Rich Engle Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 (edited) OFFICE OF HRH THE DUKE OF CAMBRIDGERichard D. Engle, Esq.Sir:Your interesting communication mentioning a Mr. Selene has been hacked intocome to the notice of the Duke's Office. We would be grateful for further information on the proclivities and activities of this individual, and a representative of the British Government will be contacting you shortly.We trust we will have your full cooperation.Yours faithfully,Col. the Hon. Swithin Frothington-Fforde, KBEPrincipal Assistant SecretaryFrom: R. Engle, National Affairs Desk, Division of Horny GoatweedTo: Hogswine Frothington (or as we used to know him back in school, "Old Stinky")Re: This whole Pervo SituationFirst off, I am not an esquire. I hate fucking lawyers. But I can understand your misunderstanding, given the way I behave.As to this person's "proclivities," as you put it, I only see certain ones, and trust me, they are disturbing enough to make one believe we are only dealing with the tip of the iceberg, here. My only hope (which I hang on threadbare) is that he isn't doing anything involving barnyard animals, or engaged in other deep things (shaving monkeys, say). Let's reel it back and look at the macro of all this. Our intelligence does know this, er, bare simple fact, that being that at any given moment, there are a number of people (well, men, mainly) scattered over the planet who are sitting in front of a computer screen, with their knickers down around their ankles, a large supply of tissue nearby, and (my) a product called "Lonely Man Hand Lotion."This is the general state of it. As to his particular habits, activities, preferences, I will leave it to your own imagination. I wish I could help you more, but this all has been so disturbing that the preponderance of my cycles have been spent attempting to eliminate the graphic, psychological effects (mental pictures) that this triggered in my mind.I wish I could be of more service, and perhaps I will, but at this point I am in triage. Finest,Lord Engleton(a.k.a. Lance Thrustworthy, a.k.a. Dirk Digler, etc.) Edited August 18, 2011 by Rich Engle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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