Cathy

No, it does't :-) But thank you anyway. Maybe it was some children's song? Sasha She said it was a Russian prayer her mother taught her when she was a little girl. ~Cathy~

Im sorry Sasha, I was so young that I don't remember it. But she spoke it like a song almost, if that helps ~Cathy~

No aunt Alice skidded around about it cause he would help her pick her clothes out. I think people thought he could be because he was do passive and never had a steady girlfriend. But he was trying to get a writing career. But really he,s the only one who knows. Cathy

ha ha ha...that's funny! Remember, I am not blood related to "Ayn" I am blood related to Frank...that should tell ya something ~Cathy~ Even tho...it has been told through Ellen's memoir and my Aunt Agnes to us...he and Nick wrote the bulk of the Fountianhead....hmmmmm lol! Selene, I think I should re-state that, In Ellen's memoir, Aunt Bess had told her that Nick and Frank help her write the Fountainhead. Aunt Agnes told us that they just helped her write. Then Marna told me the same thing about Frank and Nick and the fountain head. I just wanted to make that clear. So I just assumed they. did, but I don't know if they did or not. Sorry for any confusion ~Cathy~

Me to ~Cathy~

Cathy: You have heard the phrase that "the lady doth protest too much," correct? You are extremely intelligent. True, you do not have the formal training that some have had, however, you speak to truth and you speak clearly. I would suggest you read about Eric Hoffer**. who wrote the True Believer, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_True_Believer. He was a longshoreman who never got out of high school and he changed how folks view authoritarianism and lots of other aspects of life. I would suggest that you do an "oral history" which would require you to speak into a recorder and free flow with your thoughts. Then you could decide what to commit to writing. As an aside, it is a good business to start, since many families would love to have an oral history to preserve for their children and grandchildren. I helped a lady that I was involved with develop that type of business and it is a slam dunk winner. Whose to say that you cannot be the next Hoffer, certainly not I. A... ** Hoffer was a young man when he also lost his father. The cabinetmaker's union paid for Knut Hoffer's funeral and gave Hoffer about three hundred dollars insurance money. He took a bus to Los Angeles, and spent the next 10 years on skid row, reading, occasionally writing, and working at odd jobs.[7] In 1931, he considered suicide by drinking a solution of oxalic acid, but he could not bring himself to do it.[8] He left skid row and became a migrant worker, following the harvests in California. He acquired a library card where he worked, dividing his time "between the books and the brothels." He also prospected for gold in the mountains. Snowed in for the winter, he read the Essays by Michel de Montaigne. Montaigne impressed Hoffer deeply, and he often made reference to him. He also developed a respect for America's underclass, which he said was "lumpy with talent." He wrote a novel, Four Years in Young Hank's Life, and a novella, Chance and Mr. Kunze, both partly autobiographical. He also penned a long article based on his experiences in a federal work camp, "Tramps and Pioneers." This was never published, but a truncated version appeared in Harper's Magazine after he became well known. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Hoffer Thx Selene...I didn't think about a recording! I think that could help me a lot. I will look at the links and see what I can learn...all of this, and I mean all of this is new to me. I want my future generations to know about the O'Connor side and know about "Ayn's" philosophy of life and let them choose what they learn from it. Thank you for your help! ~Cathy~

ha ha ha...that's funny! Remember, I am not blood related to "Ayn" I am blood related to Frank...that should tell ya something ~Cathy~ Even tho...it has been told through Ellen's memoir and my Aunt Agnes to us...he and Nick wrote the bulk of the Fountianhead....hmmmmm lol!

Cathy, you don't need any help until after you have written down your impressions when you meet Jim and start your "sentimental journey", just in the way you write your posts here. He may be all the help you need as he has already written stuff. daunce, thx, I am so exciting about meeting him and seeing everything. I just keep thinking about when I'm gone an about my great great grandchildren, I don't want to leave any "secrets" for them to dig up, or accidently come across. I think it will also help me...a lot already has. ~Cathy~

Can someone help me? I started to write my own memoir just for my family. I am not a writer as you all know. What exactly is a memoir and do I have to put everything in it? I don't want it out like Ellen's where everyone can read it, but I want to combine and continue where Ellen left off, just for my kids and grand kids. Jim Smith from Ohio did an article on my family growing up in Lorain, I am meeting him at the end of the month. He is taking me to my grandparents graves, where they went to school, their house...and hopefully I will see the orphanage they were left at. I am going to take pictures and I want to put it in the memoir. Jim is the one who suggested I write one. I need some smart people to tell me how to do it, what to put in it, and how to construct it....I don't want one day one for my great great grandchildren reading it to think their family came from a line idiots, if I don't do it right Thx ~Cathy~

"He had delusions of adequacy.".- Walter Kerr He'd be a first rate Leonard Peikoff except he decided in 1986 not to be that. But he hitched up too tight with AR automatically making him at least second rate to her. The problem is NB was there first with the second in all respects leaving him third rate to the second rate to the first rate. This makes him a third rate second rater. I know, it sounds complicated and confusing, but that's why I'm here: you sent out the signal! --Brant a second rate first rater or a first rate second rater--still trying to make sense of myself Believe it or not, it made sense to me...I think you people are making me smarter...thx! ~Cathy~

How recently was this memoir written? I'm wondering if your cousin Ellen is still alive. Ellen Ellen, Ellen, has passed away, the only one living is Denny her brother. I don't know when the memoir was written, but I will try and find out. ~Cathy~

Cathy, this is so stunning. I too had step-grandmother, sick mother, and family patterns which only became when I was married myself. Obviously my experiences were very different from yours. Yet I wonder, when you married, did you just feel the guy was "right" because underneath you recognized a warmth like you felt from the O'Connors? Daunce, No, to this day, I have never found anyone as warm hearted, caring, patient, loyal, honest, kind and gentle as the O'Connor's and I am positive I never will. They were one of a kind...truly. ~Cathy~ I miss them more than I can say

Ms. Shoshana Knapp sent me my cousin Ellen's Memoir about Her mother, my dad and the rest of the O'Connor children's growing up in Lorain Ohio. I wish there was a way of putting it on here. With what she wrote about and what I grew up with, it has become crystal clear to me why my father did the things he did. I believe my father had the best of intentions for me and my sister. I didn't know that my grandmother"s mother had died when she was young, same with my father's mother, and me and my sister. Three generations of children orphaned by their mothers. The memoir stated that one Christmas my dad wanted a watch very badly. His step mother got an old broken watch and put it in a new watch box and had my father open it Christmas day. His step mother thought it was funny. I remember one Christmas my dad had identical wrapped boxes to give to me and my sister, when we open it, they were new Timex watches. Now I realize why my dad looked so excited and happy when he handed us those wrapped boxes. We had those watches until we left at thirteen and we never saw them again...I am sure my step mother got rid of them. Our birthdays are on Valentines Day and our dad got us heart necklaces with our name's inscribe in them, we never seen those again either...how I wish I still had them. History has away of repeating itself I have come to learn. His mother dying when he was young, mine also, him having an evil step mother, I did to, him being put in an orphanage, I was to. I am happy to say that my children did not have to live through this "family curse" and hopefully only good things will come from now on. Since reading the memoir, I have regained more memories and understandings...and cried more than I have ever cried in my life. The O'Connor's were good people, with caring hearts and warm and endearing personalities. I know why Aunt Alice stayed married to Uncle Frank for more than fifty years...she was a genius after all. ~Cathy~

Happy 4th of July everybody!

P.s. Marna did say aunt Agnes often wondered what happen to us. :

Ellen you maybe right. I am going to call today to see how I can get children services records open, I want to see for myself if any family members contacted them. We didn't try to find them is because we thought they were all dead since we didn't hear from them. But then I find out they weren't. Sometimes it's just a lot to take in. Cathy

Thank you Michael that is the way I see it! Cathy

Ellen I think what they should have done is not forget about us. I will always remember that! Cathy

Sometimes I sit and wonder what Aunt Alice would say to me today. Would she apologize, or make excuses? I think she would try and logicalize it and say, what happens in our early years prepares us for adult years. Your not in prison, you have a job, and your a reposible adult. I think she would say something along those lines. But does that still make it alright? I think my aunt Agnes and Uncle Frank would apologize. I think my dad would to. My life's philosophy would be, I was dealt a bad hand from birth, but I also think of what I have learned from it. I have learned to be independent and in control of my life. On my death bed, I may have some regrets, but one saying I've always kept in the back of my head was from Maya Angulo, when you know better, you do better...and I have.

In her first novel We the Living (1936), Rand crafted the following end for her tragic heroine: –S Who was John Galt? Was he an angel? Why did she write about heaven if she didn't believe there was a life after death? I need to read those books...she seemed like a very good writer. Stephen, I think we all will regret things on our death bed. I think none of us have done things we wished we had, or could have whatever it maybe. And when that time happens, we are all going to wish that we could turn back time. ~Cathy~

So her philosophy was all about life not death? If I were a philosopher...which I am diffenanlty not, but I would want to try to figure out both. Even if I did not believe in God, I feel there is to much to us to not carry over somewhere. Just like there is a process of being born, there also is a process of dying. With her being a genius, I would just want to know it all. Or maybe, just like God, she felt there was no evidence so why believe. There is evidence of death, and to many people have near death experiences to at least not try to have some kind of philosophy as to what happens when we die. ~Cathy~ Her position was absent evidence to the contrary there was nothing to figure out. As for life after death she had her books. Her position was not to write just for her generations but future ones too. Generally, btw, Jews are more life oriented than Christians and Christians than Muslims (who have reduced themselves to 72 virgins in paradise). --Brant So her life after death was her books...her words. Good one ~Cathy~

So her philosophy was all about life not death? If I were a philosopher...which I am diffenanlty not, but I would want to try to figure out both. Even if I did not believe in God, I feel there is to much to us to not carry over somewhere. Just like there is a process of being born, there also is a process of dying. With her being a genius, I would just want to know it all. Or maybe, just like God, she felt there was no evidence so why believe. There is evidence of death, and to many people have near death experiences to at least not try to have some kind of philosophy as to what happens when we die. ~Cathy~

What was Ayn Rand's philosophy on dying? Does anyone now or think they know what her regrets in dying would be? Here is an article I read on the top 5 regrets of dying. Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware: 1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. "This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it." 2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. "This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence." 3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. "Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result." 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. "Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying." 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. "This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again

LOL!

Carol: You are a remarkable human being, It is an honor to know you. A,,, I agree with you Selene...I liked her right from the start ~Cathy~