Dennis Hardin

If scientists detect a gene with a proven connection to becoming a rap artist, I would consider that a valid justification for abortion. I might even support a law making abortion mandatory in such cases.

Fat basher. I have reported you to Governor Christie's office. (Shame on you. Everyone knows it's a glandular malfunction.)

We'll see what the Kings have to say about that. (Just try and take it.)

Tonite's score is a sure thing: 0-0. (Game #2 is on Saturday.) I checked the prices on tickets for Game #3 in LA Monday night. They start at $447. (I think that may be for Staples' Center parking.) Price to watch on Direct TV = $0.00. I think I know how I'm going to view the action. Alas, I have no celebrity pals. Or even rich non-celebrity pals. Such be the tribulations of the bourgeoisie.

Two. One to screw in the lite bulb, and another to go out and pick up a couple of Big Gulps so they can celebrate when he's done.

Told y’all. The script has already been written. I never doubted our guys for a second. The moment Kopitar scored that last goal in OT, I knew the game was in the bag. Translation: Whew! That was close!

Zach Parise vs Jonathan Quick. Dustin Brown vs. Martin Brodeur. Should be interesting, to put it mildly. We shall see if the Kings can keep their juggernaut (or is it a zamboni?) rolling—or if their record 8-0 road playoff record comes to an end tonight. An eighth seed (the Kings) facing a sixth seed (the Devils). Whichever team wins, they will be the lowest seed ever to hoist the trophy. . If the Kings take game one, it’s all over. The fairy tale has a happy ending, and Lord Stanley goes on permanent display in Tinseltown. He will be a sight for sore eyes. Heck. Maybe we’ll give him a star on the Walk of Fame. The script has already been written. Everyone secretly knows the Kings come out on top. The hero gets the girl. The bad guys get out of Dodge on the noon train, devil’s tails between their respective legs. Fuggedaboudit.

All true, but look at you! Wow! So, Carol, do you come here often? What’s your sign?

That's Nathaniel Branden talking? How interesting. These are exactly the same words (or very close to it) which Peikoff uses to justify his proclamations regarding the epistemological status of the "arbitrary." Does Peikoff know he's parroting Branden?

Joaquin ("El Chapo") and Vicente will give Carmine a warm welcome. Let us hope that, in the course of their friendly "discussions," Carmine keeps his head.

Got to hand it to the Coyotes' goalie, Smith. Seemed like the entire OT period was played in front of the Coyotes' net. Phoenix just couldn't control the puck. Great game, with an even better ending. Thank goodness the Stanley Cup finals will open either at the Rangers or the Devils. These Kings are truly Kings of the Road. I'm making you an honorary Angeleno, Daunce. The support from Canada has made all the difference. There's no stopping "us" now.

Joe Namath prior to Superbowl III: "I've got news for you. We're gonna win the game. I guarantee it." I suppose Namath was being arbitrary, too. We shall soon see who's being arbitrary. (It ain't arbitrary if you can back it up.)

O ye of little faith. . . LA will win easily. Won't be close. Then they can kick back and let those two Eastern teams fight it out to see who their next victim will be.

Uh-oh. Coyotes lead 2-0 with under ten minutes left. Kings are going to lose. I knew it. Back to reality. Angelenos may be disappointed, but our collective sports' subself is feeling a powerful sense of relief. It's the safety of the familiar. Losing. OK. Who's the wisenhammer who reminded them that they're the LA Kings?

So, Daunce, are you saying hockey is more exciting when the netminder is not all that good? Hmmmm. . My primary complaint against hockey is that the teams don't have a quarterback.

If the Kings continue to thrash their opponents all the way to the Stanley Cup, it will be one of the most astonishing turn-arounds in sports history. Seriously. The LA Kings? The closest they ever get to the Stanley Cup is when they play the Maple Leafs in a road game. But now, once again, a franchise rises from the squalor of mediocrity to dominate a professional sports league. They have already attained the glory of Rocky Balboa going the distance against Apollo Creed. But if they win the Stanley Cup, it will be the 1969 Mets all over again. Cassius Clay once again puts Sonny Liston down for the count. Namath’s upstart Jets shock the football world in Super Bowl III. The 1980 US Olympic Hockey team gets the gold. Around tinsel town, folks walk the streets like zombies in stunned disbelief. You can’t even get into a bar these days because every sports fan in town has to drown his identity crisis in tequila. Huh? The Kings won again? Yep. 4-0 this time. Bartender, I’ll have another. And we’re not even in the finals yet. This can’t be real, can it?

Warmest regards on your birthday, Barbara! Have a great day with many, many more to follow.

Pussy... So you're saying you recognized yourself in the mirror, there? We will amply demonstrate in a couple of weeks. . .

Sounds like mother-daughter talk, Carol. Down here in the states moms usually leave out the part about the skates. . .

Tough talking ranger fan: oooooh!! We're so scared !!!

Adam is making light of his situation, but he knows full well that doom awaits. The Kings’ practice facility—the Toyota Center--just happens to be around the corner from my office, and I see the guys all the time. I just passed along this memo to Dustin Brown: I was going to suggest you guys go easy on the Rangers on your way to the Kings’ first Stanley Cup, but I’ve changed my mind. Let’s press forward with Sherman’s flaming march to the sea. Light it up, guys. Clobber the Coyotes. Then ravage the Rangers. Take no prisoners. Leave them lying bloodied, wounded & helpless on the cold ice. This has been a long time coming. Let’s make it memorable.

And as soon as anyone starts gambling, of course, the drinks are on the house. . . No doubt the cynics among us would suggest ulterior motives. . . Some people just refuse to accept the warmth and benevolence inherent in human nature.

Well, er, ahhhh. . .I did sort of glance at it. . .(Twice.)

A year ago, Men’s Health reported on the drunkest cities in America, meaning those locations where people may be totally miserable but they are scarcely aware of it. The rankings were based on DUI stats, deaths from liver disease, etc. Las Vegas was number 11 on that list, and Miami (#96), Memphis (#71) & Detroit (#34) were way down even further. Obviously the folks in those cities need to start doing a lot more drinking.