Michael Stuart Kelly

Self-Help for the Sporadic Day

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Self-Help for the Sporadic Day

Sometimes I come across self-help humor and want to share it, but don't know where to put it.

So why not a thread devoted to it?

Well, here it is.

Maybe this will grow and maybe it won't. That's why the day is sporadic. Like the great Yogi Berra said, "If you don't know where you're going, you might not get there."

So, folks, let's get this show on the road. Also, join me with your own gems of insight, won't you?

Wisdom about life's journey:

08.30.2015-17.29.png

:)

Michael

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Excellent Mikee...every boy understands that and it made my day!!!!

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Very cute! Fascinating how closely sheer enjoyment and wanting to learn something new of reality go together (and begins so early).

The combined message - remind oneself when on that "road less travelled", to lay down responsibility sometimes and have fun.

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If you travel the road less travelled and you don't know where you are--well, that's the whole point!

--Brant

once I got lost in the woods--I just kept going

BTW, Where TF am I?

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I sometimes hike through local fields. The land owners don’t mind because I will report anything that is amiss to them, and the connecting dirt roads between fields are public roads that are kept up by individual land owners by law. Soy bean fields can be a hassle to wade through if the individual plants are twining together but what can be a real challenge are corn fields. The rows are not necessarily straight. Many rows are curved and arced and may wind around preexisting ditches. And when the corn is as high as an elephant’s eye as it is this year, a hiker can get lost. I have spent a half an hour wandering before I reestablished my bearings.

The secret to navigation in a corn field is to know the direction of the sun, and align it with your destination. When you are not yet in the cornfield you can spot distant trees or radio towers but when the corn is too high to see over, as I mentioned, you can’t rely on the rows being straight lines. The time I wandered for a half an hour I eventually descended into a ten foot ditch which had no water, skinning my knee getting into it, and then I waded through briars in my shorts, to hook up with another, deeper ditch with some water in it, that luckily extended to a soy bean field. And it took three tries to get out of the deeper ditch. The best joke I can come up with for that dilemma is that it sounds like deep ditch apple pie.

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...when the corn is too high...

As high as an elephant's eye?

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This is going to be the sequel The Cow and Her Ass...

kim_kardashian_01.jpg

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This is going to be the sequel . . .

That is the only picture of Kim that I have seen that makes me want to boogy woogy.

Oh, What A Beautiful Morning

There's a bright golden haze on the meadow

There's a bright golden haze on the meadow

The corn is as high as an elephant's eye

And it looks like it's climbing right up to the sky

Oh what a beautiful morning

Oh what a beautiful day

I've got a beautiful feeling

Everything's going my way

All the cattle are standing like statues

All the cattle are standing like statues

They don't turn their heads as they see me ride by

But a little brown mav'rick is winking her eye

Oh what a beautiful morning

Oh what a beautiful day

I've got a beautiful feeling

Everything's going my way

All the sounds of the earth are like music

All the sounds of the earth are like music

The breeze is so busy it don't miss a tree

And an ol' weeping willow is laughing at me

Oh what a beautiful morning

Oh what a beautiful day

I've got a beautiful feeling

Everything's going my way

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Round and prou(n)d of her mound. Kim pushes the definition of what is normal. The women who have horrible facial enhancement are clueless, especially around the eyes and lips. Not to pick on women, I saw Kenny Rogers before his eye tuck, and stomach reducing surgery. I saw his after shot at a concert where we had tickets on the left side rider about ten feet from where he was performing. He looked good. Being so close is fun. He said as an aside to a woman back up singer, Damn, it's hot in here, and once he said oops and passed gas. It was a good show. His Christmas shows are excellent too.

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