Clark Mansion

Yes, I agree with you that love can be "for the sake of the other", without it being a sacrifice. In that sense I like to complement Ayn Rand's Aristotelian love of "enlightened self-interest" with Erich Fromm's "brotherly love" as described in his "Art of Loving". That being said, my question in this thread was somewhat on the side of this issue. My question was about the transition from Protestant Christian Altruist self-sacrifical ethics and towards a healthy, life-affirmative type of living that yields proper self-esteem and love. A big problem with the Lutheran self-sacrifical ethics is that one is only valued for self-sacrifice. Which means that one doesn't get to experience that others can enjoy to be with oneself and find value in oneself for who one is - who one is without sacrificing oneself. Who one is when one acts in one's enlightened or rational self-interest. This switch in morals from Lutheran to Aristotelian is a revolution for the neurotic, and my question is if Rand has described how healing this switch of ethics can be for one's self-esteem, with particular regards to being valued by other people for being who one is without sacrifice.

I once heard someone say that what a neurotic needs is reference experience that he has worth in himself. Rather than only being valued for obedience. Or by getting "charity" from a white knight. Rand says something similar in the following quote: "Love is not self-sacrifice, but the most profound assertion of your own needs and values. It is for your own happiness that you need the person you love, and that is the greatest compliment, the greatest tribute you can pay to that person" I wonder if she or other objectivists has explained this as a way of healing somewhere? As in: act egoistically and not altruistically, and gain experience that who you are in your self while you act selfishly has value to other people. In that way you know that you have worth \, your self-esteem rises, and you don't have to rely on altruistic obedience for your self-esteem anymore.