Translation Joke

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Here is a joke I posted on a translation site several years ago.

I am going to try to make this joke come off on the written screen. It really should be spoken to get the full comic effect. Also, it is quite funny in Portuguese (with a Portuguese fall guy and a Brazilian taxi driver).

Here goes...

A backwoods Midwesterner, Delbert, went on a trip to Berlin. As the plane was landing, he realized that he had no idea how to speak German. On the plane and then at customs, everybody spoke English, so there was no problem. But then Delbert got to the taxi line. He had to fight back the panic. When it was his turn, he got in a cab, took a deep breath and said, very pausedly, "Ho... tel..."

The cab driver gave a thumbs up sign and drove off to the nearest hotel. Then Delbert said, very deliberately, "Please... wait... for... me..."

The cab driver gave another thumbs up and waited. When Delbert got back, he said, "Res... taur... ant... please..."

Off the cab driver went to a restaurant. Delbert thought it was time to start getting more friendly. He said, "I... sure... am... glad... you... un... der... stand... me..."

The cabby said, "My... dear... fel... low... I... am... from... Lon... don..."

Delbert was amazed. "Then... why... on... earth... are... we... talk... ing... to... each... oth... er... in... Ger... man...?"

Michael

[Wrighty]

Thanks, Michael...and yes it does come off on the written screen.

It immediately conjured up a reminder for me of the scene in See No Evil Hear No Evil at the police station where Richard Pryor (the blind guy) explains to the cop why Gene Wilder doesn't understand what he's saying "Be......cause......he's........deaf".

Usually by this point in the scene I'm in tears with laughing.

[Jody Gomez]

Great delivery Michael.

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Peter and Jody,

I'm glad you liked a translator joke. I am trying to remember several others from back then, so I looked for a few. I will post them periodically.

Here's one that always gave me a chuckle.

Two translators on a ship are talking.

"Can you swim?" asks one.

"No" says the other, "but I can shout for help in nine languages."

Michael

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Here is one I didn't know before, but I thought it was cute:

"The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless."

ITI Bulletin, 6, 7, 1990

I can keep my own mouth shut in English and Portuguese, but I rarely do...

Michael

EDIT: Incidentally here is a site of translation jokes. (I got the last two jokes from there.) Most of them are not very funny, but the opening list of product images that you can't sell from one country to another without some major rethinking the name is pretty hilarious.

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

I got the following one from here and I got a kick out of it:

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."

A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

Michael

[BAMF]

I got the following one from here and I got a kick out of it:

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."

A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

Michael

I just peed a little. j/k

P.S. I thought you spoke spanish, but it's portugese of course! Silly me! Have I learned nothing from my own spanish class?