warriorprincess

Anyone who tries to be scientific about human behaviour is deluded....there are hidden agendas in all that we do and pay-offs, none of it can be found to be logic proof and the proof is that these people had deep flaws in their writings and personal life....but I dunno, people hold them up as paragons of thought Now I discover Barbara Rose who I trusted has her site linked to a bloody psychic.....I mean you can't trust anyone to give you the truth, which I suppose why people flit from one though to another, but you are not here to discuss this, you are all here to squabble about objectivist politics, so I'll turn the light off on this one. Yes, thanks for the Xena mention, although that isn't quite the reason I pick that name...and cats have grown on me over the years, but that is another story all connected with Mr UK of course!

I am amazed by all this. Last night, procrastinating, I pick up what must be my 20 year-old copy of "The Psychology of Self Love", because instead of studying I am plagued with trying to determine whether I have an incurable mental illness...the illness of loving my husband of nearly 16 years, who I love maturely, who loves me maturely and being stuck on a fantasy of a man I met on an adult dating site who lives in the U.K. (I live in Australia). I know that it is natural in life to suffer, yet I see so many people that don't suffer in this way, and lately I have turned to Barbara Rose, Ph.D., a spiritual author who has seen pain in her life, to make sense of my suffering. The rejection of me by the man who I obsessed about, sooned turned me into a promiscuous hypomaniac whore, in front of my husband and badly damaged my self-esteem. Finally I got an email out of him (through a friend contacting him on my behalf) and then went into severe depression, yet I never even, met, telephone chatted or cammed with this guy, so if anyone can attest to the power of online communications and relationships I can. Yet, despite all this, I fantasise about him and think about him all the time, to the detriment of the rest of my life. I can see another objectivist saying to me, well too bad, you have the mature love, yet it is no longer consummated or can no longer be realised physically - tough titties, just go on with it or leave him and find the love I deserve. Yeah right, as if love was just a matter of turning off the power cord on my marriage and then going down to the hardware store and finding a better machine, what utter rubbish and nonsense - as Albert Ellis would say, "The Martians would die laughing!" Then I read about Nathaniel Branden having an affair with Ayn Rand, then having other wives and now leaving his latest wife for a younger woman. I think OMG and I think I have problems!!! Perhaps I should just have the ECT that was recommended to me last year by my shrink and have my head zapped good and be done with it, though I have just read in Scientific American "Mind" (and I am supposed to be studying Neuroanatomy, among other things) that depression now appears to emanate from activity in area 25 of the cortex, so if I could wait until they realise they should only be able to have area 25 jolted, that would be heaps better. But, why is is that all these lauded people do weird things, even weirder than I have done? Albert Ellis - seemed to be a bit of a sex maniac in spite of telling everyone that they shouldn't be miserable about anything M. Scott Peck - now this really takes the cake and if he sues me for defamation, I will get the American Psychiatric Society to declare him unfit if someone hasn't already - stated in "The Road Less Travelled" that if he saw a need for him to have sex with a patient then he would - Sweet Lord to the men in white coats for that one! and Now Mr Branden - having an extra-marital with Ayn Rand and then a string of other marriages, hardly healthy stuff, is it? But I can find no solace anywhere, it is if my dilemma is existential as it is irrational and neurotic. I cannot help how attracted I am to this man, how thwarted I felt that I scared him off and he never wished to have anything more to do with me and thus I cannot get to know him better and posssibly have developed a more rational view of him. Yet it had to happen to me, little old "G", who had resigned herself to the reality of her marriage (sexually nothing and hubby only being interested in work and his hobby, not home improvement, kids, etc) and the fact that I had landed a wonderful man quite nicely before she overheard a dinner-party conversation about finding new love online and and then found this gorgeous man on an international adult site (yes I am not stupid, I found where he worked and did a bit of a background check on him out even though that can be considered stalking as he expressed no affection for me)...it is something about capturing what we can't have that is the core of human suffering....if we can't capture one thing (material success, whatever) then I guess we look for a substitute and yes none of us is altruistic....if we can't have one type of success we try to get it or sublimate it another way. But I wonder why I had to suffer the humiliation and indignity of a man who didn't even want to understand what motivated me to feel such intensity for him, when I tried to deal with it all myself and even sought forgiveness and understanding.. why the painful reality of being told by email among other things that "he had no feelings for me, never have and never will....... and to forget any notion of having anything to to do with him because he was never interested and never will be....) Yet he can merrily go-on and I guess if he is a decent guy he has either truthfully remarried (as he also told me in this painful email last year and the UK website I found him on is just a coincidence as his entry while showing his correct age is out of date) or he is happily having sex with any woman he can find, will stumble on a woman with a bit more substance and integrity sooner or later and eventually remarry! So I am stuffed but I decided to join this site as nobody is perfect, not me, not hubby, not Mr Branden, Not Miss Rand and no-one else....we just do the best we can with what is on our plate? BUT LIFE IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!! YET NOT ONCE HAVE I HEARD THIS MENTIONED IN ANY OF DR BRANDEN'S BOOKS. THE ONLY PSYCHIATRIST WHO ADMITS LIFE IS NOT FAIR IS DR ANDREW STANWAY OF THE U.K., IN HIS BOOK ABOUT FINDING REALISTIC SOLUTIONS TO LIVE, CALLED "INTIMATE SOLUTIONS" where he states that even if you are not having intercourse, but are exchaning other intimacies like kissing and cuddling (which we do) it is still having "sex", which my husband is quite happy with? Otherwise, if we seek perfection in relationships, we will ALWAYS be disappointed and look to get a new model, just as Dr Branden seems to do from time-to-time. Yet there are men on here who have been married to only one partner and profess to be a disciple of his (objectivist) thinking and that of his associates? I just don't get it!!!!!!!!!!!