Dance, and why you might want to.

[Rich Engle]

I thought I'd share this with the singles in the group here.

I'm a lifelong musician. One thing I have noticed about myself and a great many musicians is that, while they are usually very in touch with rhythm, often perform, etc., the prospect of dancing is the equivalent of kryptonite to them. I was one of these people. I always admired it from a distance (usually on a bandstand, looking over a dance floor). Always loved ballroom dance movies, tango, salsa, all that.

Anyway, I have a relatively new love in my life (I get butterflies just mentioning her). She's a huge fan of Atlas Shrugged, although she knew nothing of Objectivism outside of that- she just lives it.

She happens to be an experienced dancer- ballet, tap, ballroom, and so on. Because of that, I became pretty heavily exposed to the dance community; this wasn't a big reach for me because I have a past that involves a lot of work and socializing with the arts and theater community. But, I started going to events to watch her, etc.

I had always wanted to learn, at least enough so I could look respectable at, say, wedding receptions. I have always refused to go on a dance floor (well, I did it once but it took a number of strong adult beverages). This is odd considering I don't have an ounce of stage fright in me and am constantly in front of audiences doing pretty wild things with the guitar. Go figure, that was my weak point.

One day, she brought up the idea that, since I do appreciate dance a great deal, why not have her show me some things? I'm very comfortable with her, obviously, no self-consciousness at all. So I did. We decided to focus on swing dance, since we both like the music. After a bit of this, it so happened that a swing dance class opened up very close to where I live. It was a basic class (East Coast Jitterbug style), and even though it was rudimentary for her, we took it together- something fun to do as a couple.

Here's the kicker, gentlemen in particular, and I cant emphasize the basic point of this strongly enough:

Because statistically so few men have to stones to dance at all, much less take classes, when you go into these things you will find that they are always deficient in male dance partners. This is critical because typically the man is the lead. The ratio in this class was about five women to each man. I might also point out that on the whole, it seems like people who sign up for dance classes (particularly the major forms like ballroom, swing, etc.) are quite refined, interesting folks. Now, it doesn't matter to me, because I have a partner, but the bottom line is that dance classes are a great place to meet people. Particularly if you're a guy. Benefits of dance aside, it is a tremendous opportunity!

I'll also mention that I thoroughly enjoy it. I might recommend swing dance, because it is pretty strongly networked in most places (all kinds of events going on monthly), and also, the basic swing moves are pretty easy compared to some of the other styles. If you like big band music, jazz, old rock/r&b, this is for you.

As a matter of fact, tonight is my first time out at a swing dance event, and, while I don't have the flashy stuff yet, I am pretty steady and will do fine (of course, I have an experienced partner that makes me look real good even when I lose my groove).

And, it is quite the elegant date to go out to these things- very romantic! You're out with that special someone, you can dress to the nines...you get the picture.

So, to all you singles, and single Objectivist guys in particular, I recommend breaking down the barrier and getting into dance. If you don't like swing, try ballroom, or salsa, or even tango (although the difficulty level there is challenging for newbies).

If you're always bellyaching about not wanting to meet people in bars, or you can't meet people readily, this is the bomb.

rde

Hopefully won't make too much of an ass of himself this evening.

[CNA]

You're so funny, Rich. I'm sure you will do just fine tonight and will have lots of fun dancing with your baby girl !! :D/

Great advice for the guys I think. Wonderful exercise and definitely oh, so much fun, always lots of laughter and lots of smiles, at least it is for me when I've gone dancing either with my husband or friends. Here in my near future, this is something I definitely plan on taking up. I enjoy dancing anyway but have always wanted to get more into it. Oh, it would be a total blast !! But as you've found out, a lot of women do love to dance.

At any rate, I'm sure you'll have a blast tonight with your baby girl !!

Angie

[Barbara Branden]

Rich, I'm delighted that you've found a girl you care about. The more butterflies the merrier!

I agree with you about dancing. It's wonderful fun and a great kind of intimacy. Have you started learning Latin dances? I love swing, but there's nothing quite as sexy as the tango.

Enjoy!

Barbara

[Mikee]

Rich,

I enjoyed your post. Great idea. I don't dance at all, my wife Karen likes to dance sometimes. At the occasional get togethers we go to she dances with her girlfriends! I told her I'd be happy to go out and take dance lessons with her if we could do it together but she's turned me down. Now I know why!

Have fun.

Mike E.

[Kat]

Michael and I have talked about taking up dancing together. We may try salsa. I think it is a great thing for a couple to do together. Dancing can be very romantic or even sexy. hmmmm....I dunno about sharing my guy with 4-5 women desparate for a dance partner. No bumping and grinding please! #-o

Surprisingly, I never learned to dance. My ex-husband was a very good dancer and could do the jitterbug and all kinds of stuff. I used to like to dance at clubs when I was younger. Back in the '80s we just jumped up and down or slammed into each other. Before that, I used to try to do "the bump" with my sister and she used to knock me down all the time with her big fat ass! LOLOLOL

:D/

Kat

[CNA]

Laughing...Kat, I so know that one....being knocked down or more like sprawled out on the dance floor. I'm pretty small framed. Last December at a Xmas party was dancing with a friend and my husband was there also dancing. We all had been drinking. Yes, I probably had too much wine. I was dancing next to a girl that I had known for quite a few years. I always thought she was petite like me. Well, I quickly realized she was a lot more meatier than what I had thought. We started to do "the bump." Well, we did one bump and it was all over with. It literally knocked me about 4 or 5 feet from her sprawled out on the dance floor in a dress and heels and it surprised me but I couldn't stop laughing. That girl had some serious hips on her like you wouldn't believe. She's like, Oh, my God, Angie, I'm so sorry, I guess I'm bigger than I thought. She really wasn't that big but just a lot more meatier so to speak. We were both just cracking up. She helped me up and we started dancing some more and did "the bump" again but this time she was a lot more gentle with me. We all had a total blast that night, so much fun !!

Thank you for sharing your "bump" story. It brought back several of my own "bump" memories....LOL

Angie

[Rich Engle]

Ok, here's a quick debriefing...

Bottom line- I did fine! It certainly is a little intimidating at first, but I figured out pretty quickly that I had great reinforcements- I was there with 4 women, all very good dancers/dance teachers. We all took a one-hour group class, which is good because you can rotate through partners and that helps you get used to leading (or following, if you are female) with different types of people. It's all very friendly.

I was a little tense when things started, but basically I had a fantastic time.

You should definitely explore the various styles. Latin is very popular right now and pretty easy to find. Salsa is pretty tough, though, as far as being in shape. Fact of the matter it all is a great workout.

It's like anything else- practice, practice!

I certainly saw some great dancing- tango, cha-cha, Charlston, even, all kinds of stuff.