F L Light Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 (edited) It has been more than a year since I last posted at OL. These couplets might reconcile youth with experience.The Young OutsidersaThe young outsiders hate the old inside,Profaning their proprietary guide.bThe old insiders are Misesian,Not needing from the state an outer plan. aThe young outsiders hate the old inside,With outer arrogance unqualified. bThe old insiders are Misesian,Who need no centralizing guardian. aThe young outsiders hate the old insideAnd recompensive concord cannot bide. bThe old insiders libertarian are,Unlike the youth who need a commissar. aThe young outsiders hate the old inside,Having external ignorance unbeautified. bThe old insiders libertarian areAnd with despotic adolescence jar. aThe young outsiders hate the old inside,Not learning how good will is ratified.bThe old insiders are Objectivists,Exactly to encounter what exists. Edited October 7, 2007 by F L Light Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 FL,Thank you for that.I have a personal preference in poetry for avoiding grammatical inversions in order to find easier rhymes, but in this poem, with the hypnotic repetition and play on old/young and inside[r]/outside[r], it did not stand out as much. It kinda worked (although I still prefer no inversion at all unless there is a specific thematic reason and not rhyme). To give an unasked-for suggestion, in your shoes, this hypnotic repetition is an addition to your technique I would consider continuing and developing.I like this poem.Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F L Light Posted October 9, 2007 Author Share Posted October 9, 2007 (edited) Michael,Antiphonal couplets is what I call this style of repetition. Tibetan Buddhists use something like this form:"After the purification ceremony in the chapel is concluded, the outsideceremony continues. The lamas, followed by men and women, move in acircular dance while reciting prayers. A bonfire is built, and groups ofmen and women continue to chant the mani hymns. Groups of men and womenexchange songs of sadness (tser-glu) in antiphonal couplets (Desjarlais,1991). These exchanges of songs of sadness continue until dawn." Tibetan Buddhism and the resolution of grief by Robert GossThere are shadows of this style in the stichomuthia sections of Greek tragedy. There is hardly a line in Greek tragedy without inversion or transposition, I do not believe in the deconstruction of poetry, which would allow nothing poetically unusual or unprosaic. Deconstruction is the ultimate pedestrian end of art. Let transposition set the potencyOf neurons to revise philosophy. I have already composed a number of manuscripts of antiphonal couplets.How is it that I have yet to receive an intelligent reply, like yours, at Solop? F L The Eleutherian Laureate Edited October 12, 2007 by F L Light Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now