I offer you a religion, a religion called Objectivism, with a suggested all-purpose liturgy for all maner of Objectivist meetings, celebrations, memorials and endeavors, from arrivals through unions to departures. This is off the top of my head, having no idea of a liturgy more awful or more stirring.

Weigh in, Phil, summarize the thesis, squeeze the wine from your press, deliver us a hopeful liturgy for the church founded this day in Greater Sun Center.

Objectivists believe in Objectivism. It is a Total System. It can help you Answer All Questions. It can help you live Smart. It can help you deal with every single one of Life's Blows, but it promises you nothing, nothing at all, no love, no blessing, no mercies and no special exceptions. Objectivism offers you nothing but the fruit of the free human mind.

Objectivism offers you no gods, no saints, no churches, no holy book, no seers. It offers nothing but a mind, your own mind, your mind turned to reality to answer the first and final questions. Objectivism gives no afterlife, no heavenly blessings, nothing from a spirit world beyond.

Individual minds can solve real problems. Individual minds working in concert can solve real problems. Problems deserve sane, wise and rational solutions derived from reality.

Objectivism is the friend of every scientist, of every seeker, of every observer, for it wields the self-same tools humanity has accumulated to best test and master reality.

Objectivism reflects reality, the reality of every individual intelligence of the world. It says: seek the best and only the best, for each individual human being. It witnesses the best of humanity where it resides, in the actions and in the minds of each individual in the world, in the universe, in its entirety.

Objectivism lives and speaks both loud and quiet, in each individual's best actions, in each sober judgement and act of mercy, in each individual soul. It is wages for weary minds, insight for the puzzled, respite, rejuvenation and recompense for those in struggle. It is Dignity, Honour, Justice and Self-Respect.

Let us now take a moment to reflect in awe at the Human, at the unique power of human intelligence in the universe. Let us move forward proudly in time, in individual toil and individual leisure. Let us savour this life. Let us each strive to live the best life that we may, in each moment of each tomorrow, in each moment of the life we have woken to, in fullest understanding possible. For a moment, together bound by the glory of this Reality, let us bless the human who lives inside each one of us, let us honour the human and let us continue in this sense of spirit until we meet again.