Church Bulletins Goofs

[Ellen Stuttle]

I came across this while looking for something else. Too funny not to share.

It was sent to Larry and me and a few others February 4, 1996, by Karen Reedstrom (later Minto). Karen didn't say where she got it.

Hello everyone...

Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins:

"Don't let worry kill you - let the church help."

"Thursday night - potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow."

"Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community."

"For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs."

"The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer."

"This afternoon there will be a meeting at both ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends."

"Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early."

"Wednesday the ladies liturgy committee will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing 'Put me in my little bed', accompanied by the pastor."

"All ladies wishing to be 'Little Mothers' will meet with the Pastor in his study."

"This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar."

"The service will close with 'Little Drops of Water'. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in."

"Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so."

"The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday."

"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?'. Come early and listen to our choir practice."

Ellen

[caroljane]

Glorious. This had me rolling on the new carpet with cast off clothing.

[Selene]

Glorious. This had me rolling on the new carpet with cast off clothing.

So, let me get this straight, you cast off your clothing, got out of the rocker and twerked on the new carpet?

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[caroljane]

Rumours that I was accompanied by the pastor are untrue.