gary williams Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Some funnyman sent me this joke via email and dared me to post it.Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the Coroner. "Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob from Texas, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken."Well, hardy, har, har!gwNote to self: Stop taking dares! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 A Texan went to Alaska because people said things were bigger in Alaska than in Texas and he didn't believe it. After looking around for a while, he didn't see anything that impressed him, so he went into a bar and started mouthing off about how Texas was far superior to Alaska. As time went on, he kept getting more and more obnoxious.One Alaskan who was listening finally spoke up. "Texas? Are you kidding? Before a man is even considered a man in Alaska, he has to do 3 things in a row:1. Drink a full bottle of whiskey.2. Wrestle a polar bear.3. Then make love to an Eskimo woman."The Texan blinked. "That's nothing," he said. "Gimme that whiskey."So he knocked back a full bottle of whiskey, then went out into the night in search of a polar bear. After about 4 hours he came back. His clothes were ripped to pieces and he was bleeding in several places."Whooeeee!" he yelled, weaving. "Now bring on that there Eskermo woman. It should be easy to wrastle her after that!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellen Stuttle Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 I've heard a different version of the three-part manhood test. I forget why the guy in the story was being tested, but it went like this...He was required to:1. Drink a full bottle of whiskey.2. Extract a sore tooth from a man-eating tiger.3. Satisfy a woman who had never been satisfied.He drank the whiskey, then went into the room with the tiger. Fearsome sounds emerged: growls, snarls, general rumpus of walls being struck against. Then...the long, low sound of PURRRRRR.He emerged and said, "Ok, now show me the woman what's got the sore tooth."Ellen___ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gary williams Posted June 8, 2006 Author Share Posted June 8, 2006 Hee! Hee!Not bad! Not bad at all!MSK even pronounces wrastle right!gw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Folks:This is not in the same vein, as how this started, but came across this from one of my "polling" sites - it's biased, but clear about it which is fine.http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2009/04/hey...an-we-talk.htmlAdam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Grieb Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Guys; Thanks! Some good jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judith Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 The way I heard it, a Texan and his wife were visiting Australia and doing the usual obnoxious thing, seeing things and saying that they were bigger in Texas.Then they drove by a bunch of kangaroos, and the Texan said, "What the heck are those?"The Australian guide deadpanned, "Mice." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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