Marianne Williamson on Self-Esteem

[Dennis Hardin]

I heard radio talk host Larry Elder recite this quote a few days ago, then found it on the internet. The author is Marianne Williamson. I have been so inspired by it that I could not resist posting it here. When you read it, I think you will see why I chose to post it here in the Branden corner. (I modified it slightly to remove two references to God which were utterly gratuitous.)

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We are born to make manifest the glory of the best within us.

It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

[Barbara Branden]

Dennis, I have had the first three lines of that quote in my journal of favorite quotes ever since I discovered it a few years ago.

Barbara

[gary williams]

I am an avid collector of quotes. I have been ever since I was a kid.

I really like this one and like Barbara said the first three lines are keepers.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

A long time ago, something happened in my life and a thought simular to these three lines crudely came into my mind. I understood! It was cathartic!

The fear ran away in fear, because I turned my ego, my self-esteem loose. The 'I' in me came out and he was ready to rumble. He had places to go and things to do!

I became bulletproof.

And now, it is so very good to be me.

gw

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

This reminds me of my old gig. I have produced a lot of pop artists and there is a syndrome they call in Brazil "fear of success." This is when all the artist has to do is practically nothing but follow people pointing the way and he/she screws up big time doing all kinds of crazy stuff - including drugs, booze, sex, even attempted suicide.

Learning to produce meant learning how to deal with this. I literally had to become the self-esteem of others and provide them with security so they could perform. I did it well, but it almost drove me nuts. I managed to guide a few into dealing with this themselves and they made up for the crazies.

I fight this impulse inside myself at times.

Michael

[C. Jordan]

I wonder how a real-life Howard Roark relates to this particular fear. This is the sort of thing that makes me wonder. Perhaps all the hostility, the stupidity of people, and the Toohey plots, were small compared to a fear of success. Does this fit anyone's picture of Roark?

An unanswered question about Roark: how precisely did he deal with such fears? How do we deal with fears like that?

I have plenty of them. I can only imagine what to do when I have a finished manuscript. I think I know then the real challenge begins.

The floor is open.

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Chrys,

Roark repressed these fears. There is a scene when he is in his office with no commissions coming in for months. He realizes how desperately he wants the telephone to ring, but he shuts out his feelings. Also, there is the time he discovered that Dominique was going to marry Peter Keating. He shut himself out.

This is one aspect of Rand's heroes that did not work for me in real life - and God knows I tried. I find NB's approach of owning up to your emotions and dealing with them much healthier.

What I found out with repression was that when I denied a painful emotion, the price was terrible further down the road. The best example I can give is the craving of addiction, although this is by far not the only one. It is merely clear in terms of consequence.

I repressed the craving instead of admitting it and dealing with it many times when trying to stop. (The best way I found to deal with it was put it in a special place best characterized by "handing it over to the will of a higher power" at the time I was feeling it, despite not actively believing in any one particular higher power.)

The result of repressing the craving was always an almost somnambulistic trance where I would relapse, but with sweating and the shakes bringing the trance on. It was very real and completely overpowering. Then I would go on a binge for a couple of weeks.

Only when I started admitting and dealing with those bad feeling was I able to keep clean long enough to finally get out of addiction. (And craving was tricky, too, because it attacked for years after I stopped.)

I have found that this process works with fear, disappointment, etc., much the same way. I normally do not experience depressions anymore because I face my bad emotions and deal with them.

I most emphatically do not recommend repressing bad emotions the way Roark did.

Michael