Bob the straight man eh?

[BaalChatzaf]

You want to see a straight man? Have a look at this Onion video. The Autistic Reporter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D04wb7P_v-4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=D04wb7P_v-4#t=32

Now you know what my childhood was like

[PDS]

Pretty hilarious, Bob. Thanks for posting, and running with the joke.

You do know the Onion videos are intended as satire, right?

[BaalChatzaf]

Pretty hilarious, Bob. Thanks for posting, and running with the joke.

You do know the Onion videos are intended as satire, right?

Yes. I know that. But based on my own personal experience and my contact with other auties and aspies the Onion satire has got it very accurately nailed. I have met and spoken with people like "the Autistic Reporter" and when I was younger I was somewhat like that. In the past three decades or so, I have trained myself to display Normal behavior to others. I have done this primarily to make my life easier. I married a Normal and all but one of my children are Normal. So for peace at home I learned to "pass" for human. Eventually I began to actually see the world as Normals see it, but this did not come "instinctively" to me. Normals have the ability to read "other people's minds" by the age of five. I wasn't able to do it until I was past thirty. Now I am good at it but I had to acquire the knack empirically. I learned to behave and comprehend Normals like one learns to do art "painting by the numbers". For example I head to read a text book on facial expressions and various moods to comprehend "face talk" I also had to read up on body language so I could interpret what other people were thinking or feeling by their posture etc. etc. Most children have this nailed completely by the age of ten.

Ba'al Chatzaf

[Selene]

Most children have this nailed completely by the age of ten.

Ba'al Chatzaf

Well put.

I did not fully understand until you mentioned the "face talking" and kinesics.

Thanks

[Mikee]

You can never seem exactly "normal" due to the extra processing time. I see people I know perfectly well, I can't immediately greet them by name because it takes a few seconds to process. They say "Hi Mike!", I say "Hey", or "Hi", and several seconds later "...Bob". Really hard to change the focus from what I was thinking about to small talk. Working in a building with more than 50 co-workers I find a bit trying sometimes. I learned how to read body language during my almost twenty years of martial arts training. I learned as a child that people are mostly not literal in the things they say. I was deeply offended, I thought everybody was a liar most of the time. I still think people mostly don't believe the things they say, with a couple of notable exceptions. It has served me well. I worked hard for years trying to figure out by the way a person said something whether they were lying or not. Barack Obama is the most obvious liar I've ever heard. The very first time I heard him speak I was astonished that anyone, absolutely anyone, could believe a word he was saying. The way he bites off the last word of every sentence is like a punch to the face to me.

[Selene]

You can never seem exactly "normal" due to the extra processing time. I see people I know perfectly well, I can't immediately greet them by name because it takes a few seconds to process. They say "Hi Mike!", I say "Hey", or "Hi", and several seconds later "...Bob". Really hard to change the focus from what I was thinking about to small talk. Working in a building with more than 50 co-workers I find a bit trying sometimes. I learned how to read body language during my almost twenty years of martial arts training. I learned as a child that people are mostly not literal in the things they say. I was deeply offended, I thought everybody was a liar most of the time. I still think people mostly don't believe the things they say, with a couple of notable exceptions. It has served me well. I worked hard for years trying to figure out by the way a person said something whether they were lying or not. Barack Obama is the most obvious liar I've ever heard. The very first time I heard him speak I was astonished that anyone, absolutely anyone, could believe a word he was saying. The way he bites off the last word of every sentence is like a punch to the face to me.

We should start a "kinesics" thread.

I watch people's eyes a lot. Even passing someone on the street, I will look at their eyes. Their body language shifts almost imperceptably as they engage.

You can get a smile, a nod of the head, or, good morning, etc. The fact that you choose to make eye contact allows them to engage with you at some level.

A...

[BaalChatzaf]

You can never seem exactly "normal" due to the extra processing time. I see people I know perfectly well, I can't immediately greet them by name because it takes a few seconds to process. They say "Hi Mike!", I say "Hey", or "Hi", and several seconds later "...Bob". Really hard to change the focus from what I was thinking about to small talk. Working in a building with more than 50 co-workers I find a bit trying sometimes. I learned how to read body language during my almost twenty years of martial arts training. I learned as a child that people are mostly not literal in the things they say. I was deeply offended, I thought everybody was a liar most of the time. I still think people mostly don't believe the things they say, with a couple of notable exceptions. It has served me well. I worked hard for years trying to figure out by the way a person said something whether they were lying or not. Barack Obama is the most obvious liar I've ever heard. The very first time I heard him speak I was astonished that anyone, absolutely anyone, could believe a word he was saying. The way he bites off the last word of every sentence is like a punch to the face to me.

Are ye of the Body? Are ye an Aspie?

[Mikee]

A school psychologist in the fourth grade (1957) reported I was high IQ but emotionally disturbed. I took an on line test a few years ago (the one Kat posted a link to), my result was "Seek professional help". Screw that. I've been dealing with this my whole life and getting better with age. I have difficulty having friends because I forget they exist for long periods of time. I generally like people though I can't stand to be around them all the time. My four years in the Navy were hard. My most serene moments have been walking by myself in the woods or on the beach or engrossed in my own thoughts or in a book. Interacting with people is mostly stressful but less so than when I was younger. I've been in a lot of fights but I learned to avoid them. I never knew until recently there was some kind of "syndrome". I just thought of myself as a self absorbed cranky bastard who thought most people were stupid liars. I've tried very hard to learn how the world "works", meaning how people work. I believe in a benevolent universe if you understand it. I've concluded everything is very very complicated. Layers and layers, like fractals, no matter how much you zoom in or out it's still just as complicated. It's really quite beautiful. I don't know about being a Aspie, but I've never thought of you as particularly strange and wondered why you went on about it. I envy you your math skills, I didn't take calculus until I was nearly forty. I loved Physics but was working full time and paying a mortgage, I thought if I let myself fall into it I'd never get out and end up losing my job and my house. I learned early on it's dangerous to get too absorbed in things, you can't pay attention to what can really hurt you. And people hate you for it anyway.

[BaalChatzaf]

After I was diagnosed as an Aspie, I said hallelulja! My pain, now has a name. All of the discomforts of childhood I suffered now made perfect sense to me. In a way, it was a relief. For the longest time I just thought I was nutsy fagin. Now I have an official diagnosis.

[Selene]

After I was diagnosed as an Aspie, I said hallelulja! My pain, now has a name. All of the discomforts of childhood I suffered now made perfect sense to me. In a way, it was a relief. For the longest time I just thought I was nutsy fagin. Now I have an official diagnosis.

How old were you when you officially became part of the "the body?"

By the way, I thought,

Are ye of the Body? Are ye an Aspie?

was hilarious.

A...

[Mikee]

After I was diagnosed as an Aspie, I said hallelulja! My pain, now has a name. All of the discomforts of childhood I suffered now made perfect sense to me. In a way, it was a relief. For the longest time I just thought I was nutsy fagin. Now I have an official diagnosis.

"Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water."

[Kyle Jacob Biodrowski]

This thread prompted me to reflect on myself. Upon reflection, I quickly shut the door for fear that I would discover I was looking in on me. I also fear what I may find.

[BaalChatzaf]

How old were you when you officially became part of the "the body?"

By the way, I thought,

I got that "are ye of the Body" from an old Star Trek episode.

Ba'al Chatzaf

[Brant Gaede]

This thread prompted me to reflect on myself. Upon reflection, I quickly shut the door for fear that I would discover I was looking in on me. I also fear what I may find.

What you already know you are is what you will find. You'll just be dressed somewhat differently.

--Brant

you're no James Taggart (I knew James Taggart, I was a friend of James Taggart--you're no ...)

[anthony]

After I was diagnosed as an Aspie, I said hallelulja! My pain, now has a name. All of the discomforts of childhood I suffered now made perfect sense to me. In a way, it was a relief. For the longest time I just thought I was nutsy fagin. Now I have an official diagnosis.

"Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water."

Ah, right! But don't knock that "official diagnosis" of Baal's, while I agree on principle that Authority figures should be handled with care, or stayed clear of, it's important to recognize the distinction between authoritarianism and expertise.

An outside, impartial diagnosis by an expert can be a breakthrough and most liberating.

A true story about my long time friend who was driving himself nuts with anxiety about living apart from his wife and seeing another woman. Whatever repeated attempts at counsel he sought from me wasn't enough to help (for obvious reasons I couldn't be seen to be impartial enough) - so, reluctantly, as he's also an independent sort, he went to a recommended psychiatrist.

She asked a few questions, and mostly listened. All his worries about being emotionally stunted, a hurtful bastard etc. came out.

I think she quickly found the measure of the man, because an hour later she finally told him "Mike, I give you licence." ("but, but...!")

No buts, that was the end of it for her, she knew that whatever he did in life was never going to be terrible for himself or anyone.

That was something of a turning point for him and that was his only session with the psychiatrist. Simply, he's a good guy who was in love with another woman.

"I give you licence". We can do it by ourselves mostly, but sometimes we have to hear it from someone else.

[PDS]

After I was diagnosed as an Aspie, I said hallelulja! My pain, now has a name. All of the discomforts of childhood I suffered now made perfect sense to me. In a way, it was a relief. For the longest time I just thought I was nutsy fagin. Now I have an official diagnosis.

"Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water."

Much wisdom in there, Mikee.