Cathy

I just got finished reading "Anthem" and guess what, I get it

I remember one time Michael telling you I didn't learn anything off of Aunt Alice. I was wrong. My life has been so crazy lately that I wondered where I get the stamina from. In all reality I am like the O'Connors, I have a lot of patience and I am not a long term fighter. I will stand my ground for a moment and then back off because I feel things aren't worth the trouble and because I do not like conformation. I have been going through a lot these last few months (that even has me questioning my faith) I feel I am in a fight of my life and if I don't win, I will never get over it. Every time I feel hopeless I remember one instance that Aunt Alice said to me...she said, girl, don't ever show cowardice. I was afraid of a girl at school who teased me and threatened to beat me up (I was about 9 yrs old) and my aunt told me I had the right to be here like everyone else and she said, girl don't ever show cowardice. I didn't know what cowardice meant and I remember I looked it up. When she said that, she meant it. If you ever seen my aunts eyes in person, you knew when she meant something. Through the last few months every time I feel I should give up (the O'Connor in me) I remember her face and eyes when she said that to me. She did teach me something...I am not a coward, she is the one who taught me strength and if its worth the fight then fight.

You all probably already read the poem Aunt Alice said over Uncle Frank when he died. But I just read it today thanks to a friend on f/b. I didn't get to go to his funeral for obvious reasons, and when I read this today it really sunk in on what a great loss he was to Aunt Alice. I didn't think about that before, but how she must have missed him. After reading this, my heart ached for her. When Earth's last picture is painted And the tubes are twisted and dried When the oldest colors have faded And the youngest critic has died We shall rest, and faith, we shall need it Lie down for an aeon or two 'Till the Master of all good workmen Shall put us to work anew And those that were good shall be happy They'll sit in a golden chair They'll splash at a ten league canvas With brushes of comet's hair They'll find real saints to draw from Magdalene, Peter, and Paul They'll work for an age at a sitting And never be tired at all. And only the Master shall praise us. And only the Master shall blame. And no one will work for the money. No one will work for the fame. But each for the joy of the working, And each, in his separate star, Will draw the thing as he sees it. For the God of things as they are!

LOL! Only you Brant! Someone wrote on facebook...Using "two" words, what would you have done different in your past? I wrote, birth control!

I am to old to ;) thank you!

Well put!! May I employ your statement? yes you can...and I hope your Father's day was as great as you are! ~Cathy~

That's right...a father does make a difference, they are half their child's soul...~Cathy~

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL OF YOU GREAT FATHER'S OUT THERE!

Thank you Michael, I am going to look for that movie and I have always loved Carol Burnett. Even Jesus hanging on the cross asked God why he has forsaken him. Sometimes I think people give God more excuses then they give Obama. I hate feeling this way. Since I have found out who Aunt Alice really was, and learning her philosophy has turned everything upside down. I have had people tell me how she has saved/changed their lives when they needed it most...I want that for Haley. If it means Haley will be an Atheist, I am now ok with that. But I need to understand more. I understand about what evidence or lack of evidence that there isn't a God, but the evidence that we evolved isn't much better. I have been reading about DNA in primates (monkeys and apes) that are comparable to ours. But that still isn't enough for me. Haley is my last child to get it "right" and I want her to see every opportunity that is a head for her. I don't want her closed off from the outside world like I was. She has her own mind and own way of thinking, and I don't want to become my father (which at times comes out of me) that she has to think my way and there is only black and white, no grey. So for me to better understand, I have to learn just like she is learning. Believing or not believing in God is a big one for me and I don't want to be closed minded about it or Haley will not talk to me about it. So I am listening to her, and she makes some good points on many things on why she is atheist. When she walks into adulthood I want her feet on stable ground (unlike me). ~Cathy~

Great story and I love happy endings

Are you still mulling I would like to get your input on this to Michael...

Thanks Peter. I like the idea of "dream mode." I'm going to set my mind on "wet-dream mode." --Brant LOL! Brant your to funny!

But, who created us? If we evolved, then where did dogs and cats evolve from? I have heard...have faith...pray about it, go to mass, you don't want to go to hell, God is everywhere. I grew up with this. God isn't everywhere, or at least not where I am. I use to think, its in God's time...but I am older now, and time is running out. But I do know there is something after death...believe me, there is another realm or purgatory...something. But when you are a good person, and bad things happen, after your faithful to God and Pray...still bad things happen. If there isn't a God, what is our purpose? Just a legacy we leave with our family and friends? I know I would be a good person if I had faith or if I didn't. My 14 year doesn't believe in God, and I am starting to understand why she doesn't...and I am starting to understand why I did...it was pushed on me, I would be damned to hell if I didn't believe in God. Brant says mysteries, and Mikee said, Religion is a place holder for things we cant understand. Is God a mystery? Is religion for us to understand God? Or is all of this another philosophy to live by? Why do we need any of it and just live by our own wits? Why did people need Aunt Alice's philosophy? Why isn't it enough to be born, to live and then to die? There are different religions, just like Peter said, All religions cannot be right since they contradict each other but all religions can be wrong. Adam is a Mason, I never heard of that before. Do people pick a religion they feel most comfortable with to help with their purpose of life, or was raised in? Isn't it enough to teach our children right from wrong and good from evil with you as their example...or do we have to put God in the mix for back up? I hope I haven't insulted anyone...I don't mean to. I just see bad things happen to good people and good things happen to evil people. Why cant we tell little white lies to not hurt someone, or be gay, or live with someone without marriage, or have a baby out of wedlock...we are not hurting anyone. Why can't we be born and live our life as long as we don't hurt anyone and die in peace without worrying if we are going to go to hell because we said one time God damn it? ~Cathy~

I would like to know more about Atheism. Since I know there are a lot of you on this site, I thought I would ask here. I do not judge you on your beliefs, everyone is entitled to believe what they want and choose to believe. I was forced into religion and into everything my father believe in. But there has been times in my life where I felt there wasn't a God, I am now feeling towards that way again. I see bad things happen to good people. I see the so called Christians (not every Christian) But some lie and deceive and manipulate to get their way in life, in the name of God. I know the people on here that are atheist have integrity also. I am not saying atheist are bad people because I know they are not. I always thought if you didn't believe in God, then what is there to believe in...yourself (scary thought for me)! And if you don't believe in God...what do you think happens to us when we die? What about miracles? And why is it better to be an Atheist? I know this might sound stupid...but I really need to know. Thanks! ~Cathy~

Hope all you wonderful mother's out there have a GREAT Mother's Day!

Your right Brant, Haley was getting very involved in learning her philosophies and getting involved in Government and history...let alone trying to know our families history also. The very things I was so angry about my family keeping me from I now understand because I am afraid for Haley because of ignorant men like Juan Gallardo. Maybe my father did have the foresight that I did not inherit. The bad thing is, is while Haley was learning, so was I because of her. But don't worry, we will find another way, through here or Michael Brown's website...~Cathy~ A bully of a man isn't going to stop me!

Absolutely right! ~Cathy~

Michael those messages were in IM's (chat) on facebook. But there is plenty on the Ayn Rand International site if he didn't delete them. He blocked me so I cant see if the post's are still there. He's just a horrible man! ~Cathy~

Here is the last of the private msg from Juan Gallardo late last night. Yeah, you're as stupid as they get. Am I going to have to speak to your hubby to get you to quit your stupid fucking trolling? Grow the fuck up, cunt. I am going to have to remove myself from all the Ayn Rand websites except this one, and any of Michael Brown's sites because I don't know what sites Juan is on, I hardly ever comment on any of them but here and Michael Browns, but when I do, I don't want this guy coming after me. Maybe I don't know exactly what trolling means, but I do go to different sites to learn and help my daughter Haley learn. I have never claimed to be smart...but I would rather be stupid as a rock, than be just down right mean like Juan. If this is only some of the trash that Aunt Alice went through with hate mail, she is tougher than I am. I can see why I was left in the dark as to who my aunt really was. I am worried that Juan might connect Haley's last name to mine and start harassing her if she comments a question, so I made her remove herself from the sites she was on. I don't spell very well and in one comment Juan said, should I get my cousin William Shakespeare to help you? I don't want Haley who is only 14 to have to put up with something like that. I thought most of the ones who are on any of the Ayn Rand sites were adults, but this guy is just a mean, bully and a little boy. this is some of the other private msg's he sent earlier: Hi, I'm stuck in a wet paper bag and was wondering if you could help me figure my way out? You being a niece of Ayn Rand and all? Here's another when I ask someone to help me get out of that group: Here's what I posted after booting you: "I took pity on her and booted her. She's on the blocked list, too - in case she later wishes to claim that she actually had the brains to figure out how to hit "unjoin"." . Yeah, you really put on a nice show. Thanks. I don't want to have to put up with this kind of trash and I really don't want Haley to either. Its just a shame. ~Cathy~

LOL....but Brant your one of the nicest! ~Cathy~ That was a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. --Brant I kept the light sabre--boy!--was the mugger surprised! Hmmm Brant, I am starting to wonder if you are a Star Wars Fan... ~Cathy~

LOL....but Brant your one of the nicest! ~Cathy~

Excellent statement. You judge the person who looks to hurt you, or, attempt to seriously damage you with their words and ask yourself whether they are someone you value? If you value a person that attempts to harm you, Ayn would say check and change what you value. Then, as Michael astutely points out, withdraw your sanctioning of their behaviour and walk away. Remember that person gets to spend twenty-four (24) hours a day with themselves and you get to spend it with yourself and you are worthy. A... Thank you Adam, I don't understand why some sites cant have nice people on it like this one. Just like my friend pointed out that weather or not I am a niece, everyone is entitled to their opinion on a site that Ayn Rand is the subject. He blocked her also...and along with blocking her, he continued to insult me. LOL...I just realized I always run here when I am feeling in trouble....sorry. ~Cathy~

Thank you Michael, If anyone disagrees with this guy he blocks you from the group. I ask to be removed and he wouldn't do it so he could insult me more. I was trying to remove my sanction . I understand as a stripper's dance done tastefully could be considered as art...I get that, but a stripper hanging off a pole with a Atlas Shrugged Book beside her on the shelf I found it disgusting and disrespectful. And so did other's and Juan deleted them also. My 14 yr old is very interested in the philosophy, so much so, she now claims to be atheist. I am a Christian and was going to stop her from studying my aunts philosophies, But I didn't because I would be no better than my father. I will let her decide on her own...with talking about it. But I am very sure I don't want her to see a picture like that. I am trying to guide her to collage learning my aunts philosophies, not to a stripper's pole. I just think it was in bad taste and I said so. Well Michael, I can say one thing...better you having him near you than me...your smart enough to handle him, me, not so much...

Yes he did. My friend tagged me to it. They had a picture that for me was totally disrespecting "ayn Rand's" views of young women. the main shot in the picture was an attractive young woman half naked dancing on a pole. Beside her was a bookshelf filled with books that you couldn't read the titles of. Beside the book shelf was a little red arrow pointing to one of the books and under the arrow was the words "Atlas Shrugged". Insinuating the stripper reads "Atlas Shrugged" Or that its ok to be a tripper because you read "Atlas Shrugged" I was offended by this because I am teaching my daughter about my aunt and that is the only reason I sign up on these groups. She is 14 and I know that my aunt was for using your mind not your body. He said something along the lines of...someone who claims to be the niece of the man who slept with Ayn Rand. He said, if I was her niece, then he should tell me he was related to Nathan's third cousin once removed ...or something like that. I told him I could tell his family trait through his arrogance. I asked to be removed from the group, I couldn't find the remove button. He told me if I was related to them I should have the brains to remove myself. Then he IM'd me with some very insulting joke. He called me a stupid blonde. He felt she would have approved of the picture because she was for women's rights. I know she was for a woman's rights, but no way would say to become a stripper as long as your good at it. He brings up her affair like she would have approved of a stripper, that times have changed and so would her views. With everything I was brought up in...my views haven't changed and I don't think hers would have either. I think if she was still her she would tell my daughter to use her mind, not her body. I know I am not good at explaining things, but he was very mean. and I just wanted off that group so my daughter wouldn't see it. A person tried to explain how to remove myself from the group and he deleted her comment so he could still insult me. His name is Juan Gallardo and he is an admin to the group Ayn Rand International. Most of these groups I can put up with their thinking I am a troll or what not. But because I felt that they were disrespecting my aunt and all the hard work she had done and insulting me I actually left that page crying.

Thank you Jonathon for starting this post, I will be forever indebted to you . And Michael, your the sweet one, you had so much patients with me, that I didn't have for myself...thank you!