Multilingual Writing Techniques

[C. Jordan]

This is a controversial idea I have, and I am submitting it here for considered responses.

The question: suppose you are writing about characters who speak many languages. In my case, I have counted about 24 languages that people could be using. The question is, when and how should one use these languages?

Obviously, we should use them sparingly. After all, we all write in presuming that someone will read what we write, and we want it to be understood. However, conventional wisdom has always been to never use foreign words and phrases, even sparingly.

The last bit of advice I got was "Hemingway wrote a story set entirely in Spain, but his characters hardly used any Spanish," and of course I should write that way myself.

I don't agree. So, I thought I'd propose a few proper uses for foreign words/phrases, in ways that I consider are good for your writing.

Suppose we are approaching a scene with a character's perspective. This character doesn't speak Chinese; and then he may see Chinese written, or hear Chinese spoken. By using Chinese here, we can communicate to the reader what it's like to be there.

Even so, I've found it's best in most cases to do that in no more than 3 sentences of Chinese (or whatever the foreign language is) because sooner or later, every story will need action; and the writer's next step is to make that dialog (which neither character nor reader could understand) part of the story.

One way is to have another character translate: [First I showed 11 Chinese characters. Then: "It means were entering China," said Minh.]

Another is to show a consequence: ["Drabahaar-drabayy,” came a childish voice. Then Jamal shows himself, and draws a gun. I assume that readers will form an idea on what Jamal said.]

Some words I use because they're untranslatable. This is hard to explain, but I'll have a go at it: there are some things you can only say well in one languge. Sometimes the right word, the exact way to say something, only exists in somebody else's language.

I will give you one example from my second language:

In Nederlands de zin "Lopen en Graven" klankt als "Loopgraven." Maar dat is onvertalbaar in Engels.

(In Dutch the sentence "Walking and Digging" sounds like "Trenches." But that is untranslatable in English.)

In that case, my approach is to borrow words and phrases, where there is none in English. But then, we do that anyway. English is filled with foreign words. Here's a common example: the Japanese word "haiku." There is no word in English for "a poem with a 5-7-5 syllable pattern," so we borrowed the Japanese word for it, and now that sits in dictionaries of English.

So, in the same vein, I use words such as "Athân" for "the 'Islamic call to prayer," or "qhöömei" for "a Mongolian style of singing" whenever I have a place for them in the story. But whereas many English-speakers know what a haiku is, few of us have heard "gamelan" music or have heard of the Bozkurt Party. So: my approach is to define them, briefly. I find it best to keep the definition to under 10 words. And after defining it, one should show it in action.

Here one might raise an objection I often hear: using too many of those words is distracting, has nothing to do with the plot, and is pretentious. I'll respond: my goal is not to use 'too many' of 'those words,' but just enough; my goal in mentioning these things is because they are part of the story; and as to whether it is or is not pretentious, that will be for the reader to decide.

Also, whether I achieve those goals: that is absolutely for the reader to decide, each individually

What I would consider pretentious is the infamous example of Mexican characters who behave like a stereotype and use a few stock phrases in Spanish. Or Sacré bleu! those French characters with too strong an accent, that is annoying, n'est-ce pas? That is precisely what I hope not to be doing.

The crux of my argument is that writers should feel free to explore other languages in writing, with the following guidelines. Every writer should ask her/himself if:

I have a good reason to use this word/phrase?

Could it be better said in English? and if not, why not?

Does this help the story, or hurt it?

In the final analysis, can I reasonably expect an English-speaking reader to understand at least 95% of my story as a whole?

Now I should get back to putting this into practice, and let's see if it works.

[Dragonfly]

In Nederlands de zin "Lopen en Graven" klankt als "Loopgraven." Maar dat is onvertalbaar in Engels.

The grammatically correct sentence would be:

"In het Nederlands klinkt de zin "Lopen en graven" als "loopgraven". Maar dat is onvertaalbaar in het Engels"

(Never mind that it isn't a sentence but a phrase).

I don't say this while I like to be pedantic (well perhaps I am), but while it illustrates an important point:

If you use phrases or sentences in a foreign language, ALWAYS check these with a native speaker (preferably a professional writer, a translator or an editor) before you use them in an official publication, like a book. Even famous writers violate this rule. In Michael Crichton's novel Next we meet an orang utan that supposedly speaks Dutch. Well, I don't know where Crichton got his Dutch, but even I couldn't understand some of the phrases and other ones sounded very quaint. Obviously he didn't do his homework, which makes me wonder how well he did his homework on other subjects. The result is that he's undercutting his own credibility in general. An older example is Somerset Maugham who repeatedly writes about a "rystafel", while it should be a "rijsttafel". I have seen many more examples of such sloppiness and/or hubris, although they don't come to mind now. So don't think that you know enough of a foreign language, or that you can't go wrong when using a dictionary if you want to use a foreign phrase in a book. Even if your grammar and spelling are correct, the phrase may be idiomatically wrong.

[Ellen Stuttle]

An older example is Somerset Maugham who repeatedly writes about a "rystafel", while it should be a "rijsttafel".

I don't know the context in which he did that, a scene supposedly set in the Netherlands or elsewhere. I've seen Anglicized spelling used for that word in the U.S. -- including (now don't explode ;-)) "ricestafel."

Ellen

___

[C. Jordan]

Crichton's spelling is Old Dutch, as opposed to modern. And Dutch is my second language. I still make mistakes in it. Sort of like Ayn Rand when she was learning English.

And Dragonfly's critique is on the money. I can only do simple phrases in the 24 Asian languages that my characters would speak, if they were real. So that's all I do.

[Dragonfly]

An older example is Somerset Maugham who repeatedly writes about a "rystafel", while it should be a "rijsttafel".

I don't know the context in which he did that, a scene supposedly set in the Netherlands or elsewhere. I've seen Anglicized spelling used for that word in the U.S. -- including (now don't explode ;-)) "ricestafel."

I'd have to look it up, but I think it was set somewhere in the Dutch East Indies (today Indonesia), as many of his stories were situated in the far East. Of course the literal translation is "rice table", the New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary gives both "rice table" and "rice tafel" (as well as the original rijsttafel).

[Dragonfly]

Crichton's spelling is Old Dutch, as opposed to modern.

I'm not sure what you mean by Old Dutch (how old is old?), but it couldn't be very old, because who would taught him some archaic version of Dutch? One example: "Ooh stomm dwaas, verlaat leanme". I have no idea what the last word means, even if you interpret it phonetically (something with "alleen" = "alone"?). Grammatically correct would be: "O stomme dwaas, verlaat me" but that sounds more like a old-fashioned stage play of a few centuries ago. Today we would say: "Oprotten/wegwezen, idioot" or "Ga weg/sodemieter op, idioot/rotzak/eikel (and many other variants), or "laat me alleen, stomme idioot".

[C. Jordan]

Here is an example: Ye Olde Regthuys (Ye Olde Courthouse) which is a restaurant in Tienhoven.

Volgens mijn Van Dale moet je dat als "Rechthuis" spellen.

(According to my Van Dale [Dutch-language dictionary] it is spelled "Rechthuis".)

[Dragonfly]

Here is an example: Ye Olde Regthuys (Ye Olde Courthouse) which is a restaurant in Tienhoven.

Volgens mijn Van Dale moet je dat als "Rechthuis" spellen.

(According to my Van Dale [Dutch-language dictionary] it is spelled "Rechthuis".)

The name of the restaurant is "Het Olde Regthuys", which is probably 17th century spelling. Van Dale is correct: in modern spelling it would be "Het Oude Rechthuis".

[C. Jordan]

Dragonfly: Have you been there? And is the food any good? And this wasn't exactly the topic, but I'm surprised anyone else here is from Netherlands; and in particular, who has heard of Tienhoven? I can bicycle through there in under 5 minutes.

Edited September 20, 2007 by C. Jordan

[Dragonfly]

Dragonfly: Have you been there?

Not in the restaurant. I didn't even know where Tienhoven was, but when I looked it up I realized that I may have been there as I have wandered a few times in the neighborhood of Ameide, a few kilometers from Tienhoven.

[C. Jordan]

Incidentally, I have found out from my map at this site that there are 2 Tienhovens in the area.

I mean the one near Breukleveen and Molenpolder.

Veel plezir. Wij kunnen Nederlands spreken tegen elkaar. En ik probeer minder fouten te maken.

[Reidy]

"Just enough" foreign language in narrative fiction is about 3 words per 100 pages. For idioms readers are likely already to know, like sacré bleu!, the limit goes up to 5.

In Around the World with Auntie Mame, Patrick Dennis did a good job of getting across the characters' lost, desperate condition, stuck on a Greek tramp steamer, by spelling out the crewmen's speech in Greek letters.

[Dragonfly]

Ik had nooit vermoed dat je ook hier in dit landje woonde... Zelf woon ik in de provincie Groningen, dicht tegen de Duitse grens. En met die fouten valt het heel erg mee. Het is plezier met "ie". In mijn topografische atlas vond ik maar liefst vier Tienhovens, waarbij die twee van jou nog als één werden geteld, dus eigenlijk zijn het er vijf.

[Brant Gaede]

Ik had nooit vermoed dat je ook hier in dit landje woonde... Zelf woon ik in de provincie Groningen, dicht tegen de Duitse grens. En met die fouten valt het heel erg mee. Het is plezier met "ie". In mijn topografische atlas vond ik maar liefst vier Tienhovens, waarbij die twee van jou nog als één werden geteld, dus eigenlijk zijn het er vijf.

Fouj goojd et xikk mete va in tid ednoow tad teeo uoj!

--Brant

Edited September 21, 2007 by Brant Gaede

[Jonathan]

Ich croyez dat autori should nicht usar mehr dan una língua.

J

[Brant Gaede]

Nadja pidaka.

--Brant

[C. Jordan]

"Just enough" foreign language in narrative fiction is about 3 words per 100 pages. For idioms readers are likely already to know, like sacré bleu!, the limit goes up to 5.

Now, here is my situation. I have write about places with names like Ulaan-Baatar, Yekaterinagrod, Toshkent, Andijan, Anyí, Tehran. Characters have names like Kim Chol-hwan, Quan Minn Phuong, Timofei [Tima] Markov, lil' Dawud...

...and in the text I use accent marks, which is my why of say that even though I write (95% or more) in English, these people are speaking any number of languages.

But do place-names and character names count?

Common 'Islamic terms include minaret, Athân, shahâdah, AHadith...these are not really translatable. But because I'm dealing with mujahedin, these words are a part of the story.

By using those, I've already exceeded your limit. Yet it goes on. For the science fiction element, I've coined a number of words. "Qiang" is a disease, "Tóng," a kind of robot, "Lâl" and "Qinu" and "Tsang-tsui" are all different kinds of guns...but what else can be done?

[C. Jordan]

Ik had nooit vermoed dat je ook hier in dit landje woonde... Zelf woon ik in de provincie Groningen, dicht tegen de Duitse grens. En met die fouten valt het heel erg mee. Het is plezier met "ie". In mijn topografische atlas vond ik maar liefst vier Tienhovens, waarbij die twee van jou nog als één werden geteld, dus eigenlijk zijn het er vijf.

Hoe meer ik oefen, hoe beter Nederlands ik spreek en schrijf. Dank je voor tegen mij reageeren. Veel plezier met je kennis te maken. Minj vrouw en ik heb een vraag voor je: ken je ook de muziek door Peter Gabriel? En nu moet ik deze zinnin in Engels vertalen.

(How more I practice, how better I read & write Dutch. Thank you for responding to me. Very good to know you. My wife and I have a question: do you know Peter Gabriel's music? And now I must translate these sentences into English.)

[Dragonfly]

Hoe meer ik oefen, hoe beter Nederlands ik spreek en schrijf. Dank je voor tegen mij reageeren. Veel plezier met je kennis te maken. Minj vrouw en ik heb een vraag voor je: ken je ook de muziek door Peter Gabriel? En nu moet ik deze zinnin in Engels vertalen.

"Tegen" is negatief, net als in het Engels, als het niet negatief is, reageer je op iemand. Hier zou ik zeggen: Dank je/bedankt voor je reactie. Verder is het "reageren" met één e (maar wel: ik reageer, jij reageert etc. Werkwoorden hebben in de infinitief nooit een dubbele klinker in de voorlaatste lettergreep, ook al komt deze wel in de verbogen vormen voor). "Veel plezier" is iets wat je iemand toewenst (veel plezier met.. = I wish you joy with..), wij zouden zeggen: leuk om met je kennis te maken, beter: om kennis met je te maken. "Mijn" was waarschijnlijk een typo. Als je twee personen noemt komt het werkwoord (de persoonsvorm) net als in het Engels in het meervoud, dus hier: mijn vrouw en ik hebben een vraag voor je. Het zijn "zinnen". Vrijwel alle meervouden eindigen op -en of op -s. Soms zijn beide mogelijk: appelen en appels. Verder zeggen we "muziek van A die uitgevoerd wordt door B (waarbij A en B natuurlijk niet noodzakelijkerwijs verschillend zijn...). Dat geldt bijvoorbeeld ook voor boeken: het bekendste boek van Ayn Rand is... dit is dus een typisch verschil met het Engels. Wat je vraag betreft: ik heb nog nooit van Peter Gabriel gehoord. Waarschijnlijk niet mijn soort muziek...

With regard to your question: I've never heard of Peter Gabriel. Probably not my kind of music...