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You have talent. I feel this small piece is a part of a larger story. It is not complete in itself. You do get in the head of the protagonist well and the reader can empathize with him easily.

Here is a quibble. You wrote: "In a heartbeat, they were seen racing back towards the hospital."

If the road was abandoned, who saw them?


That's OK, though. I got the impression you were running out of steam in order to finish—the exchange between the woman's attacker and the doctor needs to be fleshed out more—frankly you need more raw action here, or at least develop the confrontation in more detail. It is a moment of great tension and uncertainty. Glossing it over quickly is wasting an opportunity to engage the emotions of the reader.

I liked what I read. Write more and write often. You are one who can.


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