Bloodthirsty Assault with Brutal Peanut Butter

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Bloodthirsty Assault with Brutal Peanut Butter
 
You can't make this stuff up.
 
The cops held a lady without bail for assaulting her brother with a spoonful of peanut butter over their dog peeing in the living room.
 
Sister jailed for flinging peanut butter in argument over dog
by Daniel Dahm
Click Orlando
Dec. 24, 2013
 
From the article:
 

Rachel Byrd was arrested Monday on battery charges.
 
According to a Volusia County Sheriff's report, Byrd and her brother, 30-year-old Gabriel Byrd, began arguing around 2 a.m. because the dog was urinating in the living room of the house shared by the siblings.
 
Deputies said Rachel Byrd flung a spoonful of peanut butter at her brother, and someone called 911 but hung up. A dispatcher called back but no one answered, so a deputy was sent to the home, officials said.
 
The deputy said the brother did not want to press charges against his sister, but the deputy noted that peanut butter was running down his face.
 
Rachel Byrd had a cut on her leg from the dog, but the deputy determined that she was the aggressor and arrested her.
 
She was being held without bail at the Volusia County Branch Jail.

 

(Note--There is more quoted here than I normally like to do, but the notice is so short, I believe it is within fair use. And Click Orlando gets some link love.)

 

At least, in the video it seems Byrd has been released.

 

I'll never look at a spoonful of peanut butter the same. You may think it's a yummy treat, but now I know it's a deadly weapon.

 

Wake up, people!

 

 

Michael

[Selene]

That this even "qualifies" as "news" is evidence that "news" is now a semi...entertainment event.

[BaalChatzaf]

Was this put out by Daily Onion?