Authentic and Civil Objectivist Living in a Social World

[Paul Mawdsley]

Authentic and Civil Objectivist Living in a Social World

by Paul Mawdsley

As much as I love ideas, I don't think life, or Objectivist living, is only about ideas. It's also about passion and creativity and intuition and humour and feelings and egos and self-esteem. We talk about the need to focus on the ideas. I understand why it is said we need to focus on the ideas. It is never a pretty sight to see things degenerate into name calling and character attacks. I just think it is important to learn and to demonstrate how to deal with this other stuff like grown-ups also. I think it is in coping with this other stuff that Objectivism most needs to grow up. As such, I think a too narrow focus on “the ideas,” on the rational discussions, is part of the problem. We need to explore and understand these other elements of life also, especially in terms of appropriate social conduct.

To borrow from Branden: "Context determines what state of consciousness is appropriate." If Objectivism is a philosophy for living, then it has to be more than just about the ideas. It has to also be about all kinds of actions and interactions. There is no doubt there are some contexts where sticking to the ideas is ideal. However, many contexts call for us to express more of ourselves than just our ideas. Sticking to the ideas at all costs has short-term benefits with long term costs.

It reminds me of the belief many people have on entering parenthood. They don't want to get angry with their kids. Then, realizing this is unrealistic, they decide they don't want to show their anger with their kids. Instead, they try to maintain an even keel. They try to remain emotionally detached and rational so as not to release their anger in ways they consider inappropriate. Unable to maintain this, they find themselves having to deal with their guilt for being unable to “will” themselves into a state of being that is unauthentic and unhealthy. I’m sure there is many a parent today that feels guilty for being unable to remain emotionally detached and rational when they are physically and emotionally exhausted from being Atlas unable to morally shrug, and facing the demon side of their child. It’s hard enough to support the weight of the world without having to do it while being slapped with guilt for your “imperfection.” The point is, this is the wrong approach to parenting and to life.

The standard of healthy biological and psychological existence is integration. A person is psychologically healthy to the degree he or she has an integrated (as opposed to disintegrated or segmented) psyche. Any approach to life that requires evasion, repression, denial, or disowning to practice it consistently is wrong because these are the very actions that produce the segmentation of the psyche (and proactive growth of the subconscious). An integrated psyche requires that we be aware of, own and integrate our various motivations, our various ways of interpreting reality, our various ways of perceiving reality, and all the information contained in our motivations, interpretations, and perceptions. This means that repressing or disowning parts of the self as a means to maintain short term benefits (ie. the integrity of the owned-- conscious-- part of the self), costs us dearly in the long run. Maintaining the integrity of the segment of myself I identify as “me” by increasing the size of the segment of myself that is disowned is the path to psychological disintegration, segmenting and contributes to submerging more and more parts of the self into the subconscious.

We should authentically be who we are. We should authentically experience what we experience. We should feel what we feel, see what we see, and think what we think. And we should work like hell to put all these pieces together. We should pay attention to how all this affects our actions so we can integrate our actions with our goals.

With children, this means we should allow ourselves to feel and express our anger. I’m not saying tear-off and beat the kids. I’m saying, if you’re angry, be angry. If you’re hurt, be hurt. If you’re sad, be sad. Don’t fake reality and don’t disown a part of yourself to fake it. Aside from learning how to fake themselves, all a child learns when you fake reality is that they can’t trust their own judgement of what ought to be the parents’ behaviour and what is the parents’ behaviour. It undermines the child’s sense of reality, and with it, his self-confidence. Don’t fake it but be prepared to explain it and help the child process and understand it. Imagine a child who never had to cope with anger before she went out into the world on her own. She would be completely unprepared and bewildered, and would have no loving parent to guide them through the process of understanding people's anger.

On a forum such as this, we should be just as real, just as authentic. If you’re pissed-off, be pissed-off. We shouldn’t fake it to placate to someone’s sensibilities. Nor should we just become emotionally detached rational beings to save the clashing of passions. Passion, creativity, humour, feelings, and egos bring colour to our lives. Living without these would be very dull.

How do we honour our authentic selves and live civilly with others in a community? We base our social interactions on the assumed validity and value of every individual participating. We hold mutual respect and consideration as our highest social value. This is what it means, in a social context, to regard others as an end in themselves. We recognize that others ought to honour their authentic selves also. We see others as a source of information, not as a threat. We strive to understand, not attack. We be who we are and not just what others see us as being. We try to understand who others are, not just make them into a strawman so they are easier to attack. We realize that their perspectives have just as much importance in their eyes as ours do in our eyes. We understand that the same reality seen from different angles can be difficult to recognize but is still the same reality. And we can gain new insights from understanding but not from devaluing other angles on reality. We demand justice when someone’s intrinsic validity and value are disrespected but we do not do so by disrespecting someone’s intrinsic validity and value.

The skills necessary to live relatively in harmony in a social world while authentically expressing passion and creativity and intuition and humour and feelings and egos and self-esteem are not easy to come by. However, not allowing these parts of ourselves into our social dynamics, suppressing them, is not the answer. We need to practice managing them in a civilized way. I have seen much evidence of this authentic self-expression and civil self-management already on Objectivist Living. This is one of the things that I think has been missing in some parts of Objectivism’s past. This authentic self-expression and civil self-management needs to be nurtured here, not suppressed in the interests of “focussing on the ideas.” I love ideas but there is more to life.

Paul