Good joke on me

[Wolf DeVoon]

I've taken a lot of stick, ridiculed for being a foppish con artist, so let's look at some text. Finding Flopsie is two stories -- his and hers, presented sequentially and covering the same action adventure soap opera, seen separately by Chris and Peachy. A few words of set-up, please, because Flopsie is the 4th volume of their saga as a married couple.

Chris Cable is a far better man than I am. He was a Marine Corps officer, Silver Star and Purple Heart, resigned his commission, changed his name, and relocated to Southern California. He tried working in law enforcement and hated it, hung out his shingle as a private eye, age 32. Let's catch up with him at age 64, when Finding Flopsie opens on the campus of UCLA.

The second half (the "better half") of Flopsie is told from his wife's POV. What a woman! -- thick red gold mane with wisps of gray, movie star pretty, Stanford Ph.D. brilliant, a CPA and licensed p.i., and passionately devoted to her husband. Semi-retired at age 62, Mary Blount Cable does tax accounting for Hollywood producers. Here's the first page of The Way Peachy Saw It, second half of Finding Flopsie.

I don't give a flying fig whether anyone likes it or not. I'm not quite as stupid as people like to assume. I've read Hemingway, Irving, and Steinbeck, disgusting dreck, as far as I'm concerned. Whether you agree or not is unimportant. I've invested 20 years in developing an authorial voice of my own, and have no regret, no matter what it cost. Open two thousand novels at random, any page. Anything written in the last few years will have dope addicts, antiheroes, and paranormal heebeegeebees in drag, howling at Jupiter's moons. A straight white couple who cleave to each other? -- oh, that's Wolf Buffoon -- no book sales, no agent, and no publisher. Penalized and shunned because he writes hot sex scenes, mocks LGBTQ as inferior and inert. Signature work, never confused with any other novelist past or present, incapable of happy humble marketing because it just doesn't matter any more.

Now you can claim that you read two pages of Wolf DeVoon, dismissed it as trash.

 

[Jonathan]

22 hours ago, Wolf DeVoon said:

" amateur-trash, sappy soap opera, bodice ripper, penny dreadful "

Thanks. I'll use that. https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/16439912-this-takes-the-cake-and-squashes-it

Here's what it says at the link:

This takes the cake and squashes it

An anonymous troll at Objectivist Living declared that I'm "amateur-trash, sappy soap opera, bodice ripper, penny dreadful," without reading a single word of my fiction. Nice. Sums up the whole predicament, 20 years of writing, the last three devoted to definitive masterwork, zero book sales.

 

That's a lie. I did not say that you are those things. I said only that your choice of pen name is those things. I didn't say that your 20 years of writing were summed up by those descriptions, but only your ridiculous choice of pseudonym and your con man bluffing promotional style.

 

Signed,

Blade McMasters

[Jonathan]

On 2/23/2018 at 6:06 PM, Brant Gaede said:

No, you were not making fun.

--Brant

Heh. Um, no, I was making fun. What did you think that I was doing?

[Jonathan]

3 hours ago, Wolf DeVoon said:

I've taken a lot of stick, ridiculed for being a foppish con artist, so let's look at some text. Finding Flopsie is two stories -- his and hers, presented sequentially and covering the same action adventure soap opera, seen separately by Chris and Peachy. A few words of set-up, please, because Flopsie is the 4th volume of their saga as a married couple.

Chris Cable is a far better man than I am. He was a Marine Corps officer, Silver Star and Purple Heart, resigned his commission, changed his name, and relocated to Southern California. He tried working in law enforcement and hated it, hung out his shingle as a private eye, age 32. Let's catch up with him at age 64, when Finding Flopsie opens on the campus of UCLA.

The second half (the "better half") of Flopsie is told from his wife's POV. What a woman! -- thick red gold mane with wisps of gray, movie star pretty, Stanford Ph.D. brilliant, a CPA and licensed p.i., and passionately devoted to her husband. Semi-retired at age 62, Mary Blount Cable does tax accounting for Hollywood producers. Here's the first page of The Way Peachy Saw It, second half of Finding Flopsie.

I don't give a flying fig whether anyone likes it or not. I'm not quite as stupid as people like to assume. I've read Hemingway, Irving, and Steinbeck, disgusting dreck, as far as I'm concerned. Whether you agree or not is unimportant. I've invested 20 years in developing an authorial voice of my own, and have no regret, no matter what it cost. Open two thousand novels at random, any page. Anything written in the last few years will have dope addicts, antiheroes, and paranormal heebeegeebees in drag, howling at Jupiter's moons. A straight white couple who cleave to each other? -- oh, that's Wolf Buffoon -- no book sales, no agent, and no publisher. Penalized and shunned because he writes hot sex scenes, mocks LGBTQ as inferior and inert. Signature work, never confused with any other novelist past or present, incapable of happy humble marketing because it just doesn't matter any more.

Now you can claim that you read two pages of Wolf DeVoon, dismissed it as trash.

 

You're inventing attacks that haven't happened in reality. I criticized your stupid choice of pseudonym, and also your con man promotional style (your history of online self promotional sock puppetry and that sort of thing).

And I wouldn't call you "Wolf Buffoon." When you're being a douchebag, I prefer "Pup Baboon." On the occasions that you act like an honest, genuine human being, I've begun to prefer calling you Alan, since he's the real human being the "Wolf" clown mask.

Signed,

Blade McMasters

[Brant Gaede]

12 hours ago, Jonathan said:

Heh. Um, no, I was making fun. What did you think that I was doing?

Going for the jugular.

--Brant

[Jonathan]

1 hour ago, Brant Gaede said:

Going for the jugular.

--Brant

Well, you clearly weren't following along. After all, you somehow had the mistaken impression that I was attacking the idea of pen names. Pup was even worse. He took me to be attacking his work, even though I've been clear to say that I wasn't, and that I was only laughing at his style of promotion and pseudonym choice. But then again, he's enjoying finding ways to be perceived as a poor little victim.

Signed,

Blade "Lion's Paw 'Horsepower' Laser" McMasters

[Brant Gaede]

On ‎2‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 9:28 AM, Jonathan said:

Well, you clearly weren't following along. After all, you somehow had the mistaken impression that I was attacking the idea of pen names. Pup was even worse. He took me to be attacking his work, even though I've been clear to say that I wasn't, and that I was only laughing at his style of promotion and pseudonym choice. But then again, he's enjoying finding ways to be perceived as a poor little victim.

Signed,

Blade "Lion's Paw 'Horsepower' Laser" McMasters

If you're making a cake you end up with a cake. If you're making fun you end up with something funny. Hopefully.

Going for the jugular is your "signature style." I actually like it. But you're a literalist in the same sense Ba'al is a materialist: it's intellectual reductionism. I object to it with him, not you, for he doesn't stay down on the farm but pretends he does.

--Brant

[Peter]

On ‎2‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 11:28 AM, Jonathan said:

Well, you clearly weren't following along. After all, you somehow had the mistaken impression that I was attacking the idea of pen names. Pup was even worse. He took me to be attacking his work, even though I've been clear to say that I wasn't, and that I was only laughing at his style of promotion and pseudonym choice. But then again, he's enjoying finding ways to be perceived as a poor little victim.

Signed,

Blade "Lion's Paw 'Horsepower' Laser" McMasters

Blade "Lion's Paw 'Horsepower' Laser" McMasters? I like that character on "Game of Thrones."

[Jonathan]

On 2/26/2018 at 9:06 PM, Brant Gaede said:

If you're making a cake you end up with a cake.

I've been using Rand's recipe here for years.