If you ever decided to leave the USA, where would you go?

[Rich Engle]

Hunter S. Thompson was the best writer that ever hit Rolling Stone, and it cost them dearly (credit card bills alone).

I don't recall offhand if (how much at all) he wrote for RS (I know his articles in Esquire, amongst his vast body of work) but P.J. O'Rourke had it, too.

rde

Edited April 24, 2010 by Rich Engle

[Peter]

George wrote:

I do like Nietzsche's comment that the State is the "coldest of all cold monsters" that "bites with stolen teeth" -- so if that makes me Nietzschean, so be it . . . Normally, there is duck season and there is rabbit season. But you are truly a man for all seasons.

End quote

So, you want to play funny with me huh?

I have written about this before but our readers on OL may not have heard this spoof before, George.

Using the Freedom of Information Act I have discovered some horrible Government meddling. Here is the report I found:

The transcript begins:

Mr. Hoover? Good morning Sir. Yessir. He checks his phone for bugs daily so I have a transcript from the tap on Smith’s lamp, and I have a transcript from his last stay in a mental institution. Yes sir, I will read the mental hospital transcript first:

The Kesey Psychiatric Hospital of Los Angeles

OK, ladies and gentlemen, this is a teaching hospital. I teach. You raise your hands if you have a question.

Now, this next patient was once a writer, but now he just stares. Good morning, George, how are you feeling today?

I was fine. I think. Now I don’t remember.

I want you all to notice, there is no deception here. He is not pulling our femurs. Have you been doing your numbers George?

Yes. Yes, I can remember one thousand now.

Good. The drugs we are giving him, are increasing his awareness.

This morning George volunteered as a test subject in our promising new drug, that we only half jokingly call ‘Memorex.’ It has been an hour since you were given Memorex, George. Do you see any difference?

Yes. Yes I do. I remember where I left my car keys, Doctor.

Very good. Why did you commit yourself?

I did? Commit? Oh, I remember. I was going to write a book. I’m poor now. I need to write a book. But I can’t remember what I was going to write. I keep thinking, Fascism wants Baptism coast to coast.

Is that right? What does that mean? Is that the title of your new book?

I don’t know what that means. Wait. Of course, I use reason, Doctor, not superstition. I’m an Atheist.

Well, so am I George. How far back does your memory go?

When I was a boy, I was told that the Lord fashioned us from His own image, that's when I decided to manufacture mirrors.

Very clever. What else George? What is your next memory?

The '60s aren't over, Man; they won't be over until the Fat Lady gets high. Doc? I’m better now. I want to go home. I remember what I was going to write. The core of Childs' argument is captured in the following passage: “There are only two possible kinds of monopolies: a coercive monopoly, which initiates force to keep its monopoly, and a non-coercive monopoly, which is always open to competition. In an Objectivist society, the government is not open to competition, and hence it is a coercive monopoly.”

Are you advocating Anarchism George?

Yes, I am. Either a monopoly is competitive or it is coercive; no third alternative exists. Limited government is not a competitive monopoly. Therefore, limited government is a coercive monopoly.

Is that a good argument, George? I think not. Anarchy is crazy talk. Why isn’t it a good argument?

I see, Doctor! The reason for its falsity lies in its major premise, which commits the ‘fallacy of the false alternative,’ by assuming that a monopoly must be either competitive or coercive. In fact, a monopoly can exist that is neither one nor the other. It could just be the best product on the market. Like limited Constitutional Government! It’s not coercive because you can always leave!

What’s the point of your book, George? Do you still advocate Anarchy?

Hell no! I don’t know! Nurse. Nurse Ratchet. Will you get me something to calm down? No. Get me a computer!

Yes, Mr. Hoover, that’s the first transcript. Yes, sir, those things he was saying sounded like quotes to me too. I looked them up

“Fascism wants Baptism coast to coast.”

That’s Ken Kesey.

“When I was a boy, I was told that the Lord fashioned us from His own image, that's when I decided to manufacture mirrors.”

Director, that’s the President talking to Chance the Gardner, in the movie, “Being There.”

“The '60s aren't over, Man; they won't be over until the Fat Lady gets high.”

Mr. Hoover, that’s Ken Kesey again.

End of first transcript.

Ghs wrote:

I know a number of ways to fool a woman into coming . . . You know, Peter, you really make this way too easy for me.

end quote

Yeah, but you still have to fool her. What do you do, dress up like Napoleon? And wear one of those sex-shop, tickle mustaches?

Remember, using the Freedom of Information Act I discovered two transcripts. Here is the second report I found:

Mr. Hoover? Good morning Sir. Yessir. I have another, more recent transcript from the tap on Smith’s lamp. Yes sir, I will read it to you:

Hon! Pack your bags. We’re going on a trip.

Where? You know how you’ve always been spoofing me about not being a serious Anarchist?

No. that’s OK. I understand. Will this time I’m serious. I am starting my own Anarchy!

What should you bring? Well, you, know . . . everything. Yes, bring everything. Of course I am serious.

No, we’re never coming back to the land of servitude. We will be free!

Tampons? Toilet paper? Well sure, bring those things, but once my anarcho-capitalism kicks in we will be manufacturing those things. The market rules, Babe.

Of course there will be no police. Rape? No one will rape you. I promise. I will protect you. Well yeah, right now it’s just a couple dozen guys. Yes, you will be the only woman, but once other woman see how great you have it, all the guys will get brides.

You betcha, I will bring my stash. And plenty of seeds. Sure I will be contacting my man in the cartel. Remember the market rules. They will be sending us bags of shit in no time. We can drive under the influence all we want!

No, no. Carlos from the cartel won’t steal our cash. That one time was a misunderstanding.

Oh, there you go, again. On and on about rape, tampons and toilet paper. I am telling you, we will have a great time.

Hello? Hello? We must have been disconnected.

That’s it Mr. Hoover. No it doesn’t sound like our Georgie will be packing his bags soon.

End of transcript.

Well that’s it George. Don’t be getting paranoid on me, but you should check all your lamps, pronto.

Semper cogitans fidele,

Peter Taylor

[algernonsidney]

They were probably having sex with anarchists. "I'm an anarchist" is a much better approach than "I believe in limited government."

Abbie Hoffman certainly got plenty of women in his life.

[George H. Smith]

George wrote:

I do like Nietzsche's comment that the State is the "coldest of all cold monsters" that "bites with stolen teeth" -- so if that makes me Nietzschean, so be it . . . Normally, there is duck season and there is rabbit season. But you are truly a man for all seasons.

End quote

So, you want to play funny with me huh?

What other option do I have, if wish to remain sane?

As for your "spoof," have you ever heard the saying, "Brevity is the soul of wit"? To write scenarios so long and involved that no one will read them is like investing time and effort in writing nothing at all.

Ghs

[Peter]

George wrote:

As for your "spoof," have you ever heard the saying, "Brevity is the soul of wit"? To write scenarios so long and involved that no one will read them is like investing time and effort in writing nothing at all.

end quote

Oh, OK. I will try harder George. This one looks long, but a lot of the lines are just one word.

Good morning. I am Lee Strasberg from the Actor’s Studio. We are auditioning for the role of Doctor Jack Kravorkian. Let us begin.

And who are you sir?

You know who I am. I am Al Pacino. Why do I need to audition for anything. “Scent of a Woman.” “Dog Day afternoon.” Those two ring any bells, Lee?

You are Stanley. Say it!

For Christ’s sake, I am Al!

Do you want the job? Say it!

OK. I am Stanley.

Say your line Stanley!

I am Stanley Kowalski:

Say it!

STELLA!

Very good, Al. My people will be calling your people.

Next! What is your name?

Uh, er, Stanley?

No your real name first.

George.

You are George. You have a lot of competition to play Doctor Death, George. Pull up your emotions. Try to engender in yourself the thoughts and emotions of . . . of Stanley? No. Your performance must be lifelike and unique. Bring up your own personal experiences in order to identify with and portray . . .let me think of a nonsense word.

I know! “Anarchy!” Bring up an emotional response for the nonsense word “Anarchy.” Make it part of your life. The life of George is Anarchy. Now say it with emotion. Say it like Al said, “Stanley!” George, let us hear you, Say it!

Anarchy!

Say your line, George! Who are you?

I am Anarchy.

Say it!

ANARCHY! I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDER.

George, that’s not the line. You are just supposed to just say the one word, Anarchy!

Ah, eff you, Lee. I coulda been a contender. That's the last response youse will ever gets from me.

Somebody catch him. He is passing out.

George? Wake up George? Is this what would happen the day after anarchy? Ha Ha. Oblivion? Everybody back to your seats, George is waking up. Are you OK George?

What happened?

You were saying your nonsense word, “Anarchy” as if it really had some meaning to life.

But it does.

What? Anarchy? George, it is just a nonsense word with no referent in reality.

No it is real. I saw it in a vision.

George? I am going to call a doctor. You just lie there.

Semper cogitans fidele,

Peter Taylor

[Peter]

Shorter he says. Write shorter and we can go out and have a few laughs. Have a few beers. OK. I can cause you grief and be brief.

You wrote:

What other option do I have, if I wish to remain sane?

End quote

I know George. It is tough being the scourge of the earth, but it was your volitional choice. I don’t know what masochistic gratification you get from having your religion, Anarchy, trashed, but how long have we known each other? Since the last ice age?

I hate to be blunt but I won’t write any more spoofs for your gratification unless I see some money. You still me $1.99 for the Anarchy in Heaven spoof back in 2004.

Show me the Money! Otherwise I will need to consult with my lawyer.

Semper cogitans fidele,

Peter Taylor

Edited April 25, 2010 by Peter Taylor

[9thdoctor]

What other option do I have, if wish to remain sane?

These George v. Peter flame wars get pretty tedious. Peter, (shhh!!) I’m going to distract George so you can sneak away. Just hurry, you can thank me later.

So, George, I think these ought to get the conversation back on track, what do you say?

What was the subject again?

[Peter]

Ninth Doctor wrote:

These George v. Peter flame wars get pretty tedious. Peter, (shhh!!) I’m going to distract George so you can sneak away. Just hurry, you can thank me later.

End quote

Damn Seven of Nine. Those bosoms are bountiful. That ass is ready. Everyone who goes to his site, look and observe it as a scientist. Does anyone else wonder about a man’s reaction to bosoms, a fairly symmetrical face, and at least ten inches difference between a smaller waste and larger Buttocks? Is it evolution driving us to say Wow! I could do that! Or is it a learned response. I say Richard Dawkin’s hard wired. Yet I still don’t feel, in any way manipulated.

I am inspired to type.

From “The Goddess of the Market, Ayn Rand and the American Right,” by Jennifer Burns, pages217 and 218:

Far from welcoming the swelling in Objectivist ranks, Rand was increasingly suspicious of those who claimed to speak in her name, even the Ayn rand campus clubs, which germinated spontaneously at many of the nation’s top colleges and universities, including Boston University, Dartmouth, MIT, Stanford, and Columbia, began to bother her, for they used her name without her supervision. In May 1965 Nathan issued a rebuke and a warning to the campus clubs in The Objectivist Newsletter. He and Rand were particularly concerned about the names those organizations might choose. Nathan explained that names such as Ayn Rand Study Club were appropriate, whereas names such as The John Galt Society were not. “As a fiction character, John Galt is Miss Rand’s property; he is not in the public domain,” Nathan argued.

He also spelled out the proper nomenclature for those who admired Rand’s ideas. The term Objectivist was “intimately and exclusively associated with Miss Rand and me,” he wrote. “A person who is in agreement with our philosophy should describe himself, not as an Objectivist, but as a student or a supporter of Objectivism.” At a later date, when the philosophy had spread further, it might be possible for there to be more than two Objectivists. Further, any campus club that wished to issue a newsletter should indicate their agreement with Objectivism but make clear that they were not official representatives of the philosophy. Nathan closed with a strong attack against another group of Rand readers, the “craven parasites” who sought to use Objectivism for non-Objectivist ends. Into this category fell anyone who advocated political anarchism and anyone who tried to recruit NBI students into schemes for a new free market nation or territory.

End quote

“Craven parasites,” only two Objectivists allowed, and NO new free market nation schemes? Two names come to mind but I will refrain from calling their names, whether it is justified or not. I will just say Booooo (Marotta) Hissss (Smith) in my best Harry Potter language translation of, “Slithering.”

Now that, that is out of my system, I hereby proclaim myself Objectivist number three. Until George becomes a real atheist, by renouncing faith-based Anarchism he cannot be Objectivist number four. Ninth Doctor, you’re out, until you change your picture to a cat. Damn but power corrupts. Who will be fifth and sixth? Hmmm? Who are my favorite people?

Semper cogitans fidele,

Peter Taylor

Edited April 25, 2010 by Peter Taylor

[Dragonfly]

Silicone tits, yuck!!

[Rich Engle]

Btw, has age ever been discussed on OL? I thought maybe there is a thread where we older types can go and share some senior moments and bitch about how no one really understood or appeciated us. 8-)

It would just deteriorate to discussing who has had a solid bowel movement, and how recently. I mean, I'm 51, and my fiancee is 60--we know the challenges of meaningful discussion, especially since our place sits connected to a 55 and older trailer park.

Plus almost all I ever do is talk about her breasts; she has really, really big ones.

My Girlfriend, Proving That There Is Life Indeed After 60. And Luscious Melons, Too!

rde

Counting the Years Until the Journey to That Big Trailer Park in the Sky

Edited April 25, 2010 by Rich Engle

[tjohnson]

Silicone tits, yuck!!

Yeah, hate them. Possibly the stupidest idea surgeons ever came up with. Made them lots of money though.

[tjohnson]

Rich, I hope you had her permission to post her picture on the internet.

[Rich Engle]

It's always easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

She loves it, shameless hussy that she is.

[Philip Coates]

I'm happy to find that, after my recent tirade, the quality of this thread as well as its devotion to the topic has improved with the last several posts.

[Peter]

Rochester!

Yes, Mr Benny?

Would you please, go get my car? This Sunday morning I feel like going out for some good coffee and a Belgian Waffle.

Sure Mr. Benny. Right away, Mr Benny, ah . . . . Mr Benny?

Yes, Rochester.

May I sit with you at a booth?

Of course, Rochester. This IS America., and I would most welcome the company.

Phil Coates wrote:

I'm happy to find that, after my recent tirade, the quality of this thread as well as its devotion to the topic has improved with the last several posts.

End quote

W e e l l l l l l l l. If you are being serious, I agree. Civility and cleavage are restored, which proves that home is where the heart is. My heart is in America sleeping next to the person, who for me, and as Goldilocks exclaimed, “Is Just Right!”

Phil, I hope you will read that Jennifer Burns quote I posted, that refers to Objectivist doings in 1965. I agree with her most of the time, but I never liked that business where only two Objectivists exist.

Then it changed, and Nathan was excommunicated and Leonard became the other Objectivist. And Leonard is very tight fisted.

Semper cogitans fidele,

Peter Taylor

[9thdoctor]

Silicone tits, yuck!!

Yeah, hate them. Possibly the stupidest idea surgeons ever came up with. Made them lots of money though.

I’ve seen real ones that looked that good. You need to observe them “in action” to be sure if they’re silicone. Unless they’re just humongous, which these aren’t.

I'm happy to find that, after my recent tirade, the quality of this thread as well as its devotion to the topic has improved with the last several posts.

There Phil goes again with self-serving yet ham-handed post hoc fallacies. The thread has taken this delightful turn because of GHS’s replacing “beasts” with “breasts”, it has nothing to do with any schoolmarmish contribution of yours. Here’s yet another video tribute to you, flouncy Phil.

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="

name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="

type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

[George H. Smith]

So, George, I think these ought to get the conversation back on track, what do you say?

Those are certainly impressive beasts. (No typo this time.)

As for getting the conversation back on track, I have found that a woman's breasts rarely do anything except stop a conversation in its tracks.

Btw, if the lady in that pic happens to a friend of yours, how about inviting her to join OL? If she happens to be a minarchist, I would seriously consider renouncing anarchism. B)

I'm sure most of the women on OL have been sighing and rolling their eyes back during these exchanges. We men can be such pigs...

Ghs

[George H. Smith]

My Girlfriend, Proving That There Is Life Indeed After 60. And Luscious Melons, Too!

My compliments to your girlfriend and my congratulations to you. I'm sure she is better than you deserve. Lucky bastard.

Ghs

[Rich Engle]

My compliments to your girlfriend and my congratulations to you. I'm sure she is better than you deserve. Lucky bastard.

Ghs

And that's why I heartily endorse www.plentyoffish.com . I had never used a dating site before. Free. 3 days later, there she was, living 15 minutes from where I lived.

rde

Thank Gawd Fer The Internet

Edited April 25, 2010 by Rich Engle

[Philip Coates]

> Phil, I hope you will read that Jennifer Burns quote I posted, that refers to Objectivist doings in 1965. I agree with her most of the time, but I never liked that business where only two Objectivists exist.

Peter, either everyone is a "student of" Objectivism, including Rand, Branden(s), Peikoff, or everyone is an Objectivist.

[Peter]

I wrote:

Phil, I hope you will read that Jennifer Burns quote I posted, that refers to Objectivist doings in 1965. I agree with her most of the time, but I never liked that business where only two Objectivists exist.

And Phil Coates answered:

Peter, either everyone is a "student of" Objectivism, including Rand, Branden(s), Peikoff, or everyone is an Objectivist.

End quote

That is an odd idea Phil, so let me throw some odd thoughts at you: everybody is only a student, or everyone is an Objectivist? What if they don’t want to be an Objectivist? Certainly, a scientist may not know everything, but he still considers himself a scientist. What if Ayn had remained engaged with Objectivist Society as she aged, and forget things, would she have then considered herself only a student?

“Oh, Dang it Leonard, what did you call that thing, the “Analytic Sympathy Dynamic?” No, don’t tell me. It was the “Analytic Synthetic Diamond,” right?”

As far as who got to be an Objectivist, things could have been worse. There could have been a seven step program, costing ten thousand dollars a step, and then a written test AND a lie detector test using a device called an “E Meter” after each step, Then after you reached the seventh level you could join Ayn, Nathan, and L Ron Hubbard as true Objectivists and live eternally with your internal Thetans.

That last bit of spoofing was in reference to Scientologists for those who are uniformed.

"The Tudors" is on. Got to go.

Semper cogitans fidele,

Peter Taylor

[Roger Bissell]

As far as who got to be an Objectivist, things could have been worse. There could have been a seven step program, costing ten thousand dollars a step, and then a written test AND a lie detector test using a device called an “E Meter” after each step, Then after you reached the seventh level you could join Ayn, Nathan, and L Ron Hubbard as true Objectivists and live eternally with your internal Thetans.

That last bit of spoofing was in reference to Scientologists for those who are uniformed.

Peter Taylor

What about those who ~don't~ have uniforms, huh? Being kind of elitist, aren't we you? ;)

REB

[Rich Engle]

What about those who ~don't~ have uniforms, huh? Being kind of elitist, aren't we you?

Exactly. And it raises what (to me, at least) is a far more important point: who gets uniforms--students of Objectivism (SOO) or Objectivists (Iconically known as "O's")?

I've been putting up with this insanity since the Seventies, and I want, nay, deserve (get it? "deserve," nudge-nudge-wink-wink) a goddamn Outfit. I will wear it on Sundays when I go to the Unitarian Universalist services--this will freak out the Green people, and the Pagans, for sure.

Perhaps a compromise: Tan or Khaki rigs for SOO's, and dignified black for "O's."

And a dress dagger. Or at least a fountain pen with a secret camera/recording device inside it to collect evidence of evasion. Something.

rde

Edited April 26, 2010 by Rich Engle

[dan2100]

But there would have to be a minimum tax to start with - at least enough so "the state" could send out forms in the first place?

If it's a voluntary system, like Dan stated, you shouldn't feel obligated. Personally, I think we would see a decay in the process initially. People would be opting out of not paying taxes. As some of the core services start degrading, the process will correct itself once the population sees the decline (i.e. military or defense spending) on threat of it weakening. The wiki page mentioned the itemized listing. If we go to a system like that, eventually the IRS could go away all together...further decreasing spending

~ Shane

Why would the state wither away like that? Why wouldn't it do what most states do: find new threats and new reasons for its continued existence and expansion? For instance, there are always social problems and there are always external threats -- and even if neither are that serious, new ones can be dreamed up or current ones exaggerated.

[dan2100]

The question still stands. What would be the outcome if tomorrow taxation was abolished?

Freedom?

Ghs

Let's find out!