I'm so tired of winter in Chicago

[Kat]

GONNA BE A BEAR

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life,

I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.

You do nothing but sleep for six months!

I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat

yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children

(who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping

and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.

I could definitely deal with that.

If you're mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.

You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.

If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.

I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.

He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

YUP, GONNNA BE A BEAR!!

[Philip Coates]

Kat, this is great! This is publishable quality...and it's the kind of thing people will remember. It's simple, funny, clear, people can identify with it. It's the kind of writing that works.

Kat, you need to submit this various places...it will be published. It's that good!!!

Phil

[Kat]

Thanks Phil, but I can't take credit for this one. It is something a friend emailed to me after I told her I wanted to hibernate like a bear so I wouldn't have to deal with another winter in Chicago. It is already a joke in circulation, author unknown.

Kat