Landon Erp Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 This is my "Shooting script" for the first issue of Frontier War---Manipulation.I say shooting script because once I start the art phase I usually do a lot of rewrites. I move scenes around. I cut dialogue. I add dialogue. And sometimes new story events occur organicly based on a background image etc.The basic point I have is, the final product will probably have some differences from the version you're reading here. But this is the last version of the script I'm going to do.I don't want to over-explain it so I'm going to cut myself off at this point. I hope anyone who reads this can see what I meant when I said I don't take a traditional approach to super-hero stories. And any feedback would be appreciated---Landon(Actions noted in italics)xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxFrontier War: ManipulationIssue #1Family CurseScriptBy Landon ErpxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxPAGE 1Establishing shot of a funeral Ann's family is attendingIt is Ann’s mother Allison's sister/Ann's and Alicia's aunt Ellen There is a 3 to 1 female to male ratio at the funeral and all related eventsEveryone's head is bowedThough most of the immediate family is thinking about something Other than what you usually think of when you're at a funeralThe father John Brenner, A strong man with a bit of a beer gut and a deeply receding hairline, is holding his wife and being there for her at a tough timeThe mother Allison, a woman with auburn hair and a face of a woman twice her age, is experiencing a strange mixture of pain and mind numbing fearTheir two children fraternal twin sisters are there as wellAlicia, a slender young woman with bright red hair, looks bored in the background, she is twirling her gumAnn is standing in the forefront pensivelyPreacher: Ye though I walk through the Valley of the shadow of death, I shall not....Ann: [narration] "I'm at a my aunt Ellen's funeral." "I'm glad her misery's over." "The tumor rendered her insane, after a while she just slipped into senility, then she finally just slipped away." "The undertaker did a good job matching pictures of her in the years when she REALLY alive." "I only saw pictures"***************PAGE 2Ann:[narration]"Mom's family has a strange history" "as far back as we can trace, no one she directly descended from had a male child" "Two things run in this all female family, Mental illness and brain cancer" "Everyone calls it the 'Family Curse' " "It's the only thing on every woman's mind" "It's like I can tell the thoughts in each of their heads," "Am I next?" "Maybe that's part of the secret too" "when we were younger I think me and my sister came close to understanding." "That was a lifetime ago, Apathetic as usual, now I'm surprised she even showed up"Alicia shoots Ann a mean stare Ann:[narration] "She'll never admit it but, we gave up a lot when we ended those years of discovery"Ann has a look of sad frustration on her facethe family gets into the car together to go to the post-funeral meeting placeJohn stays by Allison's sideAnn enters the house lastAlicia makes little attempt to enter but goes off to smoke with cousins***************PAGE 3Ann is walking through the living room at her housepassing by people carrying on conversationsThere are dozens of people there, lots of aunts and female cousinsEveryone is back at the Brenner’s house for the wakeIt’s a mildly big house a few big rooms but there are still places to hide from everyone if you chooseAllison:[to Angelica] So what did the doctor say about... your condition.Angelica: He still can't figure out what's causing the headaches, or the hallucinations... I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO FUNCTION! I don't want to die like Michelle and Ellen or locked up like Jennifer. Allison:[hugging her sister] Me either sis.Ann:[narration] I'm not hiding, I should be, but I'm not. No, it's expected for me to be here but it's too painful for me to talk to anyone. It's not grief I was never that close to Aunt Ellen anyway, it's the survivors... it's not grief. it's fear. they're hiding something. we all know part of it but no one knows all of it, except maybe Grandpa Anderson.Grandpa Anderson:[mumbling to everyone and no one from his wheelchair] She could do such amazing things your grandma Anastasia, but that cost her so very much. I just wanted to protect you girls... and look what I've done to you... I even know how to stop it... for the young the one's I haven't poisoned... If only anyone still believed me.Ann:[bending down to meet her great- grandpa's eyes says flatly] I believe you.Grandpa Anderson:[gravely] That's what I was afraid of.Allison: GRANDPA!!! Honestly could you stop, you'll scare you're great grand-daughtersAnn walks offAnn[narration]: I DO believe him. His wife was Anastasia Anderson an orphan with no knowledge of who her parents were, from all the stories I heard she was a strong woman that escaped a tyrannical home and kept nothing but her first name. She was my namesake. He seemed afraid to talk about her and he spread that fear around. After she died he apparently became very protective of his 2 daughters... always told them to play it safe, don't take chances, back down at the first sign of trouble. so when the curse came, they didn't know how to fight it. And worse, they couldn't teach their daughters how to.Ann finally heads outside***************PAGE 4 Ann sees Alicia leaning against a wall alone smokingAlicia: I'm ready to jet, do you plan on staying.Ann: And where are you expecting to go?!Alicia: My church youth group is having a meeting tonight I'm about to tell mom about it.Ann: Your cult?Alicia: GOD it's not a cult! You'd know that if...Ann: Save it I'm desperate, I'll regret it but let's go.Alicia: Ok then we get changed and I'll tell mom.they go to their rooms ***************PAGE 5Ann changes in her roomAnn is scrawny, but any weight on her body is fat she is by no means in good shapeWhen she gets out she's dressed casually loose t-shirt and jeansAnn is coming down stairs to leave out the back Runs into JohnAnn: Hi Dad, did Alicia tell you where we were going.John: Does Alicia ever tell me anything. Where you going?Ann:[rolls eyes] To her youth group.John: Be careful, they give me the creeps.Ann: Then why do you let her associate with them?John: You're both grown women, you make your own decisions. Besides they've helped get Alicia on track, she might even be going back to college soon. Your mom is insistent on me leaving her alone about it. But I don't want to see you get caught up in that stuff.Ann: Relax dad, it's easier to dodge brainwashing when you can admit that's what it is.Alicia, in the background, hears the last little bit and isn't pleased***************PAGE 6The two girls walk silently to Alicia's carthey sit downAlicia:[thinks] I didn't like what you had to say about my church group in thereAnn:[thinks back] What church group?! You and I both know this "Alarm" thing's only similarity to a real religion is the insane level of devotion it asks of youAlicia:[Thinks] If you'd just give this a chance, who knows you might make new friends, it might change your life...Ann gets out her copy of "Choke"Ann:[thinks] I don't need YOUR kind of friends, and secondly if it was really this great thing you're always trying to say it is you wouldn't always be blocking stuff about it from me.Alicia:[says aloud]Ann, could you pleeease grow up? This whole "mind reading" and "special powers" thing was cute when we were eight, but you seriously need to get you're life on track... Alarm can help.Ann:[frustrated beyond belief] Whatever. It still doesn't matter. You're hiding something from me about this group.Alicia: I'd love to continue this lovely little discussion but we're here.The house is hidden behind a wooded areaIt is a large, mildly modernistic log cabinIt has the obvious look of a leisure houseThey walk to the door together in silenceThey are greeted by John Morningstar, head of the world renowned self help organization AlarmMorningstar is an older man (age indeterminate) with some wrinkles and long gray hairHe is much too buff for a man his ageHe looks more like a pimp than a spiritual leader In a smoking jacket, slippers, and pajama pantsMorningstar:[courteously] Hello! And welcome to my center for spiritual awakening. I'm James Morningstar.Ann:[narrates] And pay no attention to the man behind the cheap cologne and the cheesy bathrobe.Alicia shoots Ann a mean stareAnn: Uh hi. [choking back laughter]Morningstar: You must be Alicia's sister who we've all heard so much about. You know, you're sister's always talking about how amazing you are.Ann:[staring confrontationally at Alicia] At some point I must learn what this greatness she speaks of is.Morningstar:[caught off guard]Oh, of course. Come right in make yourself at home here.Ann:[narrates] I hope he doesn't mean that literally***************PAGE 7Alicia sees her boyfriend on the insideHe is a sensitive looking young man with modestly long brown hairHe is wearing a turtleneck and dress slacks, he looks mildly uncomfortable in themHe’s not used to dressing upHe looks a little scared and confusedThis disappears as he sees the girl he wants to marryAlicia: ROBBY!Robby: Hey babe! he grabs her and lifts her into a big hug and kissRobby: Look who finally showed up!Ann: Hey Robby. Are we gonna pretend we actually have something to talk about? Or can we mercifully end the conversation now?Robby: I just don't get you! You are nothing like your sister!Ann:[fake astonishment] My god that's the greatest compliment anyone's ever given me.Alicia: Look, we have some urgent business to attend to. Can I trust you to just mingle and not cause any trouble.Ann:[her expression has gone sour] I'll just soak it in and keep to myself. Alicia: Good, just whatever you do... just don't.Ann walks around the crowded room for a little bitThere are lots of young men and women dressed casually participating in conversations, games and spiritual activities,… there are also many young couples playfully embracingEveryone in the room is whiteA young plumpish girl with mousy brown hair who has a couple strange growths on her neckShe wears a sundress that looks like it was made with very cheap material by someone who didn’t care very much about the person for whom it was intendedShe looks too young to be here, far too sick as wellShe is serving drinksLittle Lisa: Hi miss, would you like a drink?Ann: Uh, are they..... safe?Lisa:[looks down sullenly] I know what you mean. They're safe.***************PAGE 8Ann: Ok I'll take a Pepsi then... but aren't you a little young to be working here? To be HERE at all.Lisa: I'd be in class right now. Father says I'm not special enough.Ann: You look really special to me.Lisa: Thank you miss.Ann: No it's cool you can call me Ann.Lisa: Thank you Miss Ann.Ann: Not what I meant but an improvement. I'm curious do you all call each other brother or sister in this group?Lisa: No, many of us are Morningstar's children. I'm the only one who isn't special.Ann: Doesn't that kind of make you more special?Lisa cracks a sweet little smile. But just for a moment.Morningstar: LISA!!! Get back to work and leave this guest alone!Lisa: Sorry father I--IAnn: Its ok we were talking and...Morningstar: I'm sorry miss Brenner. You leave her alone for a minute and you never know what she'll do. On a lighter note we're starting empowerment circle shortly. I hope you'll join us.Ann: That's ok. I'll try to drop in on it. But for now could you direct me to the bathroom?***************PAGE 9Ann walks down a dark hall, she sees a shadowed figure smoking a cigaretteHe is completely siilouetted, all that can be seen is the light of his cigaretteAnn: Awful lonely back here?Skarr: I like it that way. Besides, I'm "Morningstar's" other dirty little secret.Ann: Funny, you sound too old to be his kid.Skarr:[rough chuckle] Wrong on both counts girlie. I'm just one of the suckers who bought his bullshit long ago... more importantly the least presentable to outsiders. Besides if you let the young'uns see me, Morningstar would have less of a chance of gettin into their panties... I don't think that's a possibility in your case though .Ann: Good observation. Wouldn't even be here if Alicia didn't drag me...Skarr:[notices something... lets out a little chuckle] So you're Ann huh? [another little laugh then he gets dead serious] Run.Ann: What the hell are you talking about?!Skarr:[measured intensity whisper]YOU THINK THIS IS JUST SOME CULT?! You have no idea. Imagine a street gang that thinks it's ready to openly take over a Major western power, but it's really just running drugs, guns and prostitution, and taking too big a cut of it's own product. Now imagine that same gang disguised as a spiritual movement with a billion times the firepower,... Destructive force to take over anything it tried to. But not a damn idea what to do when it gets there. But determined just the same.Ann:[noticeable fear] What are you saying?Skarr: I think you know. You also probably know about animals. You see we humans see a problem and we need to solve it, there's a lot of ways we can go about it. Any one of them will work just as well as any other. But you see animals have only two choices, fight or flight. You stand your ground and give everything you got to take something down, if you're able. Or you run like hell and escape if you're not. Right now, you're not strong enough to fight this battle... Run and hide until you are. ***************PAGE 10Skarr proceeds to open a backdoor for Ann he does so the light hits himHe is wearing what appears to be an Alarm “uniform”It looks somewhat like a gymnast’s outfit with a large stylized “A” across the torsoIt looks very abused, lots of burns and tearsOver it he is wearing a trench coat, a pair of black jeans and Combat boots He doesn’t respect the uniform in the slightestLight also hits his face for the first timeHis face looks something akin to overcooked steak the burns are so badhe proceeds to causally wipe his hand across his faceThe path his hand took across his face left all the skin he touched in pristine shapea small patch of hair has even started growinghe did this in front of Ann’s very eyes as he holds the doorAnn stands in unflinching terrorSkarr: I swear you're as dumb as my brother... GO!Ann runs past him out the hidden back doortakes a back path out back to the road proceeds to walk home***************PAGE 11 Alicia drives up next to Ann matching the speed at which she walksAlicia: Had enough? I don't think I need to tell you how much you embarrassed me or how generous this offer is.Ann: I've already walked three miles. I can handle the last two just fine ON MY OWN!Alicia: Suit yourself.Alicia drives off Ann continues walkingAnn:[narration] I had a long time to think about everything that night. More than I wanted. I'd tell her the stuff this group is into if I didn't think she was already in on it. Who am I kidding she's been a lost cause for years. All I can do now is keep her from dragging me down with her.Ann is walking to her front door***************PAGE 12John is waiting in the kitchen, he's stripped down to his dress pants, socks and a wife-beaterhe looks overjoyed and relieved as Ann walks through the doorJohn: ANNIE!He gives his daughter a big hug, he was scared and he’s just glad she’s homeAnn: Sorry I'm so late, why do you seem so surprised to see me?John: I wasn't sure what to think after what Alicia told meAnn: Whatever it was, it doesn't matter I'm fine.Flashback sequence involving Ann and Alicia playing as childrenThey apparently spent a lot of time on make believeSpending entire afternoons just creating amazing creatures with their mindsEverything in their world was as fluid as their imaginationsAnn:[narration] She wasn't always like this, we used to have so much in common… Not surprising being twins and all even if we are just fraternal twins. Something changed in her, ever since she met Robby and joined that "Church Group." She disowned almost everything we had in common. Little did I know that in just a few years I'd be looking back on 14 to 16 as the good old days of our relationship. ***************PAGE 13Ann is back with her Dad back to realityAnn:[Narration] But I've accepted that it's overJohn:[fighting back emotion] I'm sorry Annie, I just want to be able to help you.Ann: I know dad, it's been a tough day I'm just going to get some reading in and go to bed. I love you dad.John: Love you too Annie. Get some rest.***************PAGE 14 Ann enters her room to sit down and readIt is a medium sized roomThere are two beds in this room, one for each girlAlicia’s doesn’t look like it’s been slept in for a whileAnn:[narration] This was the main thing my father gave to me. He was reading constantly. He helped me expand my mind more than I may have ever done before. No, that's a lie. I probably would've developed like this no matter what. But he made sure I was always comfortable with it. Comfortable in my own skin, and on a search for truth.Ann sits alone in her room readingA look of fear passes her face she knows what happens if she thinks too deeply and is alone too longA small group of demonic monsters start circling her threateningly…they appear seemingly out of nowhereAnn:[narration] This is what Alicia gave me. She managed to turn a lot of people against me… I didn't always mind the solitude. I had my reading. I could wander and explore with my mind. Now it wanders bad places… scary places***************PAGE 15One of Ann's demons sets a fire in Alicia’s bedAnn is paralyzed with fear after too long she finally gets the strength to screamAnn:[narration]Bad things happen…Ann:[softly]dad?.. Dad!?…DAD!!? FIRE!!!…John comes bursting through the door with a fire extinguisherHe rushes forward and puts out the fire the demons dematerialized right before John enteredJohn initially gets very angryAnn is cryingJohn cries tooHe holds his daughter in consolation***************PAGE 16Allison, John and Alicia are having a tense conversationJohn is the most tense, he looks like he's about to jump out of his seat and destroy something/anythingAllison looks like she's about to fall apart in every sense of the word, she's slouching in her chair avoiding eye-contact with everyone and trying not to volunteer too much information, what she does volunteer is usually gibberishAlicia is sitting comfortably in her chair like a master manipulator whose plan is going far better than she ever expectedJohn: I just don't know anymore, she was fine just a few minutes before and then… then… this…Alicia: I told you two a long time ago, she's disturbed, and the girl sincerely needs help.Allison: ALICIA, HOW COULD YOU THAT'S… YOUR SISTER?Alicia: Yes, it is my sister. That's why I want to see her go into intense therapy as quickly as possible.Allison: No… no… there's nothing wrong with her. If we just ignore it and leave her be this will all get better, it'll blow over she'll stop talking about…Alicia: She's sick. She needs help. You've heard her stories. The girl's clearly insane.John: I admit she needs help but I don't think your kind is what she needs!!!Alicia: Dad, I know a great therapist. I can get her in as soon as tomorrowJohn: HOW CAN I TRUST YOU?! NOTHING THIS BAD EVER HAPPENED BEFORE YOU TOOK HER TO YOUR DAMN "CHURCH GROUP," CULT, WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS?Ann has been eavesdropping the whole time, she slowly walks into her family’s viewAnn: Stop… look, maybe she's right. I don't understand what you get from that group, but nothing like what just happened ever happened to you. If you know someone who can help, maybe I should see them. I might regret this but I just want to be normal again.John:[softening up to Ann] Annie, are you sure about this? You don't have to do this. We can find another solution.Ann: I'm sure dad. Alicia could you help set me up with your doctor.Alicia: Yeah, her name's Amy Smith…I think she can help you a lot, I'll call her first thing in the morning.Ann hugs everyone***************PAGE 17Ann gets out of the car and walks up a long path into a woodsy out of the way houseIt looks somewhat like Morningstar’s but more modestShe is then greeted by a slightly older woman (mid to late 20's) Who can only be described as gaunt, Her hair is White-blonde her eyes are the palest blue her skin is the lightest white you could imagine and she is very thin, Ann could break her in two even as out of shape as she is at this point in the story she is cold but courteous as she approaches AnnAnn:[narration] I shouldn't listen to her. But she's right. We played the same games as children… she never did something like what happened last night, I'm putting myself and my family in danger, I have to do something.Amy: Miss Brenner, welcome.Ann: Hi you must be Dr. Smith.Amy: That I am… come on in, and we can get started.Ann: So is this what a normal clinic looks likeAmy: I try to keep a rather progressive set up here. Anyway, lets step into my officeDoor shuts***************PAGE 18The office is very homey and comfortableAnn is in the office looking a little shakenAmy: Thank you miss Brenner that was very informative, would you like to send the rest of your family in?Ann: Ok. [narration] I am more confused when I went in, I can only hope that it's the foundation of something betterThe family comes inJohn: So what do you think about Annie?Amy: From what I can tell your daughter will eventually be ok. I have some drug samples available that may be of great help to her. And I'd like to set up a treatment program with herJohn: Ok if that what you think is best.John takes the drugsJohn: Thank you. Amy and Alicia share a glance on the way outAlicia:[thinks] So what do you think?Amy:[thinks] I think she's ripe. those drugs should give you the final set up that you need.Alicia leads Ann into the car behind the rest of the family***************PAGE 19Sitting in the living roomThe family has a roundtable discussion about the drugs sitting on the coffee tableJohn: Now Annie, you know you don't have to do this if you don't want to.Ann: No, it's ok. I think this will help. I think I'll just take my first dose and get some sleep.John:[alone to Ann] I just want us to be able to go back to being a normal, happy family.Ann: Dad I hate to say it but I think it's a lost cause.Ann takes the pills and walks into her roomAllison: John, all this has been way too much for me, I still have a few days off work can you take me to spend them at Angelica's? I'm so tired John.John: I kind of want to stay with Annie tonight, but it's just an hour's drive each way. If you really need to I can do it. Alicia, can I trust you at home alone with Annie?Alicia: Sure dad… don't worry we'll be fine, you just take care of mom.Alicia plays the waiting gameShe looks out the window for Robby***************PAGE 20Robby enters the house in a very thuggish Alarm JacketIt’s official but obviously not as sought after as an actual uniformIn a very military fashion he walks up to Alicia, they share a giant kiss when they finally breakRobby: You sure you wanna go through with this?Alicia: Baby, we tried the easy route, this is the only way she'll crack. Besides, you know what it will mean to you, to us to bring me AND my sister into the fold for Morningstar.Robby: Yeah you don't have to remind me, but... do you really think we can pull it off.Alicia: We've been going over the plan all week, it will work.***************PAGE 21Ann is dreaming she's seeing frightening versions of her parents, Morningstar and Skarr telling her things in the dream world there is nothing but smoke and desolation, Ann is bound and gaggedDream John: They think you're crazy.Dream Allison: They may even be right.Dream Skarr: You could've been one of us you know, that was our plan but you had to go and ruin it.Dream Morningstar: A new day is dawning dear sister, and you need to awaken to the nature of this world you live inAlicia: You see there are only two types of people in this world, I know what I am, which kind are you.Victim or victimizer... but knowing that is not what's important right now***************PAGE 22Ann is still asleep but getting shocked awakeAlicia:[telepathy] What IS important now is that you wake up!Ann shoots up out of bedShe is coughing heavily because smoke is entering the room very quicklyShe breaks a window, rolls out of it and escapes onto the groundcrawls to the next-door neighbors, claws at doorbellwhen someone finally shows up Ann:[screaming at the volume of a whisper] Help!Ann points to the fire and passes out***************PAGE 23John is returning home after the night outhe sees all the commotion, gets out of the car and rushes toward the first person who looks in chargeAnn is sitting up getting treated with oxygenJohn: This is my house what happened?!Firefighter: It's too soon to say.John: Where are my daughters, I left them here alone...Firefighter: We're treating the one that escaped the blaze, the other...John: No no no no...John sees the stretcher carrying Alicia's charred body from the wreckage of the Brenner home John is struggling to keep his very sanity as he speaks the next sentences to AnnJohn: Ann, please don't make this any harder for me than it already is... It's my fault, I thought you didn't need the help. That's the idea I acted on and one of my children is dead because of it. Your doctor had some brochures for some good facilities in her lobby. She even volunteers some of her time at one of them. I think it will be for the best. If we can salvage anything from this I'll send some of your clothes and books after you're there.Ann:[choking back tears] Ok dad.***************PAGE 24Ann is staring out the window of the car she's driving, she is carrying a small package in her lapAnn:[narration] Hasn't even been a week since the last family funeral and I'm already missing another one. Dad salvaged a few outfits and books. The tests came back. They said that whatever caused the fire in my room the day before also caused the fatal one. Kind of a formality really. The arrangements were already in the process for me to go into psychiatric care... I'm going to this hospital so that I can continue my treatment with Dr. Smith.***************PAGE 25Ann is walking with her package up the steps into the hospital It is large and very imposing, very official lookingAnn:[narration] I'm sick and desperately need treated. That's what everyone says, and I'm beginning to finally think they're right. They can't all be wrongenters doorthere is a large corridorAnn:[narration] Can they?***************PAGE 26Ann is inside the hospital admitting area, a few established Alarm members are working as guards, Alicia's boyfriend Robby is an orderly walking by a "Scarred" man is covering his eyes in frustration as he walks outIntercom: ...And as we bask in the light which leads us into the rebirth of the new day, we grow stronger and prepare to shrug off the burdens of those who've held us chained through all the centuries. In the name of the almighty sun, Amen.Admitting nurse: Name?Ann: Annastasia Marie Brenner.nurse buzzes her in pointsNurse: Follow him***************PAGE 27 A bulky orderly (not Robby) leads Ann on the "walk of shame"Ann:[narration] I've failed, worse than I ever thought possible. I've hurt people, people who for better or worse I loved. I'll do whatever it takes to get better no matter how long it takes or how much it drains me***************PAGE 28Ann enters a common area where a number of patients are restingRaven, A tall woman in fantastic shape with a slightly “gothic” feel to her look She is wearing a tight black tank top and a pair of caprisShe looks very mean, intense and confrontationalThe look on her face towards Ann is best be described as "god damn they're going to eat her alive" Phillip, is a fierce looking young man with a strong approachability and friendliness to his looks He is wearing a red t-shirt with a little one-liner on it, sweat pants and a loose bathrobeHe has kind and understated smile for Ann as she walks through the doorTanya, a young woman dressed in a nightgown and heavy coatHer features are unimposing for the most partShe has a weak chin, and a birdlike nose, her hair is thin and scraggly She is kind of hiding behind a piece of furniture she is very scaredJoshua, is an albino with what appears to be a bad rash, with strong cracks and flaking skin in addition to hair that seems to be capable only of standing on end, He is scared as well, but there's a hint of a caged beast's rage in his manner Ann:[narration] For better or worse, this is the beginning of the next chapter of my life.***************End Issue 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Landon,I am halfway through and it is looking good. You have a real talent for the still picture/text dynamic. Also, your characters seem real.For a general reading script, may I suggest putting a cast of characters at the beginning?I will have a comment or two, but I want to finish first.Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Landon Erp Posted February 5, 2006 Author Share Posted February 5, 2006 Fair enough.As for the cast I used to do that when I wrote scripts for screen but this was basically for my eyes only, I even had to change a lot of the action captions from something like "set-up plot point x here" to something more vague and descriptive.Thanks for your comments thus far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Landon Erp Posted February 5, 2006 Author Share Posted February 5, 2006 But fair enough:The Brenner family:AnnAliciaAllison (M)John (F)Angelica (aunt)Ellen (aunt deceased)Alarm movement:Jim Morningstar (Spiritual leader)SkarrRobby (Alicia's boyfriend)Lisa (Morningstar's daughter)Dr. Amy Smith (psychiatrist associated with the group) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Great job, Landon.The characters are developing and the story is coming along nicely. I'd like to see how it takes shape visually. I'm also wondering about the name of the guy Morningstar and why the group is called Alarm. His name and the groups name seem like opposites, when they really shouldn't be. The one other thing that could possibly confuse the reader is Allison and Alicia are very similar names. Just a little constructive criticism... for the most part it looks really good. What do you think of running a daily strip on OL?Kat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Landon Erp Posted February 7, 2006 Author Share Posted February 7, 2006 I do short character sketches (small stories that take place outside the main ones featring the smaller characters) on my myspace blog. Daily might be kind of rough (I have roughly one page of art half finished as I write this).As to Alicia and Allison... I went through several A names before I came up with Ann. I thought it might be kind of interesting if John and Allison made a deal that all the girls would have A names and all the boys they had would have J names. And if John knew what I know he wouldn't have taken that deal.So thats how I wound up with Allison Brenner giving birth to Ann and Alicia Benner.As to Alarm/Morningstar. I took the name Morningstar from names like Manson (Man Son) Do (with his counterpart Ti). The man is equating himself with the sun it's kind of typical cult behavior. And Alarm is supposed to be representative of a reaction causing a force that brings change. And when it comes down to it everyone in Alarm has a big forceful name like that... Didn't Amy Smith seem like a pretty common sounding name. It's also kind of based on an idea that got adopted in X-Men, but comes from Malcom X and the nation of islam. The idea that your name was chosen by a culture you don't truly belong to so it isn't valid and the only valid name you can have is through the force of change.All in all thanks for taking the time to comment and I hope that clears some things up.---Landon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Landon Erp Posted February 7, 2006 Author Share Posted February 7, 2006 Another thing I forgot is don't worry, you don't see allison again til she's on her deathbed... no idea when I'm doing that story but I know that much.---Landon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Haggerty Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 Hey, Landon, just a note 'case you didn't know: the latin word for morning star is "lucifer." Literally, lucifer means, "light-bringer" or "dawn-bringer." In addition to being considered a synonym for "Satan," the term lucifer has variously refered to Venus, the Sun and, and somewhat obscurely, Jesus Christ. I suspect a lot of your readers will assume you intended to name your cult leader after the Devil--I know I did! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Landon Erp Posted February 8, 2006 Author Share Posted February 8, 2006 Now that is one happy coincidence.Thanks for tipping me off to it.---Landon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now