"Not at all. In fact, I havne't once referred to respect from others. Instead, I've been referring to seeking the approval of others".
Well, yes. You've been referring to "seeking the approval of others"...in the face of perceived disrespect from those selfsame others. (Is your issue, then, with "seeking approval" -- as such -- , or is it "putting up with bad behavior"? I thought it was the latter )
For instance, upthread Kyle said, "Self-respect can't be taken or given by anyone. It is gained only by one's assessment of one's self and actions."
You replied, "Exactly. And would someone who assesses the degree of respect they deserve to be healthy subject themselves to disrespect just to gain someone elses favor?"
You usage of "deserve" here suggests you are referring to the actions of OTHERS in relation to YOU, not your own self-respect. To repeat what Kyle said, "Self-respect can't be given or taken by anyone." Regardless of one's own self-concept, the unpredictability of life and people ensures we will always have curveballs thrown at as. To get bent out of shape everytime someone or something doesn't go as we decree it "should", is a recipe for a pinched and constrained existence.
That said, I think you are stacking the deck here when you characterize the issue as one of seeking "social pittance", "social alms", "currying favor","approval from others", etc. The example given seems to show Machan originally requested Rand's participation in a project of his. Later, he called her up simply to express his gratitude, out of a sense of magnanimity I suppose. In the case of questionners at Ford Hall forums, the individuals were seeking knowledge. These are all objective values being sought, values which benefit the seeker concretely. None of this should be characterized as some social-metaphysical "oooooh, like me! please please like me!" as you have done here.
I understand the overall point is not about Rand or Machan, so lets imagine a neutral situation where the same dynamic occurs. Take a man who has to work to support himself, but is supervised by some asshole middle manager. Let's say the middle manager is a power-tripping Tiny Tyrant who ameliorates his unhappiness by being a prick to his underlings. A common situation. Is it "altruism" as you put it, for the employee to bite his toungue and be a good boy, in order to keep his job, in order to be self-sufficient? That answer depends on who you ask. It's obvious that many many people continue to endure such disrespect for the sake of whatever values they deem worthwhile. On the other hand, I am sure there are individuals who would say, "take this job and shove it" and strike out on their own. That's because people are different and have different value heirarchies (not to mention, different circumstancial contexts). There is no "right" answer here. To attempt to derive a one-size-fits-all principle out of the chaos is not objectivity, it's intrincism.