Saudi tribe holds camel beauty pageant

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Saudi tribe holds camel beauty pageant

by Andrew Hammond

Reuters

April 27, 2007

This was just too quirky to resist. From the article:

This week, the Qahtani tribe of western Saudi Arabia has been welcoming entrants to its Mazayen al-Ibl competition, a parade of the "most beautiful camels" in the desolate desert region of Guwei'iyya, 120 km (75 miles) west of Riyadh.

"In Lebanon they have Miss Lebanon," jokes Walid, moderator of the competition's Web site. "Here we have Miss Camel."

. . .

Camels are also big business in a country where strict Islamic laws and tribal customs would make it impossible for women to take part in their own beauty contest.

Delicate females or strapping males who attract the right attention during this week's show could sell for a million or more riyals. Sponsors have provided 10 million riyals ($2.7 million) for the contest, cash that also covers the 72 sports utility vehicles to be will be awarded as prizes.

. . .

"The nose should be long and droop down, that's more beautiful," explains Sultan al-Qahtani, one of the organizers. "The ears should stand back, and the neck should be long. The hump should be high, but slightly to the back."

. . .

Some females have harnesses strapped around their genitalia to thwart any efforts by the males to mount them. One repeat offender called Marjaa has been moved away.

"This one would fetch a million!" says Hamad al-Sudani, a camel-driver, admiring the heavy stud, or fahl.

In Brazil, they have a saying that if you don't have a dog to hunt with, you use a cat. So it goes in Saudi Arabia, but with a variation: camels replace women in beauty pageants because of the religion. How's that for an unexpected drawback to Islam? Still, the bucks are big, so it's proven that the idea has caught on.

I wonder where else they replace women with camels...

It kinda adds a new spin on the old cigarette commercial: "I'd walk a mile for a camel."

Michael

[BaalChatzaf]

[i wonder where else they replace women with camels...

It kinda adds a new spin on the old cigarette commercial: "I'd walk a mile for a camel."

Michael

Now, now. In the U.S. and England they have dog shows, cat shows and horse shows. The horses have to -do- something to earn their prizes like jump or race. In the dog and cat shows all the animals need do is be beautiful according to the aesthetics of their breed.

Ba'al Chatzaf

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Bob,

That's just it. Horses have to do something. Cats and dogs are animals primarily for affection, so pretty is pertinent.

But pretty camels? Maybe if we had a mule or ox show for beauty in mules or oxes, that might be similar (beast of burden and all).

Besides, Western religions do not prohibit women from competing for beauty. Western aesthetics, though, probably prohibit camels and mules and oxes from competing for beauty.

How about a pretty hog show?

Michael

[BaalChatzaf]

How about a pretty hog show?

Michael

Sooooouuuuueiiii! Chwaaahkk, Chwaaaahkk. The 4-H puts on hawg shows all the time. For many a farm-boy their sows are their first girl friends.

Ba'al Chatazaf

[Chris Grieb]

Michael; In Islam hogs are considered unclean so they couldn't have a pretty hog contest.

I have been told by followers of Islam that they don't think highly of dogs either.

It is worth noting that dog shows did not come along until dogs were not exclusively for useful purposes. Dogs had to become "pets".

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

For many a farm-boy their sows are their first girl friends.

Bob,

This really belongs in humor, but you reminded me of a Brazilian joke.

A newspaper reporter went to Serra Pelada in the state of Pará back during the gold rush (in the 1980s) to report on the life of gold miners. He noticed that in Curionópolis, the small gold mining town that was just starting, there were no women. Part of his assignment was to spend a month there and, as he was a normal young adult with hormones going full blast, this became a problem. He stayed at a small flea-bag hotel. After about 3 or 4 days, he asked the hotel proprietor:

"Where are the women around here?"

"Women don't come here," said the proprietor. "It is too dangerous."

"Well, what about sex?"

"Oh. Well, look around. There are goats and chickens and pigs and other animals."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. Try one. They're good."

So the reporter decided to analyze the situation for a while. Over the next few days he noticed gold miners grabbing an animal and hurrying off somewhere with it, then returning with a satisfied look. So he finally decided to test the waters. He had noticed a cute little pig on the outskirts of the town. It was not very big, had a teasing twinkle to its eyes and squealed almost seductively.

The reporter went out to get the pig, picked it up and started carrying it back to the hotel. On the way, he noticed that some miners looked at him in awe, some sniggered, others whispered to each other and generally they were wide-eyed. This started irking him. He knew that he had been set up. So he stormed back to the hotel, ears red from embarrassment and anger, with the pig under his arm. The hotel proprietor looked at him incredulously and threw his arms up.

"Are you crazy? What are you doing with that pig in here?"

This really made the reporter mad. He pointed a finger at the proprietor and bellowed, "You were the one who told me that miners sleep with animals!"

The proprietor, eyes ablaze, yelled back, "But not with the sheriff's sweetheart!"

Michael

[Judith]

In the U.S. and England they have dog shows, cat shows and horse shows. The horses have to -do- something to earn their prizes like jump or race. In the dog and cat shows all the animals need do is be beautiful according to the aesthetics of their breed.

Well, not quite.

First of all, there are all kinds of shows, and classes within those shows, for horses. Most of them entail doing something, but many of them also have classes in which the horses are shown stripped of all tack except a halter or bridle so that the horse's conformation can be evaluated.

Second, dog shows are also divided into conformation ("breed") and performance classes, such as obedience, agility, herding, lure coursing, schutzhund, etc.

Third, the conformation classes aren't entirely aesthetics, although much of that comes into play, especially in terms of the head. Conformation is supposed to follow function in terms of the purpose for which the breed of dog or horse was originally developed. And the purpose of holding these classes is to select future breeding stock, not simply to say, "My dog's prettier than yours", although many people see it that way. Breeders develop a vision of what they consider to be the perfect Irish Setter, or Cardigan Welsh Corgi, or Trakehner, or Quarter Horse, or whatever, and invest a great deal of effort researching bloodlines to try to breed an animal that resembles that ideal vision. They bring their stock to shows to (1) show off their efforts, and (2) subject their efforts to peer review.

It is worth noting that dog shows did not come along until dogs were not exclusively for useful purposes. Dogs had to become "pets".

Quite the contrary; herding competitions, etc. have been around for a long time.

For many a farm-boy their sows are their first girl friends.

This really belongs in humor, but you reminded me of a Brazilian joke.

Sigh. You started it... :devil:

There was this guy who went to a house of prostitution. The madam said, "All the girls are quite busy tonight. I'm afraid all we have left is this duck."

"A duck!" the guy answered. "Are you crazy? I'm not going to have sex with a duck!"

"Well, she's all we have left, and she's a really pretty duck...."

Well, this guy hadn't had sex in a very long time, having just come off of an oil rig, so he reconsidered and said, "Oh, well, okay. Show me to the lovely little hen."

So he went into a room and had his way with the duck.

About a week later, he got to thinking about it, and said to himself, "You know, that wasn't too bad. I think I'll go back there."

So he went back and asked the Madam for the duck. She said, "Well, she's busy tonight, and so are all the other girls. I'm afraid all we have available tonight is the peephole room. You pay a fee and get to watch a live sex show."

So he said, "Okay, I'll go for that."

He paid his money and went into a room with a bunch of stools situated at little peepholes, sat down, and began to watch. Through the peephole he saw two women making love to a man.

"Man, this is really great!" he said to the guy on the stool next to him.

"Hah, this is nothing," said the other guy. "Last week we watched this guy having sex with a duck."

Edited May 4, 2007 by Judith

[Chris Grieb]

Judith,

Great joke!

I stand corrected about the herding competitions.