Imprisoned

[caroljane]

My son's dear friend has just gone to prison.

He and Andy have been best buds since Grade 10. Kieran is a big teddy bear of a guy. His watchword is loyalty. When Andy's adored dad died, when he and Andy were 17, Kieran was at his side throughout the funeral home and wake ordeals, and helped him get through. When Andy graduated triumphantly from high school at the belated age of 20, Kieran sat beside me and cheered him when he won an award.

When they were 22, they went out clubbing with a group of friends. When they left the club, a gang of suburbanites, whose hobby was to come into the city and start fights, taunted and attacked them with fists and knives. Everybody was of course entirely drunk and savage. The police sirens were heard. Andy grabbed his girlfriend and ran for a cab. Kieran fought on. A guy tackled him , and Kieran stabbed at him, grazing his neck. The guy was a cop.

He deserves to be in prison. To carry a knife, to willingly engage in potentially deadly combat, to stab where you could easily kill, to willingly get so drunk that you cannot know if you are stabbing an enemy or a policeman ...take your pick.

In his crazed drunken mind he thought he was protecting his friends. His signoff to Andy was always, "I got your back".

There is no moral to this story. I am still shocked, four years later, that the Kieran I knew was carrying a knife around, or that he became another person when he drank. There are ameliorations; things could be worse. He could have had a gun,instead of a knife, in which case his life would be over, literally or practically. He could have seriously injured the policeman, and received a longer sentence.

He will get out of prison, before he is 30. He will have to stop drinking.He will have to learn so much.If he can learn what he needs to, and combine it with what he already is, he will have proved his loyalty to those of us who love him.

I think about him all the time, and of course I cannot help but know that it could as easily have been my own son, even though he didn't have a knife that night, or ever.

Why are the deepest, tenderest passions of these young men so intertwined with rage and mindlessness and blood?

[kiaer.ts]

Humans are, by default, great apes. Thirty percent of male chimps, and historically, 30% of men have died by violence, and still do in the Amazon and on New Guinea. Meanwhile, the Shakers are extinct and Europe is following their path. A tolerance for alcohol, and the ability to go berserk, when necessary, to protect the tribe, served our Nordic ancestors well. It's called evolution. Some people think that in our modern politically correct world, castration, chemical or psychological, is the answer. The real answer is an open frontier. But you can't build spaceships with money spent paying for socialism.

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Carol,

Since Ted had already posted here, I deleted your other duplicate thread that had no posts. But it contained corrections, so I placed your text from there over here.

Michael

[caroljane]

Carol,

Since Ted had already posted here, I deleted your other duplicate thread that had no posts. But it contained corrections, so I placed your text from there over here.

Michael

Thank you, Michael. I noticed the duplication and didn't know what to do about it.

Ted, you are drearily correct. My question was of course rhetorical, but there are so many answers and some of them, I know, are hopeful.

[sjw]

The real answer is an open frontier.

Interesting... I make a strong case for that in my book.

Shayne

[kane4]

A tolerance for alcohol, and the ability to go berserk, when necessary, to protect the tribe, served our Nordic ancestors well. It's called evolution. Some people think that in our modern politically correct world, castration, chemical or psychological, is the answer. The real answer is an open frontier.

I agree, and many men that I know and work with lament the very same thing.

[Mikee]

Humans are, by default, great apes. Thirty percent of male chimps, and historically, 30% of men have died by violence, and still do in the Amazon and on New Guinea. Meanwhile, the Shakers are extinct and Europe is following their path. A tolerance for alcohol, and the ability to go berserk, when necessary, to protect the tribe, served our Nordic ancestors well. It's called evolution. Some people think that in our modern politically correct world, castration, chemical or psychological, is the answer. The real answer is an open frontier. But you can't build spaceships with money spent paying for socialism.

Used to be the young miscreant had a chance to pay a visit to the nearest army recruiter.

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

There is no moral to this story.

Carol,

Of course there is.

Visit him often, like once every week or two. Tell him you want to kick his ass for being so stupid and that he is better than that.

Then ask him if he needs anything.

And visit him often.

If you love him, that will not be much of a sacrifice and you have no idea what good that will do.

Tell him to do the education stuff while his is in. Everything he can.

One word of caution. If you do this and he asks you to do anything wrong, like bring him stuff he is not supposed to have, tell him you want to kick his ass some more.

He'll get mad, but that will pass.

Ask him if he wants some instant noodles or cookies or something. That's bound to be better than prison food.

And visit him often.

I doubt anybody else will.

Michael

[caroljane]

There is no moral to this story.

Carol,

Of course there is.

Visit him often, like once every week or two. Tell him you want to kick his ass for being so stupid and that he is better than that.

Then ask him if he needs anything.

And visit him often.

If you love him, that will not be much of a sacrifice and you have no idea what good that will do.

Tell him to do the education stuff while his is in. Everything he can.

One word of caution. If you do this and he asks you to do anything wrong, like bring him stuff he is not supposed to have, tell him you want to kick his ass some more.

He'll get mad, but that will pass.

Ask him if he wants some instant noodles or cookies or something. That's bound to be better than prison food.

And visit him often.

I doubt anybody else will.

Michael

Thank you for the thoughtful and practical advice. I hope anyone else who may ever be in such a situation, will read this thread and take it.

I have already urged him to take every course going and read everything he can (he already has a college degree but is not a big reader).

Happily I will not be the only one to visit, in fact I have to wait in line. His parents, his girlfriend and friends are solidly with him until he is free.

He will have so much to be free to do, if he can grow through the penitential time.

[basimpson22]

Some people think that in our modern politically correct world, castration, chemical or psychological, is the answer. The real answer is an open frontier. But you can't build spaceships with money spent paying for socialism.

Well said Mr. Keer.

[BaalChatzaf]

Humans are the baddest, smartest primates in The Monkey House.

It is unfortunate that we are more like the chimps than the bonobos.

Ba'al Chatzaf

[Philip Coates]

I like Michael's advice in post #8.

[caroljane]

I like Michael's advice in post #8.

So did I, as you see.

I must tell a story about the wonderful lawyer who defended him.

Being a criminal lawyer most of her clients end up in jail or prison, and because of her excellence usually for less time than they could have.

She spends a lot of her sparse spare time visiting the prisoners like the ones Michael was thinking of. She visits because no one else does. Probably she does not much like them and is relieved that they are locked up and unable to do further harm, but she visits.

She has a 4-year old son. When he's playing cars, here's his play-by-play:

"Weee! there goes the guy running away from the police!"

"Wooo! Here come the cops to take him to jail!"

"W00AH! Here comes my mom to get him out!"

[sbeaulieu]

I was thinking along Michael's wavelength.

With regard to his dislike for reading, I might suggest just mailing him a book on occasion. I know that if I try to hand a book to my kids with any sort of explanation, they usually don't bite. I was the same way. However, if I were given a book with no explanation, I might be curious to read it and find out for myself.

I'm glad he has regular visitors. That's got to go a long way for his sanity. And friends like him that are wathcing your back are hard to find.

~ Shane

[caroljane]

I was thinking along Michael's wavelength.

With regard to his dislike for reading, I might suggest just mailing him a book on occasion. I know that if I try to hand a book to my kids with any sort of explanation, they usually don't bite. I was the same way. However, if I were given a book with no explanation, I might be curious to read it and find out for myself.

I'm glad he has regular visitors. That's got to go a long way for his sanity. And friends like him that are wathcing your back are hard to find.

~ Shane

Shane, thank you.

I have a brief update on K. He is doing OK his first two weeks. He has had no trouble and has made friends (I hope they are the right kind if such is to be found there). He has a full schedule of visitors up to June including his girlfriend and thinks he can apply for conjugal visits (????!!!???)

He is a big guy, 6 foot 3 and solid, and his reason for being there is hardly likely to make him unpopular so I am not worried for his physical safety. he even says the food is not too bad.

I just hope the real world of us his friends and family and his real self will stay dominant over his day-to-day environment.

[caroljane]

Anybody live near Millhaven?

Edited March 21, 2011 by daunce lynam

[caroljane]

On a hopeful note, my favouite loathed ex-Canadian Tubby Black was hugely improved by prison, though he already liked to read when he went in.

Edited March 21, 2011 by daunce lynam