Funny quotes that capture insanity


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I was reading a graduation book Mom gave me as a HS graduation gift, and I noticed the funniest (and most contemptible) inspiration quote. I thought I'd bring it up on this website as I thought, if I asked, others would submit more hilariously despicable inspiration quotes.

Here's the one I found. "Every morning, before you arise, say 'I believe' three times". Can you imagine a voluntarily insane man waking up and saying that every morning? That's what I pictured that made me burst

Quotes please :smile:

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Good timing. A former acquaintance posted this on Facebook this morning: "If everyone is in the same boat, no one is likely to poke a hole in it. The conundrum, then, is how to get everyone in that boat in the first place."

She is an avowed Obama-lover.

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"A cynic is a humanist with experience."

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Let me misunderstand this. 'I believe' three times is too restrictive. If one believes, on faith four times, it is better than just faithfully believing three times, at least to the Pope. For an Objectivist, "I believe zero times on faith," is a more exemplory saying. Evidence, Watson, evidence! Faith is for the foolish.

I don’t have any real, despical quotes but I think “inspirational” gurus are the worst, and those fake spiritualists – those mediums are not far behind. ALL of them are crooks. ALL of them. whenever I see one of them on a program, I stop watching that program. The latest instance was on the Doctor Oz Show. He had that crook-spiritialist on air this week who is in those Priceline commercials where she is channeling a supposedly dead, William Shatner. Those people are the worst types of scam artists, preying on irrational, distressed people who are still unsettled and sad from the death of a loved one.

Peter

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"Haven't you ever heard it said that something is unreal? Reality isn't always real" -Dad

My GOD I burst when he said that!

"Always remember to balance fantasy with reality" - Hallmark inspiration book

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