The Titan Sphere


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Before you start reading, want to warn you - it is a bit of a read. I had originally thought of editing and revising it thoroughly then trying to get it published, but at this point, I'm just writing short stories for practice. Rather than edit this one, I'm going hard at work on my next piece. Enjoy :)


The sun burned at their skin as Taylin and Rous exerted themselves with each step across the sands of the Tehlam. This desert, unlike many others of the region, was laden with enigmas; mysteries and lore passed down from the histories. It was these puzzles, though, that tantalized the duo to explore the Tehlam and unlock its secrets. They had but one lead for their cause: a legend passed from the forefathers of their people. It spoke of Al-Shon and his creation of the universe. There was one detail, however, that stood out to them within the legend; and it that detail that inspired the two to venture out in search of the unknown.

“…Al-Shon thrust his being within the center of the Heicynth and, within the mountain, he forged The Titan Sphere. The winds of the planet convulsed and thrashed about, while the seas birthed wave that crashed against the shorelines. The animals of the land grew malicious and waged war between themselves as the creatures of the sky fought for their survival. Al-Shon looked down upon The Titan Sphere, and marveled at his work. The planet was as it should be, and its survival had been insured…”

Following both the guidance of their tribal leaders by day and the heavens by night, Taylin and Rous had nearly reached the Heicynth. Off in the distance, the peak of the immense mountain came into view over the horizon. Their previously hasty pace had slowed to a sluggish stroll as they gradually lessened the gap between themselves and the Heicynth. Their linen, ragged garments had worn down, leaving several holes throughout the stitching, over the course of their three-day journey from their village along the Miuwatsu River.

Rous and Taylin both took the journey primarily in silence. They preferred to be alone with their thoughts, still attempting to wrap their heads around why they were attempting to seek the unknown. That was the true unknown. As the Heicynth grew closer yet, they entered the shadow of the beast. An eerie coolness fell upon them as they reached the mountain, as if a majestic force was at work. Minutes passed in silence as they encroached upon the exterior wall, noting a small, mouth like cave that met the sand merely meters from their location. The winds picked up, and a gust of wind nearly knocked Taylin’s petite figure to the ground. Sand blew up into their faces and upward towards the sky, and the winds, yet again, increased in intensity. It was as if the forces of nature themselves were at work, attempting to stop the pair from reaching the entrance of the Heicynth. Alas, the two stepped their feet within the orifice of the mountain, feeling both a sense of security and peril.

The walls were moist, and the air was thick. The winds that tormented them from without the cavern seemingly ceased now that they were within, feeling not the slightest sense of a draft though they were simply steps within the lip of the hollow. Yet they continued deeper within the perplexing inner-workings of the mountain until light nearly ceased to be their guide. The pathway to the outside world was no longer visible, and their only source of light was the small bit that managed to creep to their location from the entrance. The two grew a bit hesitant by this moment, but as all light faded to dark, a dim, cobalt glow began to make itself apparent farther within the depths of the cavern.

The sand had long since fallen from the feet of the two, replaced by dirt and rock picked up from the pathway into the heart of the mountain. The faint cobalt glow which was in the distance moments ago was now passing them on either side. Blue crystals lined the walls, starting inches from the floor and following the wall around until it met the ground on the other end. These crystals shot out, some nearing two meters, from the walls, just as foretold from the legends of their village. They were on the correct path.

A pungent scent slowly distilled the odorless, thick air as the number on crystals increased on the sides of the pathway. It came to the attention of Rous that the crystals seemed to come to an abrupt halt several paces in front of their current location, yet the continued walking. They came to a stop once reaching where the crystals ceased to grow and gazed in awe at the sight placed ahead of them.

A large, dome-like vault was presented before them, and the plethora of blue crystals was replaced by a singular, red crystal in the center of the room. A shallow decline of rock and dirt stood between the two, and they easily slid down. Sending a small cloud of dust upward as their skid slowed to a stop, they gazed upward in astonishment at the object whose presence they had entered.

A large, red crystal, nearly twice the size of the Earth Golem who roamed the plains of the outside world, which nearly reached the top of the dome-shaped room they were in. The odor, once faint and tolerable, was now a tear-jerking, unbearable stench that nearly brought Taylin to her knees. It radiated a strong, red glow that illuminated the entire room, showing it to be a dead end, with the exception of the path that led them here.

As the two examined the intricacies of the crystal, the room seemed, to them, to heat up. A bead of sweat fell from the forehead of Rous and continued downward until it collided with the floor, but this went un-noticed to him. Taylin picked up a small rock fragment that she found on the ground, and walked over to the rear wall of the room. Rous, trying to drown out the noise his sister was making in the back of the room, continued his examination of the Crystal. Moments later, Taylin turned around and looked toward Rous, and her stare was met with his.

“We found it, Tay.” Rous stated, heart pounding with excitement.

“The Titan Sphere...” Taylin’s voice trailed off, then continued, “Just as the legend foretold. Just as passed down from our tribe from the elders. We must go back to the village and let them know of our discovery!” Her voice picked up, then faded back down to a near whisper, “Mother would have been proud.” She finished, and then turned her attention back toward the pathway from which they came, and began the ascent up the rocky slope and approached the exit.

After hearing only her feet kicking up rocks as she climbed and expecting to hear her brothers, she turned around to ensure he was on his way. Rous was just standing near the Titan Sphere, not budging more than slightly in place.

“Rous, let’s get back to the village. We must get back and tell them the news!” Taylin shouted back towards Rous; and, upon hearing no response, descended back down towards Rous who still stood in silence.

As she approached, she could hear mumbled jargon under his breath, but could not make out what exactly he was saying. Now face to face, she could barely make out what her brother was attempting to say, but listened in horror as he spoke.

“Tay...lin… Run...Pl—please run” He said in a quiet voice, as if he was losing the ability to speak. Taylin knew not to question her brother, so she instantly turned around and prepared to, again, ascend towards the exit, anxious as to why her brother made such an outlandish request without even an explanation. But as she began to run, a roar, more beast than human, escaped the mouth of her brother as he convulsed and fell to the ground. He attempted to pick himself up, but, as he barely got to his feet, he began to writhe in pain. All the while, a patch of skin on his arm turned black as soot, and the black spread quickly across his body. Rous let out a screech, sounding, this time, fully animal. The blackness had consumed all but his face, and, as it came over his chest, his spine involuntarily bent forward and skin began to fill the newfound crevice between his chest and naval. His body began to seize and shake as this strange, black flesh overtook his torso. It climbed up his neck and engulfed his face, leaving his eyes as the last bit of human within him. Within the restraints of the mass stemming from his chest, he stood at near-full stand and his neck violently cocked backwards. He birthed out a shriek unlike that of any human, beast, or monster, and, with his head facing the ceiling, he began to scream.

“My eyes! My eyes, Taylin, I cannot see. Everything is turning black, Taylin, I cannot see. Let me die, please, kill me. I want to die.” Rous screamed with what little of humanity he could muster up, voice radically changing in pace as if going insane, and then fell to the floor. Rous’ eyes filled with the phenomenon that tormented his skin, and also turned black. He now felt as if all sense of human had left his body. The last sound he managed to make out before losing himself was the screams of his sister. Not in panic for his life, but for her own.

“Rous...” Taylin’s voice trailed off, then shouted louder. “Rous, what is happening to me? My skin is turning rotting…Rous!” Taylin screamed, and, with her last, ear-splitting howl, Rous lost his sense of consciousness, and fell into the darkness which consumed him.

Four Thousand Years Later…

What was once a small village along the Miuwatsu has transformed into a large city, holding over one hundred thousand civilians. The river has been widened by the people over the years, increasing the water supply to accommodate the exponentially rising population. As tradition has held for over one thousand years, the villagers hold an annual ceremony to honor Al-Shon for providing the Maicu tribe with such an ability to thrive and flourish. On this day, the day when the three moons cover the night sky, the ceremony is to take place.

The Twilight Hour had arrived. The hour in which the Rakka Moon resides in the east, near the Heicynth; the Yon Moon in the west across the banks of the Miuwatsu; and the Shim-pü, overhead, in the northern sky. Not a cloud was visible in the night sky, making this night ideal for the ceremony to take place.

Every member of the village, ranging from children to the elderly, came to The Alter – a structure taller than any other in the village, as well as the village temple sanctioned by Al-Shon to dedicate the infants of the village. They crowded around the perimeter of the structure, all having in plain view the top of the multi-tiered, pyramid-like structure. As if a chilling breeze froze silent the members of the tribe, the gong atop The Alter was hit. Silence overtook the mass of people as The High Cleric Routay appeared at the apex of The Alter.

“My people,” Routay began, “We gather here to thank Al-Shon for allowing our land to prosper, our tribe to grow, and granting our people safety from the demon Meinru. Here, in the Twilight Hour, we come to honor you and offer all our children born within the year to you.” Routay finished, gesturing for all women with children whom have yet to be dedicated forward to place their children upon The Alter. Giving the women of the tribe a moment to bring their children forward, Routay walked down the five flights of rock steps to where the children had been placed, and, one by one, began to bless and dedicate them to Al-Shon. Placing his index and middle finger upward toward the sky, while clenching the rest inward like a fist, Routay indicated a circle around the infant, symbolizing life, then placed his two extended fingers upon the child and blessed him. Nearly two hundred infants had been placed upon The Alter to be blessed, and Routay had blessed all but the last two.

The two remaining children had the most peculiar birth marks. The female child on the left had three circular dark splotches across her neck – the symbol of the doe – while the male child on the right had but one, misshapen mark under his left ear – the omen of ruin.

“Whose children are these?” Routay inquired of the silent crowd. Slowly, two women approached The Alter, walked to where their children were laid, and knelt before The High Cleric. “A special blessing is needed for these children, for they are not as the others blessed here tonight. I shall hold a dedication, two hours from now, for these two in the temple; may Al-Shon watch over these two.” Routay Finished, as he turned his back and ascended back to the top of The Alter.

The ceremony ended within several minutes on the note of Routay extending willingness to be a personal sacrifice to Al-Shon, a general blessing of toward the people of the Maicu Tribe, and a warning that the passive actions of the Meinru may soon come to an end. The people of the village dispersed into their homes for the night as Routay headed towards the temple. Hours later, when the lights of the village had died down until sunrise, the cloth drapery covering the temple entrance parted ways, allowing for the entrance of two women and their infants into the temple.

There was minimal explanation to the mothers as to why their children could not receive the blessings with all the others that night. He explained to the two mothers that their children would need each other if they were to survive. He explained to them that the infant girl, Nami, was born with the symbol of the doe, while the male child, Kio, was born under the omen of ruin – all based on their birth markings. It was due to the birth of Kio that Routay had to warn the people that the Meinru may no longer hide passively in the hills, but it was also on the virtue of the birth of Nami that ruin may not to be their fate. So long as the two stay near to one another, favor with Al-Shon may still be sustainable, but ruin shall be the destiny of the Maicu if that does not happen. Routay preformed a more intricate blessing ritual on the two of them before escorting the women and infants out of the temple, increasing the speed and direction of the motions in the hopes of favor with Al-Shon. Hope was the best he could have.

Years passed as Nami and Kio grew closer as they aged. They were under the close eye of the tribal elders, seeing as their relationship was vital to the survival of their people. The impending war with the Meinru has been evaded thus far, giving comfort to the Maicu people. The elders of the village preferred that people not leave the constraints of the village, marked by both watchmen and poorly constructed walls. The village, for the most part, was self-sustaining, with the exception of wild game – which a team of hunters would be sent out to retrieve whenever the supply went down. Nami and Kio, however, did not much care for the rules of the village. They would often wander past the borders of the village in the hopes of exploration. They knew of the world outside the village, yet never were able to experience it themselves. One exploration, though, went horribly wrong.

The two left the village and headed toward the Tehlam several hours after the moons dominated the sky, wearing extra layers of cloth and skins to combat the cold. They knew the journey across the desert was a long trek, but they left at an hour where they could leave and return before the sun peaked over the horizon. The cold winds penetrated through their bones, making the walk all-the-more painful, but their desire for what was not known pushed them on. The village was still in sight, though growing smaller with each step, for the first half hour, but disappeared soon after that.

They had never ventured in the direction of the Heicynth before, and were surprised by its enormity. From the village, it still stood out as the largest object viewable, but, as they approached its base, had to take a moment to take it all in.

“Nami, get down.” Kio whispered to her, dragging her down to the sandy ground with him, disregarding her willingness.

“What was that for—“Nami began, but was interrupted.

Kio clasped her mouth shut with his hand, and motioned across the desert toward the base of the mountain. Her eyes grew large as she noticed what Kio noticed moments ago. Standing about one-hundred yards from their location, a creature was staring in their direction. Though his figure was primarily shadowed by the darkness, the light of the moons reflected off his eyes, which showed them to be completely black. After a few moments of silence from both them and the creature, he fell to all fours, turned, and sprinted as a lion in pursuit of its prey back toward the mountain.

After removing his hand from the cover of her mouth, Kio arose to full stand. Nami followed suit, but lain flat on the sand for a few moments in both silence and fear before rising.

“What was that thing?” Nami inquired of Kio, who stood pondering before his response.

“There is no way to know what exactly it was without going after it, and you know that.” Kio responded, dusting sand off his clothes.

“We should go back to the village, Kio. I don’t think it will be very safe if we continue on.” Nami stated, hoping for Kio’s agreement with her stance.

“We’ve come too far to head back now. I’m going, with or without you.” Kio finished as he began walking toward the base of the Heicynth, which was very near to their location.

“Kio…” Nami’s voice trailed off as she watched him walking towards the mountain. After receiving any sort of response from Kio, against her better judgment, Nami decided to follow him into the unknown.

Several minutes of silent walking would be the end note of their traversing of the Tehlam as the pair reached an opening in the Heicynth. Kio walked in first, and, gesturing for her to follow, Nami entered as well. Initially, they walked with a hesitant crawl, but, as they traveled deeper within the mountain, they returned to a normal walking speed. But the walking speed was to change again, when what little light could be extracted from the moon began to fade, and darkness began to overtake their vision.

Kio, remembering the item he stole from one of the village apothecaries, removed from his leg-strap a thick, black wooden stick. Recalling the instructions he overheard from members of the village over the years, he grasped the stick in his right hand and drove it against one of the walls of the cave. A loud boom went off, echoing all throughout the mountain, nearly causing Kio to drop the stick in surprise. A large fire now lived atop the black stick, illuminating what was once dark within the mountain.

Yet another surprise met Kio as, with the newfound light, he saw a creature several feet in front of him. Its eyes were dark, as with the creature they saw staring them down in the Tehlam. Standing no more than four feet in height, the creature began to hiss and growl at Kio and Nami. It seemed to walk like the apes who were told to reside in the jungles far west across the Miuwatsu.

Kio held the magical black stick in his right hand as he assumed a battle stance, preparing to engage the creature. As he seemed ready to lunge, Nami placed her hand in front of Kio’s chest and slowly approached the creature herself. The creature, itself, seemed more fearful than aggressive, and backpedalled slowly with Nami’s approach.

“My name is Nami.” She began. “And this here,” She gestured toward Kio “his name is Kio. We are not here to hurt you. Can you understand me?” She asked, hoping for some sort of response. The creature was un-responsive to her questioning, so she extended a hand toward the creature and placed upon its forearm. The creature’s mouth, thrice the size of Nami’s, opened, and his shark-like row of amber teeth glistened in the firelight. Kio, assuming the creature was preparing to strike upon Nami, rushed at the creature with the lit object in his hand and struck him upon the head, sending him flying back against a rock wall. He attempted to scamper back to all fours, but was again pounded with Kio’s weapon. The creature was then battered with the weapon several times in succession, letting out shrieks and growls as he was being beat. Raising the object above his head, Kio then thrust it down upon the head of the creature. Finishing with a kick to his side, the animal’s head fell limp to the side. The creature was dead.

“Kio! What were you thinking?” Nami shouted rhetorically, then continued, “That creature did nothing to me, and you killed him, Kio. You killed him!” She finished, looking first at the dead creature than up at Kio. Upset that Kio was not looking at her when she spoke to him; she turned her head to where his eyes were. Barely within the illuminated area given off by the torch Kio held, a second creature of similar nature to the dead one sat there. He began to roar and shriek, but rather than running at the humans, he ran away into the darkness, screaming as it faded.

“We have to follow after him, Nami. If there are more of these creatures, he will certainly be alerting them.” Kio stated, sprinting down into the darkness.

“I’m not following. I’m taking the body of the dead creature back to the village.” Nami replied, grabbing it by its limp wrist and heading back towards the path they entered. Kio ran deeper and deeper, following the screams that seemed to be getting louder. I’m getting closer. He thought to himself. He slowed his running down to a stop as he entered a fairly large room. The howling that once seemed was feet from him, and increasing, had gone silent. He waited in place for a moment, and slowly began to walk out in the middle of the room. All at once, a cacophony of roars and shouts echoed all throughout the mountain as Kio saw a multitude of these creatures running at him at full stride. Kio quickly turned around and sprinted for the path he entered the room from.

The creatures were pouring out from small holes within the walls he passed through, as Kio estimated the amount of creatures in pursuit of him in the thousands. They knew he had killed one of their own, and were intent on repaying the favor. Nearly tripping over small pieces of debris that lined the pathway to the surface, Kio continued to dash at full speed towards safety. Once the moonlight of the Yon became a sufficient source of light, Kio threw the black stick backwards, in hope to distract some of the creatures who were in pursuit of him. The exit was in sight.

Nami was easily able to carry the corpse of the Meinru by placing him over her shoulder. The creatures were small in stature and light in weight, being no heavier than several bundles of wood carried from the Bouldenar Forest. She began her walk across the Tehlam, with the moonlight being her only guide, but she stopped as she began to hear loud cries coming from within the mountain. Being barely fifty feet outside the caves, she stood there, worried for Kio.

No more than a minute after first noticing the screams from within the mountain, she saw Kio, bolting out from within the mountain. On his heels were thousands of the Meinru.

“Nami, run!” Kio shouted to her, as he quickly closed the special gap between the two of them. Nami then, ignoring the weight of the creature on her shoulder, began to run across the sands of the Tehlam. While the two were virtually equal in their physique, Kio was slightly faster than Nami, and caught up to her without much issue. As the running continued, even with their growing fatigue from maintaining such speeds for a fairly long time period, the gap between the Meinru and the humans began to grow. After twenty-or-so minutes of pursuit, the horde of creatures stopped, and, upon noticing this, Kio and Nami did the same.

They turned around to face their pursuers, who did not as much as acknowledge them. With the same intensity put forth in the chase was now exerted from them as the creatures retreated back towards the Heicynth. Nami looked at Kio, yet said nothing. He knew what she was thinking. Initially, they walked back toward the sleeping village, but, upon realizing the time before sunrise was nearing an end, picked up their pace in order to return to the village before dawn. All of this, though, was taken in silence.

The two arrived back at the town while the sun had yet to break the horizon. Sneaking in at this hour was the easiest of all. The current on-duty guards were tired and weary from the nights watch, and the new regime has yet to take post. When the two neared the town, Nami grew tired from carrying the creature, and Kio took the burden from her. This was just what he wanted. He knew that Nami would try to hide the corpse away and give it to the local doctors for study, hoping that they would understand the circumstances and, for the sake of medical research, keep the secret among themselves. Kio, however, had everything planned far differently.

“Kio, where are you heading? We need to take this body somewhere hidden until we decide what to do with it.” Nami whispered to Kio, taking precautions against the possibility for someone to overhear their conversation. Kio did not respond, but continued heading in the direction he was already walking in – towards the village elders. Pounding his fist on the wooden doors that worked as the entrance to the house of the elders, Kio stood and waited for a response. Waiting only seconds, he pounded against the door again. As Kio began to ready his hand for another barrage of hits upon the door, the sound of the creaking door hinges satisfied him. Routay opened the door, and welcomed in the two.

“Sir, we were attacked this night. I fully understand we are to stay within the bounds of the village, especially during the night hours, but we were simply unable to sleep and needed to clear our minds. While we were out on the Tehlam, a band of Meinru attacked Nami and I. While I easily overpowered them in strength and subdued the creatures, we cannot sit idle and let this happen.” Kio stated to Routay, nudging Nami several times during his speech in the hopes that she would sit quiet – and that she did.

“You children were wrong in your decision to leave the boundaries of the village after dark. But this issue of the Meinru cannot be ignored. What do you propose, Kio?” Routay responded to Kio, awaiting his answer.

“I propose we engage this vermin in an all-out war of extermination. As made known by my ability to easily overtake several of these creatures alone, if we amass a force of our villagers, these creatures stand no chance. We saw one of these who escaped and ran back towards the Heicynth, and that is where I believe these creatures reside. The longer we wait on this issue, sir, the longer we sit open for attack. Whoever strikes first shall be victorious, and I pray you agree with me.” Kio replied, hoping for agreement on the matter.

“I shall take the matter up with the other elders, and will make a statement to the village over the course of the day. We shall not take this matter lightly. And I am going to ask you to leave the corpse with us; we have our reasons, I hope you understand.” Routay said in return.

“We can do that.” Kio replied, dropping the limp corpse to the floor of the room. Exchanging bows, Routay dragged the dead Meinru within the depths of the council hall and the two exited the building.

After exiting the council hall and finding an area where no unwanted ears could hear them, Nami expressed her disapproval.

“Kio, that was wrong and you know it. We were the ones who attacked them. We are the ones who are on the verge of destroying their race! You went in there and lied to the elders, and now another race may have to pay for your wrongdoings. This is on your conscious, and I refuse to be a part of whatever fate you have condemned these creatures to.” Nami shouted, as she stomped off in another direction.

The day wore on slowly, with Kio not running into Nami once throughout it. Whispers flowed through the village about what had happened the past night, and people began to know that war with the Meinru may be imminent. The sun was high in the sky when the message went out to the entire village.

“As some of you may already know, an attack on two of our villagers was done by a band of Meinru last night. As a result, tonight, we will attack and eliminate the Meinru from existence, killing every last one of them. All who wish to take part in the battle are to report to the barracks within the next two hours. We march for the Heicynth at sunset.” Thece, the village messenger, said aloud.

Shortly after the message was broadcast to the village, people began flowing into the barracks, grabbing swords, shields, bows, and pole arms; while the sorcerers and magicians began to gather up their most powerful offensive spells, talismans, and summons for the battle that night. They were not looking for a fight, but a massacre. Kio knew what was about to happen was wrong, but he didn’t care. He did care, though, about the location of Nami. While the village was not a small community, finding an individual was not tough among the twelve-thousand members of the tribe. Due to his birth omen and Nami’s blessing, and the vital role each of these individuals would play in the future of the village, four assistants had been given to share between the two of them, and these assistants were there to do whatever they needed at any hour. They had long gone un-used, but Kio needed them. After gathering his weapons for the night’s siege, he went searching the village for several minutes until he ran into one of his assistants.

“Ahbrin,” Kio began as he encountered the first of his assistants, “I need you to do something for me. Go and gather the other three and find Nami. Once you have located her, tell me of her whereabouts. I’ll be expecting the report when we return from battle tonight.” Kio finished.

“Aye, sir.” Ahbrin responded, leaving to find the other three as soon as his salute to Kio was responded with a nod.

Kio decided to ignore the matter for the moment, seeing as more pressing issues were at hand.

The remaining hours of the day passed quickly with all the buzz of the day; and, as soon as night fell, the soldiers gathered at the eastern border of the village. Over three-thousand men and women showed up for the battle, armed with their weapons to engage the enemy. As the hour of attack had finally come, Routay had to speak with the brigade once more before sending them off to war.

“Our objective is simple: exterminate the Meinru. It has become apparent that the two races cannot live in peace with each other, so we are taking action! With Kio as our example, we overpower these demons and we shall not lose. Seeing as he is the only one within the brigade who has seen where these creatures reside, I am placing Kio in charge of you all. You have at your disposal the villages top magicians, specialized in both offensive and restorative battle tactics. I pray Al-Shon keep watch over you all. Good luck.” Routay finished, giving Kio free reign over the troops.

“Everyone, there is a small opening within the base of the Heicynth. We are going to head east across the Tehlam, engage and kill any Meinru encountered along the way, and exterminate the remainder within the mountain itself. Do not spare even the smallest of these creatures. I am officially giving a kill-on-sight action to be taken against any Meinru you see. Follow me, for I shall lead us across the Tehlam, into the heart of the Heicynth, and toward a future without the Meinru – may Al-Shon watch over us all.” Kio finished, as he began his walk across the Tehlam.

A constant chatter was present within the brigade as the Heicynth grew closer in view as the walk went on. Several shouts of people claiming to see what they thought were Meinru in the distance killed the chatter, but it resumed once they found out what they claimed as a Meinru was simply a rock or cacti growing amidst the desert. Once Kio announced a visual on the entrance several hundred feet to the east, the chatter died down to a lull whisper.

Kio lifted his hand toward the sky, signaling a halt in the march toward the mountain.

“From this point on, we are running full stride to the heart of the Meinru. The magicians should have handed several of you a flara, and I want those of you who have been given those to light them once we enter. It will be dark within the mountain, and we’ll need all the light we can get once the Yon ceases to guide us. Now let us move. Al-Shon, keep watch over us.” Kio shouted, and, with that, Kio and the brigade of troops ran full speed into the heart of the mountain.

As they entered the depths of the mountain, sounds of continuous explosions went off as those wielding a flara struck them against the rock walls, igniting them. Initially, the waves of Meinru encountered were few and thin, but grew thicker and more aggressive as the fight went deeper and deeper within the mountain. Keeping the fact that Kio had already been in the depths of the Heicynth known to only himself, he led them on the correct path, blaming instinct and inspiration from Al-Shon. Hacking through every single Meinru encountered with their superior weapons and skill, the soldiers of Maicu managed to exterminate these vermin without a single casualty. Kio ordered several groups to spread out throughout the tunnels excavated by these creatures, in order to ensure the death of all the creatures they found.

One corridor remained un-attacked. Within the deepest depths of the Heicynth, a small band of the Meinru still stayed, frantically running about. All the groups of soldiers, through the different paths of extermination they were instructed to follow, all funneled out into this room. Within this room lied the Titan Sphere of the histories. Many had thought it to be simply legend, while another group thought it did not exist at all. Contrary to common belief, it did exist, and was seen by thousands of men and women. Ordering all the men and women of the brigade to hold, Kio lifted his hand in the air. He wanted to be the first of his people to touch the Titan Sphere, and the one to exterminate the last of the Meinru. He then slowly slid down a rocky descent into the center of the room, where the last five remaining Meinru stood huddled around the Titan Sphere.

Grasping his sword in one hand and his flara in the other, he quietly approached the Meinru. Without a second thought, he began to lay waste to these creatures, cleaving through four of them with one strike of his blade. One remained; one sole representative for a race that, for being so weak, threatened the people of the Maicu for many years. Facing away from the Meinru who was ignoring the fact that his four comrades had just been slain, Kio addressed his people.

“Today, we end a race. We are here to kill a people, and end the fear that enveloped our village. With the slaying of this last vermin, I have ended the even Meinru and exterminated their race. Watch now, as I do the deed. These creatures shall fall into the books of the unknown, and be removed from the face of the earth.” Kio shouted to his people, as he turned around, and, in one motion, sliced the head from the torso of the creature, and it fell limp to the ground.

The room was silent for a moment, when the silence was suddenly broken. Not by one of the men or women of their brigade, nor by a cheer of one of their magicians, but by an infant’s cry – a human infant. Kio looked down in horror at the sight on the ground next to the Titan Sphere. An infant child, who must have been born only moments before their arrival, lay crying on the ground.

“Kio,” Blin, one of the magicians of the brigade began, “There is a message scrawled on the wall here, but it is not of foreign text. It is written in common text, and I believe you all should hear what it has to say:

From the histories, ever since our people have

been established, we have been cursed. If only our

forefathers had not found this ill-fated sphere within

the depths of this mountain, only then, could we

maintain our humanity. This language has been passed

down through our people, only taught to the leaders

by those who preceded them. We still bear human children, for

that is our heritage, but that is where our human-nature

ends. We still dedicate our children to Al-Shon in the hopes

that they shall not share the same cursed fate,

but this all has proven futile. As we place them around

the Titan Sphere in a dedication ceremony, all have turned

to the likeness of the Meinru. Their skin has mutated and their

eyes have turned black. We shall continue, as a people,

to dedicate our children to You, in the hopes that, one

day, our damnation shall end and the human children

we bear shall remain in their pure form.

I pray Al-Shon keep watch over us.

A silent guilt passed over the people of the brigade, as Blin walked down toward the crystal in the middle and grabbed the child in his arms.

“Kio, what have we done?” Blin asked to Kio, loud enough for the entire people to hear. Kio merely stood there, un-responsive. “Kio?” Blin inquired again, and again, no response. Then, out of nowhere, Kio began to scream. He screamed and shrieked louder than any noise heard by the villagers. He began to convulse as he fell to the floor, unable to get up. The villagers present watched helplessly as Blin attempted to calm Kio. The spasms increased in intensity, and the screams followed suit. Kio’s back shot forward and his skin began to rapidly turn black, as if a disease began to overtake his body. His screams began to resemble a beast more so than humans as they continued on, his shrieks mutating to roars of anger and pain. A large mass began to sprout from his naval and connected itself near the collar bone of Kio, and as the darkness spread all throughout Kio’s body and up onto his face, his eyes turned black as well. He then let out a roar parallel with those given off by the Meinru when faced with the humans.

“It is apparent that, by whatever demon may have possessed you, Kio, that you are no longer the man that entered this mountain with us. You gave us an order, sir, an order to kill any Meinru on sight. I am simply following orders.” Kuto, one of the members of the Maicu brigade shouted, as he unsheathed his sword and ran towards the beast once called Kio. With the same ease of fighting the Meinru they had exterminated, with one slash of his blade, Kuto brought Kio to the ground. With one final laceration, Kuto ended the life of the man who led them to exterminate this race.

The remainder of the Maicu brigade made their way out of the labyrinth of tunnels back to the surface, leaving the corpse of Kio, be it man or beast, behind. As the last of the members made their way out of the innards of the Heicynth, they all stood for a moment, unsure of what they should do next.

“This mountain is evil. From the objects birthed within it, to the creatures that thrived on its energy, it should be labeled as one of the forbidden. Let us take from the sides of this mountain its rock, and with that rock, close forever the entrance into the heart of the mountain.” Kuto stated to the people, and, one by one, they followed him as he walked to the side of the mountain and began grabbing stones to place in the entryway.

The hours passed, and, by sunset, the entrance had been sealed shut. The Maicu people were exhausted at this point, having spent near an entire day fighting then sealing the only pathway in or out of where the violence took place. As the sun finally hid away behind the horizon line, and the three moons became the dominating presence of the night sky, the members of the Maicu brigade began the long trek back home across the Tehlam desert.

Copyright Bradley Clark 2009

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A bit of unsolicited advice. Tolkien was a philologist. He succeeds in large part because there is a rationale and a consistency behind his fictional names and languages. For instance, the names in the Shire are native English. When you reach Bree, the names have become Celtic. Dwarvish public names are Norse, but their private tongue has aspects of Semitic. The black tongue of Mordor is similar to Old Turkic. The language of Rohan is Anglo-Saxon. Distance and familiarity play off each other in our subconscious. Even Tolkien's entirely made up Quenya and Sindarin names have etymologies, can be translated from one to the other, and make sense. Many of Tolkien's Quenya and Sindarin roots even have similarities to Nostratic roots at a greater remove from Indo-European.

There is a temptation to use created names to add a touch of the exotic to one's stories. I see you have some fam iliarity with the forms of various language families. Al-shon is obviously pseudo-Arabic. Heicynth is pseudo-Greek. Miuwatsu is psuedo-Japanese. Rous and Taylin are British sounding forms. Why, one asks, is there such a random amalgam of Terran languages on this planet, and why these specific ones?

There are many websites on line about how to make up a foreign language. I can't specifically recommend any one, since I was doing this myself long before there was the internet. But some of them I have browsed have been of interest. Are you familiar with the IPA? Have you taken a course in introductory linguistics? Comparitive and Historical linguistics? (Fromkin and Rodman is an accessible general handbook.) Have you read Anthony Burgess's A Mouthful of Air? I would suggest you study some really exotic languages, Lyovin's Introduction to the Languages of the World is a great overview with sketches including the exotic Inuit and Quechua. Comrie's Languages of the World is exhaustive in its treatment although it is limited to old-world languages with a large number of speakers. Study the exotic tongues like Nivkh, and Burushaski and Chechen and Blackfoot. Names that come from a created language based on one of these tongues will sound exotic without sounding hackneyed, like the Elfstones of Shanara.

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I will be commenting as I go through it. So far so good. If there is a typo, do you wish to know about it? For example,

in Par. 1, " [is?] that detail that inspired the two to venture out in search of the unknown."


That struck me by the third paragraph and I also liked the Al-Shon which made me more aware of the disparate language sets. Not knowing them the way you do, but it was subconsciously dissonant.

In Dune,et. al., which I love, the language had a cultural integrity while sounding whole. Is that what you were alluding to?

IPA stands for ?.

And I will always look at a linguistics or language website.


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I'm not even out of high school, let alone in college where I could take such a class. And in regards to the names of my characters, I know that they need some work to sound as if they are all from the same general geographical area, as well as several locations. I just put in names to personify the characters, rather than write in Person A, Person B, Mountain D, etc., and had intended to change several of them to add flow to the styles of the names, but I chose working on a new short story over refining the one I currently had to better practice writing and exorcise my creativity.


I would have liked to put further work into the story to have some sort of fluid cultural influence on all the names in the story, but, as stated above, I am going at work on another short story rather than edit this one. So was I alluding to some sort of influence? Possibly subconsciously if that was picked up, but not intentionally. And thanks for the advice, I'll be sure to periodically check a language / linguistics site while creating names for characters and locations in the future to create a sense of order in that respect.


Edited by bradbradallen
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I'm not even out of high school, let alone in college where I could take such a class. And in regards to the names of my characters, I know that they need some work to sound as if they are all from the same general geographical area, as well as several locations. I just put in names to personify the characters, rather than write in Person A, Person B, Mountain D, etc., and had intended to change several of them to add flow to the styles of the names, but I chose working on a new short story over refining the one I currently had to better practice writing and exorcise my creativity.


I would have liked to put further work into the story to have some sort of fluid cultural influence on all the names in the story, but, as stated above, I am going at work on another short story rather than edit this one. So was I alluding to some sort of influence? Possibly subconsciously if that was picked up, but not intentionally. And thanks for the advice, I'll be sure to periodically check a language / linguistics site while creating names for characters and locations in the future to create a sense of order in that respect.


I do enjoy the fact that you did make an effort linɡuistically. You have to realize I am a picky snob. As for beinɡ in hiɡhschool, don't you have a library? Look up books on linɡuistics. If they still have him on the shelf you should enjoy Mario Pei, (he wrote in the sixties and I read him in the eiɡhties) and the book I recommended on the linɡuistics thread, A Mouthful of Air, by Anthony Burɡess.

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  • 4 months later...


I'm not even out of high school, let alone in college where I could take such a class. And in regards to the names of my characters, I know that they need some work to sound as if they are all from the same general geographical area, as well as several locations. I just put in names to personify the characters, rather than write in Person A, Person B, Mountain D, etc., and had intended to change several of them to add flow to the styles of the names, but I chose working on a new short story over refining the one I currently had to better practice writing and exorcise my creativity.


I would have liked to put further work into the story to have some sort of fluid cultural influence on all the names in the story, but, as stated above, I am going at work on another short story rather than edit this one. So was I alluding to some sort of influence? Possibly subconsciously if that was picked up, but not intentionally. And thanks for the advice, I'll be sure to periodically check a language / linguistics site while creating names for characters and locations in the future to create a sense of order in that respect.


I do enjoy the fact that you did make an effort linɡuistically. You have to realize I am a picky snob. As for beinɡ in hiɡhschool, don't you have a library? Look up books on linɡuistics. If they still have him on the shelf you should enjoy Mario Pei, (he wrote in the sixties and I read him in the eiɡhties) and the book I recommended on the linɡuistics thread, A Mouthful of Air, by Anthony Burɡess.

Damn Ted:

I have not heard his name in a decade or two!

"Pei penned The America We Lost: The Concerns of a Conservative (1968), a book advocating individualism, constitutional literalism, and other paleoconservative principles. In the book, Pei denounces the income tax, as well as communism and other forms of collectivism.

Mario Pei was also an internationalist who advocated the introduction of Esperanto into school curricula across the world to supplement local languages."


Edited by Selene
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