Weird ethical breaches and homophobic crap in 2 big fast food franchises

[Rich Engle]

Dateline: Florida, being innundated by the same ads on the SciFi Channel and junk.

I was going to write two separate pieces about these jackasses, but for one, they don't deserve that much of my valuable finger-time, and secondly, they are both dogfood purveyor chains (albeit not the worst ones, for sure), so I could just combine them in the name of food commentary; this works for me because I am lazy and it makes sense to kill two with one.

First off, KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken). I know everything about these bastards because my family is from the South, and I am fifty. Enough said. I don't follow corporate crap like I used to for a living, but I didn't have to--just watch TV, per usual. I had no idea that they had some Brit for a CEO (I forget his name who cares).

OK, seen worse but in this case, well...questions arise as they always have when one stalwartly follows franchises.

My first thought was that, in the South, the title "Colonel" means something other than military; it was bestowed, blah blah.

And new ownership means change, right? By then, being a genetically-bred hillwhack raised up North, I had not liked their chicken for some time. In fact, there were a number of incidents involving getting the scoots, for both me and the rest of whatever staff for which I was working.

I was in the 'hood, and trying to distinguish the subtle aesthetic differences between Popeye's, and Church's. It was either that or rely on the local Negroes, who were also trying to figure it out. Mostly, their attempts were better.

Then I see this ad campaign where they add "grilled chicken," replete with snappy grill marks. OOOOH!~you can get chicken without breading. Fine.

THEN (and this was a time-targeted marketing strike), in the middle of a fucking depression, they offer you one piece of this, gratis.

~sigh~... I know places that are whitebread-looking where, within, there are the poor. And, I know of one particular KFC location that is so foul, that we nearly died from eating it, and we went after them corporate style. And that's not even the one on the East Side of Cleveland.

So, surely, I wasn't going to stand in line for my free piece-o-chikken. I'm free from that need. But I understand.

I started thinking about this thing franchise-wide. There had to be other places. Oh, a free-for-all!

Then, what is it, "Ken?" their CEO comes on with an ad and apologizes, left-handedly, that they can no longer provide this, but it is coming soon. Yay, the grilled chikken is coming! Sometime... His happy, uplifting response? He proceeds to say that, well, in effect, America answered! It was a blowout! THEY LOVE THE CHICKEN!

That is the oldest marketing hustle in the world and they should have their souls cast into the void.

Moving on...Quizno's.

This one is different. When I compare/contrast it to yonder above, I find only one word: desperation.

Have you seen the "Toasty Torpedo" ads?

First off, that's a porno name, OK? If you don't detect phallic there, you aren't breathing.

These ads are supported by production. Listen to the soundtrack; it is bad porn music.

Apparently, Scott, the unwitting sub-maker, is under some form of posession from a belt-toaster-oven, which speaks to him. The homoerotic overtones are off the hook. Get it? Oven? Toasty Torpedo? And then a smoking gun: the oven says "Put it in me, Scott."

WTF?

So Scott is in a dominant relationship with an oven...I'm lost here.

Anyway, it looks like a pretty good sandwich, for four bucks. Ciabatta bread, yay... But it is all ruined for me now because of this thing, and I'm not even a homophobe; I'm just weirded out. I don't want those freaks to have my four bucks.

rde

Remembers why he cooks so much, shoulda put this in the restaurant section.

[BaalChatzaf]

I find KFC dark meat combo (legs and thighs), original crust quite tasty. Only one caveat. It is rather fattening so it should be indulged in infrequently.

Next to KFC, I like the dark meat chicken (rotisseire cooked) from -Boston Market, Inc-. It is tasty and well cooked. Not to worry about food poisoning.

Ba'al Chatzaf

[Roger Bissell]

I find KFC dark meat combo (legs and thighs), original crust quite tasty. Only one caveat. It is rather fattening so it should be indulged in infrequently.

Next to KFC, I like the dark meat chicken (rotisseire cooked) from -Boston Market, Inc-. It is tasty and well cooked. Not to worry about food poisoning.

Ba'al Chatzaf

Hmmm, sounds like whatever else we may disagree on, we are on the same page about this! :hug:

However (or also?), I have tried the KFC grilled chicken and find it clearly less tasty than that from El Pollo Loco, which I like very much.

Also, when I want chicken with a little kick to it, I indulge in Popeye's or Bojangles, preferably the former.

One of life's little pleasures!

REB