I wouldn't have had kids. But I will say this, even though I'm selfish with MY TIME, I'm so happy I had Christopher when I did. He is my baby and it has been a joy to watch him grow, joy to watch him ask so many questions about life, joy to watch him form his own beliefs and opinions, joy to watch him make so many discoveries and to see the eagerness and adventure on his face. Even though there are many things I still have planned, my goals, it's not a burden for me with one child. I find it funny because we are practically inseparable. I'm selfish and so is he. I know it would be WWIII in my house if I had another child. Chris loves to have mommy's time and there is no sharing with others. In fact, as he has gotten older and understanding more, we enjoy so much more; such as, getting in the car, windows rolled down, some good music going, both of us are free spirited, head down to the beach and we always have a blast. If his cousin Kala who is 9 is with us, it's so much more fun, all free spirited and a bunch of kids, including me !! Or the memories of dancing in the living room with Chris in my arms and he's just laughing and laughing with a huge smile on his face. We still dance sometimes in the living room. Too big to carry now but he does his thing. He will need some serious dancing lessons though as he gets older. LOL When I watch him dancing while I'm dancing, I just can't stop laughing because it's so cute. So I will say this: I didn't want any kids for a while and Chris was an accident. But I DO NOT regret having him. He's been an absolute joy for me. Yeah, it is very difficult in the beginning, oh, boy, very difficult but it gets easier as they get older and they are so much fun, at least at this age he is. I'm sure when he gets older and more independent, his friends, I'm sure he'll say, mom, you're a dork or you embarrass me, etc.......LOL but that's okay. I'm expecting it. But I will say this: I will not have anymore kids. One is more than enough for me and I DO NOT regret making that decision and making it permanent to not have anymore kids. For me, I'm so grateful for making that decision in a number of ways. Being a soon to be single mom, I won't have a problem with one child, you know, day care, being 100 percent financially responsible for him, etc. I'll be okay with one and still have extra money left over. But grateful I don't have 3 or 4 kids, that would be so difficult. I've got my 1 baby and that is all I need. He is my baby and he has been an absolute JOY. Good luck with the decision, Fran. It's not an easy one to make. Angie

I'm tickled pink !! Thank you very much Jody and LW and Michael for the words of encouragement !! And ecstatic that I've inspired any one of you on OL !! Thank you to everyone else that posted or sent private messages. Maybe one of these days we could all get together and have a big ass party; a party where the people are better, the food is better, the beer and drinks are better, and the conversation is phenomenal. A party of CELEBRATING life for what it truly means and what it represents to each of us !! We are the fighters for what is RIGHT !! Angie

This post is for LW, Roger, Myself, my Father and Anyone else on OL who have drawn and understood this critical realization and conclusion that takes precedence over most others. These are the men I pass judgment on in the present in a very good way !! These are the men that drew this conclusion on their own and it is a very heavy one to draw. These are the men that take 100 percent responsibility for their actions and their choices that they make in their lives and are thriving and flourishing because of it. They've chosen to make it work for them rather than against them. If I ever see any of you on the street, I will tip my hat in your direction with much respect and much admiration with the mutual understanding of what we've accomplished !! We have the utmost independence and that kind of independence will only lead to the ultimate FREEDOM and HAPPINESS !! You are the men I judge in the present and support you because you will always make good on your actions and choices !! On the roads we've ultimately come to and have chosen to take, WE walk LIGHTER and definitely TALLER because of it, no more weight to bear !! Much respect and admiration Angie

Here is an Autism test to find out how you score and if you have traits of being autistic. It's not to give a diagnosis but many of the questions are interesting. I can definitely relate, especially to social aspects, etc. But I myself also have an interesting past with certain issues; such as, I rarely talked until I was almost 4, very little speech pattern. I talked but not much. Around 4 years old, I just exploded on the scene and couldn't get me to be quiet and using words well advanced for my age amongst other interesting aspects of it. But I'm not autistic. Here is the site to go and take the test. It's not long, 50 questions, easy to get through. http://www.msnbc.com/modules/newsweek/autism_quotient/

This realization, I agree, is paramount and is a very heavy one to draw. Most people never realize it. Unfortunately my mother and sister are still travelling that road to destruction and vacuous state. Even when people hit serious rock bottom, they still don't realize it. They realize bits and pieces but never draw the entire picture within their sight. My mother has hit rock bottom numerous times due to extreme destructive behavior. This last time no one stepped up to help and she ultimately also went homeless and was very angry that no one would help her. My sister is even more destructive than my mother but has managed to stave off hitting bottom. She is so far entrenched in it she will more than likely never realize it. But due to my mother also going homeless, she also came to some heavy conclusions. She has been sober for a few years, back in school, and doing what is best for her and not others. But she has thrown herself into religion. She may never realize it but she is trying. For me, I came to a lot of very heavy conclusions before the age of 18. Out of my entire family, I was the only sane one and smart enough to see it for what it truly was. I never hit rock bottom but lived embroiled in all of that until 18 as well as my own destructive behavior at that time. But when I finally saw cold hard reality for what it truly was, I left in pursuit of my own life, a life that was mine and no one else's and no one had a right to it. After leaving, I got back into school, completed 3 years of high school in about 7 to 8 months, valedictorian. Took a month off and went straight into college where I stayed for 6 years, extremely determined to succeed. So many times I was exhausted but never gave up. I refused to give up. When I got so tired of pushing ahead and tempted to give up, all I had to do was think about everything I had seen, all the heavy conclusions I had drawn about those around me, and that was drive enough to keep pushing forward. I swore I would never ever go back to that life again. And until this day, I've never returned to it. It's now become impossible to return to it. I've been through too much and have seen too much. Out of all the pain, sweat, tears, perseverance, discipline, etc., the end results are tremendous and well worth the struggle. For me, I've completed what I set out for myself. Now it is just to sit back, relax with a big fat bank account, a big ass smile on my face, enjoying the moment while so many run by in such a hurry to get nowhere, so many wasted years running. Now I'm just sitting back ENJOYING what it is I have found. I'm thrilled you enjoyed my post and thank you. Angie

I'm just playing with ideas and thoughts as usual. This goes back to Mike's posts and have been thinking about them. I enjoy reading everyone's thoughts because it offers me new material to pick apart and think about. There's several aspects in this one. The first one is past, present, and future. I agree with Mike's post that a man's past to an extent will determine how well he deals with high pressure, stressful situations and if he ultimately cracks under that pressure. First though what I am thinking about today is this: His past explains: Why he is and who he is and what he is in the present. His choices he has made up to this point of his life in the present determines what he values in the present and how his life has ultimately turned out. My dad was a good example and also points to the choices he made then was indicative of what he valued. Then he valued destruction, pain, and death. He knew full well what he was doing and why he was doing it; ie, "trying" to make me believe he was truly incapable of sustaining his own life and that I should pity and feel guilt for him and it worked at that time. Make a man feel guilty and he can get you to do whatever he wants with you. Until one day, I saw it for what it truly was and what his true intentions were of playing that game. His present explains: The road he has traveled to get to where he is in the present and is indicative of the quality of choices he has ultimately made and what he truly values now. In the present, he values life, happiness, success, productivity, money, and independence, etc. His future: Since I know what he values in the present, his future choices will be more aligned with what he values now. Rather than destroying himself as he once did in the past and knowing that difficult road he travelled and saw, his choices he makes will be choices in order to sustain his life, stay productive, keep moving, independence, etc. After travelling that hard road, who wants to go back to it. I travelled that extremely hard road once and I definitely don't want to go back to it again. My choices I make now will be more aligned with what I value which is life, independence, happiness, productivity, etc. But as I know very well and some others know, we can still make choices that will not align with what we truly value. The other one I'm thinking about today is this: The man that cracks under pressure or in a stressful situation is the man that lacks the confidence in himself and the competence in dealing with reality as it is presented to him. When he cracks under that pressure, this is his coping mechanism in order to deal with reality. It is his evasion of it. He's too much ruled by his emotions rather than by his mind so he cracks under that pressure of having to deal with reality. The man that keeps his cool is the man that is confident in his own ability to think the situation through and deal with it appropriately. This is the man that knows he is competent to deal with reality as it is presented to him and to solve the problem and move on. This is the man that is ruled by his mind. When presented with a high pressure situation or stressful situation, he is able to cope with reality. Hmmmm.....interesting for me to think about and sure I will think about this one more and will pick it apart even more. I really do love to think, it can be such a rush sometimes....LOL I knew there was something else I wanted to post about but so tired then and couldn't stay focused long enough. The only thing I wanted then was sleep. But these are some of my thoughts that I'm playing with and wanted to post and sure I will think about them more. Also I'm sure the more I think about this there will be clarifications of something or other. Angie

Hi, Kat. Chris was dxd with autism spectrum disorder not otherwise specified, same as your baby. We've talked briefly about this before. But for the life of me could not remember the lady's name. I started to flip through the article and saw the name and it really rung a bell. I've seen so many shows on her but never could remember her name. So I came home and did a little more research and this is the lady I was telling you about so long ago. I have one other book that I personally have but loaned it out and also can't remember the name again. But will try to get it back from her. This book wasn't listed but it is a great book for high functioning autistics. There are so many famous autistics out there, it's amazing. Bill Gates is one of them. High functioning typically are highly intelligent but lack social awareness. They're very self-absorbed type of people which I find that interesting. Not otherwise specified is basically symptoms or traits if you will that spans the entire spectrum of the disorder. They can't nail it down to just one specific catagory. These people typically will show one or two symptoms in one catagory and then show 5 in another and then show 1 in another, they just can't pinpoint it down. It just spans the entire disorder. Unfortunately, some high functioning autistics sometimes will regress at any point in time. They may be a productive genius as I've read so many times and literally they regress which is so sad. But they do the best they can. Definitely read that article, so very interesting and hopefully will get that book and post the name of it soon. Angie

It took me forever but finally figured out who the lady was that is autistic and has written many books regarding autism from her perspective of it rather than outsiders, doctors, etc., observing her and their trying to figure out what she is doing and why. This is an amazing lady. I have watched many programs on her. I'm including other books as well from other Autistic authors writing about their own struggle with it and living with it on a daily basis. A few of these authors including Temple Grandin are doctors themselves. Author: Temple Grandin Books: Thinking in Pictures: and other Reports from My Life with Autism Emergence: Labeled Autistic Animals in Translation: Using the mysteries of Autism to decode animal behavior. Author: Sue Rubin Documentary: Autism is a World Author: Judith Bluestone Book: The Fabric of Autism Author: Kamran Nazeer Book: Send in the Idiots

Mike, yes, my dad is a very good man or men maybe....LOL No, he's wonderful and I admire him greatly for the choices he has made in wanting to help himself and making his life productive, happy, and successful !! Roger, that made me laugh about the MPD in reference to Mike's post. If how I took your post to mean is correct, maybe not, your point is very well taken in regards to cycling back and forth regarding interests. I'm just wanting to weed through all the BS and wanting to cut to the chase in regards to some things I've read, just wanted the evidence to understand why and if it was justified and rational to form those conclusions and definitely got an earful or eyeful should say. I was provided with some great links that spoke volumes. Aaron, thank you for the links you've also put up. I'm glad to hear some type of praise for ARI, although have been told that their lectures and books are still of value intellectually. So thank you Angie

Hi, Mike Nothing like another late night working...it is never ending for me and always so busy. But figure before I head out and go to bed finally, I might as well post. Rereading your post, that was the only thing I wanted to make more clear and I posted that clarification in that one post I put up. But there was something I wanted to clarify in regard to my father but so late now for me that I've drawn a complete brain freeze. Oh, well. Maybe tomorrow if I get good rest and have time. Ange

Wow, I've read all the links and floored by what I read. That's the biggest damn contradiction if I've ever seen it...CONTROL, DURESS, FORCE, completely against what the philosophy is all about. Wow, something seriously went awry someplace along the road. How unfortunate of what I've read in those links. I haven't heard much good so far about ARI. Is there anything good about them aside from their lectures and books? I've read so much negativity about them but that comes from some key people and surprised at what I've read. Thank you, DF, for providing those links, serious eye opener about ARI and sheds a lot of light, very much appreciated. More later I'm sure. Mike, more later as well

Robert, Oh, I'm floored, totally speechless, oh, total control freak, no right to free speech or to express any ideas of your own that might fall outside her philosophy or that may be critical of her philosophy. Hell, I agree with many aspects of it but not all of it. I'm not an art buff, I'm not into classical music but conclusions for the most part are the same, as long as it guides your personal life is where it is at and where it counts the most. Also as Roger says it is a tool for living. What the hell is that all about? I'm disgusted. Then if that's the case, yeah, BITE ME at least in regard to that list. I gotta read that again. Wow, double wow, surprised, and at a loss for words, and disappointed.

btw, I seriously suck the big one at spelling sometimes. You would think in my line of profession I'd be a little more aware of that...LOL

Hi, Mike. Yeah, and I'll get the damn quote thing going eventually.....LOL But here is what you said. I believe you should judge a person by his past, present and future, all to the right degree. For example, a person who has had a soft life will tend to snap under pressure. One who has had a hard life will tend to be harder to fool, making him a good source of advice. For me, all of these point to the present and how they are in the present. For me, I can tell when I need a shovel to dig out of the bullshit they're laying out when talking to them in the present. Versus the man who has had a hard life will tell it like it is. I generally can tell when someone has been through some serious shit just by watching his demeanor, listening to what he says or reading what he says, etc. I've found that they don't pull many punches. For me when it comes to their past, when they are willing to correct their actions, admit their mistakes, learn from it, have it work for them rather than against them, and take the steps and actions to becoming a better person; ie, how he is in the present, I don't hold his past against him. But for me, this still points to judging in the present rather than judging him according to his past actions. A good example is my father, I have forgiven him because he owned up to his mistakes, realized what he did was wrong, took responsibility for his actions, learned and grew from it, and apologized. He took the blame that was rightfully his and admitted it. He then turned around and chose to make it work for him rather than against him. Rather than being a man dependent on his daughter (me) to help him survive and refused to take responsibility for his own life and expected me to give up my future for the sake of his, dropped out of highschool 3 times because of it, then my making the decision to leave knowing he would go homeless which he did and was brutal on me, but it was cold hard reality rearing its ugly head directly at him, he was given a choice, a very hard choice at that, his ultimate choice was to get his shit together and to not let it destroy him. He has now become very successful because of that decision he made, owns 2 businesses and he is my father that I admire greatly because of it. I support him in his decisions and willing to help him with it because I know he will make good on his part. This is the type of man I will forgive. This is the man I judge in the present rather than judging him on his past. This is the man who made the choice to accept responsibility for his life. This is the man that realized that no one else can be responsible for his actions and his choices but himself. This is the man that is now my father and I have forgiven him for his past actions. The man that he was in the past is not the man he is now in the present. For me, I can't judge a man on what he might be in the future. There are choices that haven't been made yet, some frivolous, some critical that will ultimately determine his character. For me, I base my judgment on that man as he is in the present and what he values. I just wanted to clarify that a little bit better. Even though we may not agree or just needed clarification, that's okay. There's still respect. We are both the owners of our own mind. Each of our roads we've travelled through life may be similar or quite different or one harder than the other but we draw our own conclusions based on the evidence at hand and our own beliefs and values. But I'm sure, I'll clarify something sooner or later regarding these posts. I'm always very conscious of making sure that what I'm intending to say is clear and there aren't any misunderstandings. There are a few other things I wanted to say about your first post though but running out of time now but will later. Don't know when I can but will eventually. Angie

Thank you everyone for the posts and pointing me in a direction where I can get some good insight. I've looked on the internet but not always easy to find. I don't deal with ARI and honestly don't want to. I'm very heavily dependent on my own mind and don't want others attempting to drill their ideas into my head which seems to be in so many posts I've read elsewhere that THEY THINK in order to be an O'ist you have to accept every aspect of her philosophy. Oh, boy, do I know otherwise as some on here know already. Same conclusions but it seems the way they present it you have to accept every aspect of it in order to be considered an O'ist which I find to be absurd. I'm looking for more information and evidence before drawing my conclusion. Don't get me wrong, don't mind listening to other people's view, etc., new evidence, new way of thinking and I actually invite it. I've just read some places that when these people have gone to ARI they walk out of their feeling "brainwashed." I found that interesting when I read it. I very much agree with Jenna. I've never been a hero worshipper. After what I've been through and have seen, my only HERO is myself. I've read few books about her philosophy. For me personally, I've done pretty well integrating it, building my own self-esteem, drawing my own very accurate conclusions, etc., without any outside help from AR or any other book. So I'm doing a pretty damn good job as it is. I don't mind reading but I'm too strong minded to be sucked into any irrationality. Also in regards to a statement Jenna made and I find running so rampant everywhere, Not one man should be judged on his past. He should only be judged on his actions and values in the present. You are so correct, Jenna. We all change, some for the better, some for the worse, just as long as we are willing to correct our mistakes and make it work for us rather than against us. For me personally, I get to know them first and their actions and then make that judgement. It's all about the present in so many ways when it comes to her philosophy !! I'm hoping Roger responds to this thread. I would be very interested to hear what he has to say regarding this. But thank you so much to everyone for posting and pointing me in a good direction to get info. So much info to check out Angie

I don't know much about ARI but have read much negativity regarding that issue. Have been told much privately about the ARI and I'm curious as to why everyone's passing such harsh judgement on them. I'm lacking words today so bear with me....LOL I know for myself I do pass judgement on people as we all do. But I get to know them first and how they are as a person, their actions, etc., before making a final conclusion as to their character. I've read so much and have seen people jumping on the band wagon and joining the crowd to beat someone down before they know all the facts. Or just their ignorance and fear towards the unknown and what they don't understand; such as, the gay bashing I've seen on some sites. They are quick to the trigger and shoot them down before getting to know them as a person which I find horrifying and so uncharacteristic of being a true O'ist. I have and had many friends and also have 2 family members that swing both ways as well as an aunt that is gay and a future stepbrother who is also gay. I've found that these people are the sweetest I've known. If anything, before they jump the gun, take the time to sit back and ask a lot of questions. You just might learn a lot. But passing judgement, for me, doesn't mean it has to be harsh. Like I said, I've passed judgement on everyone I've known but pass that judgement once I get to know them and their actions first. The few that I've been talking with privately from OL, I've passed judgement on them and they know it, I've told them, but it's all good. Even though we may or may not have the same views or beliefs, they are truly good people, true and sincere and I admire that greatly. One thing I've learned and going through it myself and walking that extremely difficult road as some on here know, one thing it taught me about being a true O'ist is this: You are not quick to the trigger. You are not quick to pass judgement. Yes, you see a lot and some of it is truly horrifying to witness. But the ultimate result is for myself as well as Neil, another true O'ist, I know for a fact, you are not quick to judge and not quick to anger. You get to know them first before you pass that ultimate judgement. Some deserve harsh judgement and should be kicked to the curb quickly. I'm not denying that. I've done it myself numerous times unfortunately just as I'm sure many others have. To each their own. Eventually what you reap is what you will sow But back to the original question and reason for this post: Why are so many people down on ARI? What have they done to deserve such harsh criticism? But like I said, I know very little about ARI so I cannot pass judgement but have read much negativity. Just wanting to know everyone's experience with them so far. Angie

Roger, >Associated Scholars Seeking to Halt Objectivism's Looming Encroachment in Society (ASSHOLES). I just can't stop laughing, oh, that's just wonderful. Your whole post is just utterly hilarious. Way to go, Roger. I really enjoyed that one !! Angie

hehehehehehehehe =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~ =P~

Mike, thank you for the post and link. I'll check it out. Jenna, glad to see you seem to be feeling better. Keep it up, girl, you'll be fine. You're a very courageous and heroic lady !!

That's it. I had to post. Benjamin Bratt and Adrien Brody and Brad Pitt ta boot....I"M DYIN' RIGHT NOW !! Who do I pick....Pitt as Galt, I think Galt just went on the back burner.........DAMN, that would be so AWESOME !! Chick flick all the way for me now, no men allowed when viewing this movie. LOL To have 3 drop dead gorgeous men all in one movie would be too much for one woman to take, although the entire audience would be all women drooling....LMAO, me included !! OHMIGOD, I can only hope....PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. I've been good, I promise. LOL I apologize if anyone is offended over my drooling. //;-)) But I'm sure there would be many woman out there in my same position !! Those are great suggestions, Jonathan. Thank you