Rich Engle

Nothing like good, positive vibes. Feel better now, Andre? After Chris performed his particular form of voodoo? Nathaniel Branden wrote some good stuff about anxiety. But you have to buy them, now. He has a good mp3 that might help. I mastered that one, originally; it was down to cassette tape and I brought in some pretty good guys to clean up the recording. Long time ago. Worth the five bucks, for sure. It could only help. rde Rather than hurt, and make it into your own Little Show<tm>.

That's all very touching, but welcome to the human race. You could get mowed down tomorrow. You have The Fear. This is a classic situation, nothing more, nothing less. It Goes With The Territory<tm>. And take the pills. Do something. The abyss. Jesus, that's lovely imagery. Actually, life doesn't do things nearly as sexy to you as that. Looks good on paper, though. Either way, you wake up in the morning and that sun is gong to be up, right? You'll be fine, you are in a funk. But you have to take steps. Best, rde

Well, that was just lovely, Chris. You never fail to underwhelm me. Try making this about Andre and not you. Think you can do that? rde

Now, you can't help laughing when you see stuff like this, right? I mean, really. Step One: slap a smile on your face or we will kill you. Step Two: repeat step one, as needed--lather, rinse, repeat. rde Todays Word is ". . .heh."

Boy, ain't that true. "Victim mentality," right? Negative thinking is a downward spiral. And it is so attractive; it calls like a siren-sound. You're made of 13 billion year old stardust, you are the universe contemplating Itself, and then you get that shit. Oh, lovely! Sometimes I get it down to the basic old struggle between good and evil. I think, maybe that's what that allegory was. You can look at stuff like, oh, Hell, "Dante's Inferno" and see the struggle. <--that was a little creepy, I shouldn't have done that maybe. In any event, Andre, you have this time here, and there will never be another one like it for your soul. Make hay while the sun shines, and it does (for the moment). Have we cheered you up yet? That's one thing OL has in terms of capabilities. You won't see this kind of stuff on the other sites. We lay down the heat, baby. We actually help each other. Now that is some bad-ass shit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd4VSkj0Wks

For the record, I have been to a doctor recently. He asked for some tests and gave me some meds. I have the impression that this is futile, but I'm willing to be proven wrong. I think just do what he says. The main thing is to get the edge off. You have to go back to seeing through your true eyes. Hey, you know the old "definition of insanity" joke--doing the same things over and expecting different results. Back down, chill, try new things. It will break, if you let it. I had never considered dark thoughts in my whole life. Surely (by example only, and I am hesitant to bring it up), I had never considered suicide as an option. Oh, the depression was deep, and I didn't even get that because normally I am a real happy bastard. But it came on me, during bad times. One day I realized that I was seriously thinking about walking into the frozen, snow-covered woods, sitting on a tree, and just letting myself die. What saved me was, well, one thing was how many people were in my life. That I better practice what I preach. But, I was that close, I had truly given up. I couldn't leave people thinking that was my solution, which, in a way, is a very selfish one (in the bad sense of that word). So, I sucked it up, fixed what at that time was a very dangerous situation, came down here, and changed my life. And I did that. So I know you can too. I have more extreme examples if you really need them. There's always worse. You have to be strong, and really believe in what you believe. Listen to Dennis, and for sure listen to Michael--Mike knows. His story is quite the pipper. For that matter, listen to all of us. Daunce came in right away on this, you notice. That's pretty cool, isn't it? Hang in, rde

I wish they hadn't spelled "bliss" wrong but this will do.

I was hoping you would clock in on this one, Dennis. That's good! I hope he listens to you. rde

Will it? Yes, it will. You are just looking down the wrong end of the telescope. This sounds like a bromide, but it really does just come down to a matter of perspective. You can see something, some feeling, that is surrounding, encompassing you. That is only one way of seeing. It is definitely not objective reality, it is subjective. If you want to get into those terms. There is always beauty, there is always hope. I do simple things to fix myself, these days--I remind myself of what is. You know, you can go for days and days, self-consumed, and what do you do (or not do)? You miss the joy, the beauty. You become separated. It is still there, regardless of how you feel about it. It will be there and look gorgeous. You won't stop it from being naturally beautiful. So, you can take it (which it gives you for free) or leave it (and be a miserable bastard). Simple choice, no? r It'll Be Ah-Raght.

Actually, Andre, a clinical therapist is maybe good. I think you have to eliminate a lot of variables. And the other thing I wanted to say about this is that often, strong people view their depression as a sign of weakness; like, they would feel it a sign of weakness if they were to take meds, even maybe just a little xanax or whatever. I have a lot of close people in my life that struggle with this, and I have myself. I don't take meds but there have been times when I did. I know there are some pros in the psych world around here, and maybe they can tell you more. The main thing is that it will be OK. You just have to figure out a path to get it off your back. It is a terrible feeling. When you are in that box, you lose most of your efficacy. Things close in, it is a darkness. It is like all the beautiful things in life are invisible to you. It's like a vacuum. Sometimes, it helps to just do something really different than what you are doing. Go see something uplifting and joyous. Flowers. Musicians. Comedy. Good food. Friends. Take a little bit of the remaining energy to try and get out of the funk. Hey, what have you got to lose? Remember what fun feels like? rde

You need to see a good psychiatrist (not a psychologist). It could well be that you are dealing with a chemical imbalance, and require medication. This takes a good evaluation and sometimes you have to try different things. That is one part of it. I realize that you might be very against using a med, with good reason--some of them don't work well for people and it takes time to find the fit. But usually, it is a mixture of meds and therapy. I do not think you can always "think yourself out" of these things. You need to find out what is really going on, and in cases of heavy depression, you know, maybe "clinical depression," you are talking about health and psychology professionals. I wish you well. rde

Alright, that's 4 so far (plus I might have a few non-OL friends in for it). Ghs-- I don't want to do this in real time (although I enjoy that, as a matter of fact I used to play on that very site you mention). The reason being is that it would be unrealistic for people in this kind of thing to schedule live one-on-one's (shoot, maybe I should've not phrased that such, that's a little greasy . . .anyway). My idea is to let it be done using the email chess program, so the pairings can play at their own pace. You have up to a week or so before the thing discards the game, and I think most people would be able to check in at least every day or three, something like that. And also notate the games, if possible. That way, we could put the notation up and see how it was played. Really easy--you just have one opponent, play to win, publish results, move through the round robin elims. That's the way I was looking at it. It doesn't have the white hot fun of realtime play but I do believe it would work out pretty well. Make sense? As far as who plays white (which technically gives you like a 4% advantage, at least in early play), I guess it could be a virtual coin toss or the players could just decide. rde Studying his Ninja-Indian Defense. Right.

OK, that's 3 of us. I'll troll the site tomorrow, Georgio. Let's see if anyone else wants to join. Maybe we can start up end of week or early next week. I'm hoping to get a few more, er, "playahs." Good, gents. Enough for a start! rde

OK, that went over like lead boots. I'll still wait around for a few days, though. r

Have you seen how spineless many anarchists have been about the Smith vs McElroy thing? If their utopia were ever achieved, they'd be the first to go. Within minutes of the state being abolished, they'd be clubbed to death by the first wave of power-lusting thugs while their fellow egg-headed anarchist theorists watched in indifference and said, "It's none of my business, it's between the two of..." (these fellow anarchist theorists would be interrupted mid-sentence by being clubbed to death themselves while the next ring of anarchist theorists watched in indifference, etc.). Instant tyranny. Not that Objectivist minarchism would be any better. It would probably be worse. Imagine a government run by Objectivist luminaries like Peikoff, Harriman, Binswanger, Hsieh, Pigero, Rowlands, Newberry, Cresswell and Coates. It wouldn't just be tyranny, but a clusterfuck of tyranny. J It would be something along this line:

Maestro, I only hope for checks and balances, but performance-wise I have not seen this working so well lately. However, it does not mean that I have abandoned nor lost any faith in that idea. As writers (say), we know the power of words alone, and how sacred that freedom is. Will it be protected at any level down the road? I do not know. I see deterioration, and I see dumbing down. I see Idiocracy (the film) as a viable probability, if not already in place. People are not educated as they were. Specifically, they are not of an inquisitive mind (I am talking general populous here--what I see all over every day in many places). Being inquisitive, questioning, is something that does not seem to be taught, or at least taught properly. I do conclude that there is a conscious effort from above (elites) to discourage inquisitive, "question authority" behavior. And it is easy enough to do--simply shift the learning to compliance with authority. This is a very expedient strategy, and it has been done over and over in human history. I find very little depth in the masses. They are confused, and they are using the primal parts of their minds to survive. On the mega scale, to be otherwise is not encouraged. It is so touching when I find "old school" type people--educated freethinkers, rugged individualists. I don't see true individualists that much anymore. r

This is from "The Nature of Government" in The Virtue of Selfishness. Some people disagree with Rand on this, but I don't. From what I have learned over life and study about human nature, she was spot on. I may disagree with those people who disagree, but I won't call them names like Rand did. I realize that she was lonely in her own fashion and had her own ways of getting attention. Michael I can speak only for myself, of course, but I know that I am struck dumb with admiration by the way the American system of checks and balances has left no opportunity, no legal loophole for the development of tyranny. Every time I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes. JR I remember a day when that was true, Jeff; it was the ultimate in human innovations. But, I do not for a minute believe it has nearly the strength it used to. For that matter, I wonder if it exists anymore at all. I see it subverted, constantly--there is a reformation of thought being enforced. Checks and balances? Have you seen what goes on with the cops? The fascism? And then, on the other side, even the remaining good cops have their hands tied on things that they used to be able to fix very easily. I find it very skewed, inverted, and generally a fucked-up Orwellian nightmare. I always, always thought that the U.S., what it stood for, how it was incepted, was inviolate, but I was either naive as hell, or things changed, or both. Not buying it. Not only do I see the check/balance system failing miserably (or becoming extinct), but I see it turning into an angry, reverse backlash. And mind you, I am a man of faith and hope--two fairly dirty words in these waters. I hope I am wrong, and you are right, but it smells like swamp. Best, rde

So, are you in? www.chesspostcard.com . You can warm up by playing on their computer if you wish. There are no levels here. Just a rockin' tournament. r My Queen Just Got Violated By A Horsie I don't play any more. I peaked after reading a book by Botvinnik in 1960. I played my bro and beat him and he threw up the board. I wasn't naturally better; I had just read that book. I really have no real chess ability; my mind doesn't work that necessary several moves ahead brilliant way. I may be some kind of genius in some kind of way, but I'm not brilliant. I purchased one of those early computer chess games to play against, but it was so slow I threw it away. I mean, if you are a computer--SPIT IT OUT NOW! --Brant I don't dig the new system of designating moves at all--they can stick it where the sun don't shine! I didn't like it at first either. I think actually a mixture of both is good when you're talking about a game. But I'm with you on that--c2 to c4 just isn't sexy. r

You introduce checks and balances, of course. These will magically mitigate the unimaginable excesses committed by monkeys doing what they naturally do, just as checks and balances magically mitigate the unimaginable excesses committed by politicians doing what they naturally do (abuse the power they have been naively given by the voters, who naively trusted them not to abuse it). But you know all this. JR Geo. Washington was America's first American king. Maybe he should have just said so. Then everybody would have known the truth from the get-go AND FOUGHT FOR THEIR FREEDOM--from the get-go and the continual-go --Brant That's right. And, I can imagine the attempted, er, "insertion" of checks and balances on this thread alone. Yeah, that sounds fucking fabulous. I can hardly wait to get started! rde Oh boy me first me first!

So, are you in? www.chesspostcard.com . You can warm up by playing on their computer if you wish. There are no levels here. Just a rockin' tournament. Yeah, California Dreamin'. . .I've been there a few times, on a heavy basis, and I loved it. But I live in FL now so it's a whole different dealio. I love it here. Tropics. I bet you did enjoy that! r My Queen Just Got Violated By A Horsie

Well THAT didn't work. Post where you want, I guess. rde Double-gangin' eff. . .

COMPUTER GLITCHY THIS GOT DOUBLE POSTED SO . . . Until MSK fixes it (I sent him a line) if you are interested in organizing a tourney post to the OTHER one. Repeat, this is a clone, this is a clone. rde Fuck's sake . . .

I'm feeling the Henry Belafonte smarm. I want to Limbo. I think I will change my name to, uh . . ."Mango." rde Yes, we have no ber-nanners.

OK, here's the deal: I've been playing chess since I was like 9. I even played on the chess team in high school and such. Spent a lot of time loving on chess (I have little time for games, but when I do it is chess and pool). I just started getting my game back a bit, I am really rusty. Crap, I even played for USCF ratings when I was a kid. I have played chess through my life though, and really enjoy it. I noticed that people like Ghs, others, mention chess as a pursuit. So, I got to thinking, why don't we do a little, er, "team building exercise?" I started thinking about starting a tourney; the simple way would be to create pairings and just do round-robins, although there are other ways. How would we do this? Well, I think the simplest way would be to use the guys over at www.chesspostcard.com. Play online postcard chess I've used this for years and it always works. There would be very few rules, other than like you can't use analyzers, and you should write down your moves (there have been times when the postcard server fails during tourneys, but not that often--if so, you just play back to where you were). I think this would be Big Fun. If you are interested, I'll start a signup sheet. But, I could use a helper on this one if we decide to do it. rde

You buy more bananas, and start over. That's one way. Or, buy them typewriters--maybe hit eBay and treat them to IBM Selectrics. IPads . . .something. Then you wait until they get done throwing poop at one another. After that, you are kind of on your own. rde Primate Fever