GARDYLOO! A Modest Proposal for the Political Season

[George H. Smith]

GARDYLOO!

A MODEST PROPOSAL FOR THE POLITICAL SEASON

With the major political season upon us, we can expect a seemingly endless series of political ads, speeches, and commentaries on television and radio. Although nothing can be done to stem the flow of this political sewage, I submit that we can at least give fair warning to its innocent victims.

My modest proposal is based on the example of eighteenth-century Edinburgh. Although Edinburgh was a leading city of the Enlightenment, its system of waste disposal, which dated back to medieval times, left something to be desired. Here is an account from "The Social Life of Scotland in the Eighteenth Century" (1906), by Henry Grey Graham.

By ten o'clock each night the filth collected in each household was poured from the high windows, and fell in malodorous plash upon the pavement, and not seldom on unwary passers-by. At the warning call of 'Gardy loo" ("Gardez l'eau" [Look out for the water] ) from servants preparing to outpour the contents of stoups, pots, and cans, the passengers beneath would agonizingly cry out 'Haud yer hand'; but too often the shout was unheard or too late, and a drenched periwig and besmirched three-cornered hat were borne dripping and ill-scented home. At the dreaded hour when the domestic abominations were flung out, when the smells (known as the 'flowers of Edinburgh') filled the air, the citizens burnt their sheets of brown paper to neutralise the odours of the outside, which penetrated their rooms within. On the ground all night the dirt and odure lay awaiting the few and leisurely scavengers who came nominally at seven o'clock next morning with wheel-barrows to remove it.

Today we have warnings for many things -- from cigarettes and pharmaceuticals to appliances, movies, and even food -- but we don't have a similar warning for when we are about to be inundated with political shit.

I therefore propose that all political ads, speeches, and commentaries be preceded by someone shouting -- preferably in a high-pitched Scottish brogue -- "GARDYLOO! GARDYLOO! GARDYLOO!"

Three shouts should give us sufficient time to locate some brown paper.

Ghs

[Brant Gaede]

Great idea! I second the motion! GARDYLOO! GARDYLOO! GARDYLOO!

The only problem is the crying out will be non-stop, 24/7.

--Brant

[Reidy]

The story is that this was the origin of the ettiquette that says a man walks closer to the curb than a lady.

[caroljane]

The story is that this was the origin of the ettiquette that says a man walks closer to the curb than a lady.

That is what my Edinburgh-born husband told me. He was obsessive about being on the curb side. He added that in his youth they were still throwing things out the windows, not all of them inanimate.

[Brant Gaede]

Ah

The story is that this was the origin of the ettiquette that says a man walks closer to the curb than a lady.

That is what my Edinburgh-born husband told me. He was obsessive about being on the curb side. He added that in his youth they were still throwing things out the windows, not all of them inanimate.

Ah, defenestration?

--Brant

a fav

[caroljane]

Ah

The story is that this was the origin of the ettiquette that says a man walks closer to the curb than a lady.

That is what my Edinburgh-born husband told me. He was obsessive about being on the curb side. He added that in his youth they were still throwing things out the windows, not all of them inanimate.

Ah, defenestration?

--Brant

a fav

Ah

The story is that this was the origin of the ettiquette that says a man walks closer to the curb than a lady.

That is what my Edinburgh-born husband told me. He was obsessive about being on the curb side. He added that in his youth they were still throwing things out the windows, not all of them inanimate.

Ah, defenestration?

--Brant

a fav

Oh just the usual - the odd cat, rent collector, brother-in-law....

[Selene]

Ah, defenestration?

--Brant

a fav

Defenestration

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For the heavy metal band, see Defenestration (band).

Matthäus Merian's impression of the 1618 Defenestration of Prague

Defenestration is the act of throwing someone or something out of a window.^[1] The term was coined around the time of an incident in Prague Castle in the year 1618. The word comes from the Latin de- (down or away from) and fenestra (window or opening).^[2] Likewise, it can also refer to the condition of being thrown out of a window, as in The Defenestration of Ermintrude Inch.^[3]

The act of defenestration connotes the forcible or peremptory removal of an adversary, and the term is sometimes used in just that sense;^[4] it also suggests breaking the windows in the process (de- also means removal). Although defenestrations can be fatal due to the height of the window through which a person is thrown or throws oneself or due to lacerations from broken glass, the act of defenestration need not carry the intent or result of death.

Contents

Origin of the term

The term originates from two incidents in history, both occurring in Prague. In 1419, seven town officials were thrown from the Town Hall, precipitating the Hussite War. In 1618, two Imperial governors and their secretary were tossed from Prague Castle, sparking the Thirty Years War. These incidents, particularly in 1618, were referred to as the Defenestrations of Prague and gave rise to the term and the concept.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration

What threw me off was that we would perform operations, primarily on Dachshunds, the midgets of the dog world, called fenestrations, wherein we would scrape the calcification from between the vertebrae in the center of the dogs spine that built up from the constant pressure.

However, now I see that the word came from "fenstra," to open.

Good one Brant!

Adam

hat tip

[Brant Gaede]

Thank God, Adam! I was afraid you were going to come up with an illustration of GARDYLOO! That Ghs thinking he's Jonathan Swift.

--Brant

don't you dare

[caroljane]

Thank God, Adam! I was afraid you were going to come up with an illustration of GARDYLOO! That Ghs thinking he's Jonathan Swift.

--Brant

don't you dare

Thank God, Adam! I was afraid you were going to come up with an illustration of GARDYLOO! That Ghs thinking he's Jonathan Swift.

--Brant

don't you dare

You mean he isn't Swift, my future son?

Pythagoras

[Dan Haggerty]

Well, yelling GARDYLOO! would not only be curtious to others but likely the only intellectually honest thing said as well!