A bawdy limerick

[9thdoctor]

There was a young chaplain from King’s,

Who discoursed about God and such things:

But his deepest desire

Was a boy in the choir

With a bottom like jelly on springs.

Stephen Fry, from The Ode Less Travelled

[Selene]

Good one...back at you! lol

There was a young lady who begat...

Three kids, named Nat, Pat and Tat...

It was fun in the breeding,

but hell in the feeding...

for she found there was no tit for tat.

[9thdoctor]

I bow before a master of one-upmanship.

There was an old man of Brienz,

The length of whose cock was immense

With one swerve he could plug

A boy’s bottom in Zug

And a kitchen-maid’s cunt in Koblenz.

Norman Douglas

[Selene]

9th:

I may have the filthiest limerick that I have ever heard. I will send it to you through your e-mail. If you wish.

It was told to me by one of the smartest civil engineers that I met in city government. Not only did he score virtually perfect scores in the

civil service tests to get to where he was, but he also, calmly ran a beautifully efficient and profitable bookmaking operation right in the Department's engineering department.

I am not a "gambler", I enjoy making selective bets on both politics and certain sports. He told this one to me.

Adam

Edited October 16, 2009 by Selene

[Dragonfly]

That last one is not a good limerick as it doesn't rhyme: it's not Koblenz but Koblenz. And of course Zug and plug don't rhyme either.

[9thdoctor]

That last one is not a good limerick as it doesn't rhyme: it's not Koblenz but Koblenz. And of course Zug and plug don't rhyme either.

You're entitled to a full refund. The author was a Brit born in Austria. Who knows how he pronounced the names of German towns. Take it easy, crack open a beer.

[Xray]

That last one is not a good limerick as it doesn't rhyme: it's not Koblenz but Koblenz. And of course Zug and plug don't rhyme either.

You're entitled to a full refund. The author was a Brit born in Austria. Who knows how he pronounced the names of German towns.

Zug (not a German town btw) is pronounced with a long [u:], so when one reads the limerick with the correct proncunciations, its subcellar form perfectly match for its subcellar content.

Ninth Doctor: Take it easy, crack open a beer.

That lousy limerick makes one think it was the author himself who had a few too many before producing it.

Edited October 17, 2009 by Xray

[Xray]

Too late to edit, so here is the # 7 post with the typos corrected. ("When commenting on "lousy form", I'd better make sure my own post is typoless (which is quite a challenge for a sloppy typer like me ))

That last one is not a good limerick as it doesn't rhyme: it's not Koblenz but Koblenz. And of course Zug and plug don't rhyme either.

You're entitled to a full refund. The author was a Brit born in Austria. Who knows how he pronounced the names of German towns.

Zug (not a German town btw) is pronounced with a long [u:], so when one reads the limerick with the correct proncunciations, its subcellar form perfectly matches its subcellar content.

Ninth Doctor: Take it easy, crack open a beer.

That lousy limerick makes one think it was the author himself who had a few too many before producing it.

Edited October 17, 2009 by Xray

[9thdoctor]

Zug is a German speaking town in NE Switzerland. About as close to Munich as Geneva, as the crow flies. The limerick comes from Norman Douglas’s book Some Limericks, a famous volume, though decidedly not high brow stuff. One must consider alternate pronunciations of words based on the author’s context, otherwise good luck getting through Ulysses. This thread was a Friday night contribution, with inspiration from Charlie and Sam (that is, Mingus and Adams); Oddly no one’s complained yet that it crossed the line into the obscene, or that it has nothing to do with Rand. Valid criticisms. I’d just posted my comment on Dan Edge (on another thread), and thought about the accusations that OL is a den of pedo-whatevers (apologists etc.). I then thought of the Stephen Fry limerick, and again consulting Charlie and Sam, said let’s give them something to talk about.

Now getting back to the bawdy limericks, here’s the classic:

There was a young man of Nantucket

Whose prick was so long he could suck it

He said, with a grin

As he wiped off his chin:

‘If my ear were a cunt, I could fuck it.’

[Selene]

There was a young hermit named Dave...

who kept a dead whore in a cave...

I have to admit...

I'm a bit of a shit,...

but look at the money I save!

[9thdoctor]

Looks like this thread’s wound down, as gracefully as could be hoped for, still here’s one more for the road:

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

Into space that is quite economical.

But the good ones I’ve seen

So seldom are clean

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.