Lord Stanley I Presume?


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Congratulations Dennis and Carol when are you eloping and living inside the Stanley Cup?

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Let joy be unconfined.

Ahh, so you and Dennis are going to honeymoon outside of the Stanley Cup - out on the frigid tundra in South Central LA with hoodies and 9's, hangin in da hood!

la37.jpg

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Is that shot from "Friday"?

--Brant

No...but it sure should have been ...ain't too much hockey celebration in the hood!

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Hello…What day is this? Just one more Bloody Mary and I know my eyes will start to focus again. Now what’s this about Carol and I going on a Honeymoon? Tell me more.

That would be worth sobering up for….

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I'll just leave you two (2) lovebirds to sort this out amongst yourselves.

I would suggest switching several Virgin Marys though.

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OK - now I have to give the OFFICIAL NANNY BLOOMBERG STATIST WARNING...

STDs & the Elderly

Age is Not a Condom: Old Sex Does Not Mean Safe Sex

By Elizabeth Boskey, Ph.D., About.com Guide

Updated February 08, 2012

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by our Medical Review Board

Sexually transmitted diseases aren't just a problem of the young. Older people can suffer from them, too. In fact, there are several reasons why older adults may actually be in more danger from STDs than their younger companions, including:

  • Lack of screening for sexual problems can increase the risk of a disease going unnoticed for years, leading to serious complications.
  • After menopause, women's vaginal tissues thin and natural lubrication decreases. This can increase the risk of micro-tears and of sexual transmission of certain diseases such as HIV/AIDS.
  • Older people are less likely to use condoms, both because they don't consider themselves to be at risk of STDs and because they were never educated that condoms should be part of their sex lives.
  • The immune system naturally becomes less effective as people age, which can also increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections.

The Size of the Problem More than 60% of individuals over 60 have sex at least once a month, and yet they are rarely considered to be "at risk" of an STD. Even those who are no longer sexually active may still have a sexually transmitted infection for which they were never treated or screened, and the long term neurological side effects of diseases such as HIV and syphilis may be easily mistaken for other diseases of aging.

It is therefore essential that not only older adults, but the individuals who care for them, be educated about STD risk in the elderly. Older individuals, and their caregivers, need to be taught about safer sex, so that they know how to reduce their risk if, and when, they choose to engage in sexual activity. Sex can be an important part of a person's life, no matter what their age. It's important that everyone learn how to engage in it safely so that it enhances their health rather than damaging it.

HIV: A New Old Problem Recent statistics from the CDC have shown that the number of new HIV infections is actually growing faster in individuals over 50 than in people 40 years and under, and HIV may just be the tip of the iceberg. Numerous factors have contributed to the increase in sexually transmitted diseases in the elderly, and many of them stem from a single problem. Namely, clinicians and scientists don't spend enough time thinking, or talking, about older individuals having sex. Not only are the elderly usually overlooked in many STD studies, but they are frequently less likely to get screened for STDs than their younger counterparts.

Part of the problem, at least, is addressed by the new CDC screening guidelines which, among other things, recommend that health care providers screen all patients between the ages of 13 and 64 for HIV as part of their regular visits. In this age, when divorce rates are up and Viagra and other erectile dysfunction medications are available on line, sex among the elderly may be at an all-time high.

Cervical Cancer Every year, thousands of women in the United States die from cervical cancer. Most of these deaths should never occur. Cervical cancer is largely a preventable disease. Caused by the sexually transmitted virus HPV, regular cervical screening via Pap smear is an effective way to catch early cancerous changes before they can start to cause problems.

One of the many reasons why the incidence of cervical cancer rises so quickly in older women is that many women, once they stop needing birth control pills, stop going to their gynecologist. Although Pap smears can be done by any clinician, many older women are reluctant to seek out the discomfort of a sexual health exam, particularly if they are unmarried, not sexually active, post-menopausal, under-insured, or have a limited income. Older women may also be reluctant to be screened for something that, in its early stages, has no symptoms and for which they perceive themselves to be at little risk.

Screening, however, is essential. It can take a decade or more for an HPV infection to develop into the early stages of cervical cancer. Although screening guidelines vary by organization, in general even older women who are not sexually active should still be considered to be at risk.

If you are a woman, aged 55 or older, it is important to talk to your doctor about how often you need to be screened for cervical cancer. Most women will need to be tested once a year, but certain women who are considered to be at very low risk may be able to reduce their screening requirements to once every two or three years. If you have a woman in your family, a mother or a grandmother, of that age, make certain she knows she needs to be regularly tested. It could save her life.

Cervical Cancer Screening Guidelines

Sources:

Levy, B. et al. (2007) " Older Persons' Exclusion From Sexually Transmitted Disease Risk-Reduction Clinical Trials." Sex Trans Dis 34(8): 541-4.

Leach, CR et al (2007) "The Vicious Cycle of Inadequate Early Detection: A Complementary Study on Barriers to Cervical Cancer Screening Among Middle-Aged and Older Women" Prev Chron Dis 4(4): http://www.cdc.gov/p...oct/06_0189.htm. Accessed 10-1-07.

Lindau ST et al (2007) "A study of sexuality and health among older adults in the United States." N Engl J Med 357(8):762-74.

M-M.G. Wilson (2003) "Sexually transmitted diseases" Clin Geriatr Med 19: 637–655

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You dont remember?

Men!

C'mon now! Was that real???

You enjoyed yourself so much, I figured I must have been dreaming. . .

Nice save , dear.

Now it is time for you to start fulfilment of prenup conditions

ii.(b) - seek out and pay reverence to Stanley Cup at any and all LA locations

ii,© - find name of Beliveau and say prayer or appropriate quote from Ayn Rand at your discretion

ii,(d) - find names of Toronto Maple Leafs and weep bitter tears

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You dont remember?

Men!

C'mon now! Was that real???

You enjoyed yourself so much, I figured I must have been dreaming. . .

Nice save , dear.

Now it is time for you to start fulfilment of prenup conditions

ii.(b) - seek out and pay reverence to Stanley Cup at any and all LA locations

ii,© - find name of Beliveau and say prayer or appropriate quote from Ayn Rand at your discretion

ii,(d) - find names of Toronto Maple Leafs and weep bitter tears

I need to see a copy of this prenup. I suspect my scrawling signature would never hold up in a court of law. I'm not responsible for anything I signed within 12 hours after game six.

As I recall, you said it was the tab for room service.

Naughty, naughty.

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Hello…What day is this? Just one more Bloody Mary and I know my eyes will start to focus again. Now what’s this about Carol and I going on a Honeymoon? Tell me more.

That would be worth sobering up for….

Or vice versa.

--Brant

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Hello…What day is this? Just one more Bloody Mary and I know my eyes will start to focus again. Now what’s this about Carol and I going on a Honeymoon? Tell me more.

That would be worth sobering up for….

Or vice versa.

--Brant

Hello…What day is this? Just one more Bloody Mary and I know my eyes will start to focus again. Now what’s this about Carol and I going on a Honeymoon? Tell me more.

That would be worth sobering up for….

Or vice versa.

--Brant

Sir!I do not partake in vice, only in versa.

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A celebration 45 years in the making. . .

628x471.jpg

The Los Angeles Kings and fans celebrate the team's Stanley Cup win during a parade in Los Angeles, Thursday, June 14, 2012

wonderful! Maybe Sutter even cracked a smile.

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  • 10 months later...

A Canadian and a Californian walk into a New York bar. It is dark, Canadian asks about number of New Yorkers it takes to screw in a litebulb.

New Yorkers reply >...........

Is there any particular emergency room you prefer to be taken too?
And the Canadian answers politely, "I don't know this neighbourhood, do you have a recommendation?"

The Californian moans because his health insurance won't cover it.

Hope somebody likes that one, because after tonight I will never joke again if after nine years and so close we lose again. My spirit will be broken. I will devote myself to serious study. I think physics might be too hard, so I will emulate the Widow Casaubon and try to assist in a work of serious scholarship like the Key to All the Mythologies. I will help Kacy compile his definitive list of excommunicates..

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