Cyber Love is Here to Stay

Victor Pross

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With February soon approaching, Valentine’s day will be on the mind of many lovers. One can anticipate the great boon of online attempts to meet a significant other or else chit-chat, making cyber goon eyes with inspired lovers yet to meet. “Forget the bar scene, blind dates, your sister's matchmaking efforts, and lame office happy hours,” reports one happy female internet user who met the love of her life on line. “There's a whole world of possibilities in cyberspace.”

“Those who are looking for dates have learned to use the internet both as a roadmap for the offline world and as a destination to meet people,” said Mary Madden, Research Specialist at the Pew Internet Project and co-author of the report. One website reports on the stats of internet romance: “Some 31% of American adults say they know someone who has used a dating website and 15% of American adults – about 30 million people – say they know someone who has been in a long-term relationship or married someone he or she met online.”

Of course, there are pros and cons to meeting future lovers on the internet. One of the pros of developing a romance in cyber space is the fact that the limitations of the net itself: it encourages people to have to focus on each other's personalities. In the absence of the physical “real life” interaction, people have to communicate with words to get to know one another. One of the disadvantages is that much of human communication is non-verbal. However, one online romance states that many Internet romances do successfully turn into conventional relationships. Those couples also advantage of already knowing each other well as they have learned to communicate well together. Another one of the cons is that the cyber person you are interacting with may not be giving an honest account of him/her self - a risk that is not, of course, absent when meeting people the “conventional way”. Anyway, who really wants to meet someone at a singles bar? Men and women lie all the time.

Having met my significant other here at OL cyber land, I can testify to the tremendous benefits to be derived from cyber romance. I am convinced that I have truly met the love of my life and I have never been surer of this romance.

Here are a few tips for those who may wish to give internet relationships a try:

[A] Ask straight forward questions in learning about the other person—questions you may feel shy to ask if face-to-face. Learn about that person and keep track of significant conversations. This is beneficial for two reasons: A, you can keep track of important facts about that person in the quest to understand them. Allow red flags to be alerted if there are apparent contradictions of a person's history and other facts as one reveals more of themselves.

Exchange a bevy of photos with each other—try to get a real sense of the physical reality of the other person.

[C] At some point, it is important to have phone conversations with each other. Again, it helps to get a better idea of the other human being.

[D] Have fun. Just because this is not the conventional way of meeting someone does not mean you are interviewing your potential lover. Be funny, charming and engaging. The love dance remains the same as it has always been. Having fun and allowing your feelings to unfold: that’s how you learn about someone else, and how you best reveal who you are to someone else.

This is not an inclusive list, but it is a good start. Good luck. :thumbsup:


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