I become a convert to conspiratorialism


Bidinotto

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Remember when I wrote that screed against conspiratorialists?

First, here.

Then later, here?

Okay. I admit it.

I was CONNED.

I was TAKEN IN by sinister agents of the U.S. government.

And now, I recant my anti-conspiratorialism.

What caused this astonishing about-face?

INCONTROVERTIBLE EVIDENCE OF THE CONSPIRACY!!!

That's what. It begins with a single incident in the early 1900s. But once the PATTERN is established, you can see EXACTLY that it leads right to 9/11.

So, where is the proof of the existence of the conspiracy?

It exists within easy reach. YouTube videos. Documents. Charts. Graphs.

Right here online, where anyone can see it for himself.

Just do yourself a favor before passing judgment. READ THE WHOLE THING. CHECK OUT ALL THE VIDEOS AND DOCUMENTS.

And ONLY THEN, return here to deny these facts.

If you dare!

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Chris,

Thanks so much! Hey, as Objectivists, we have to submit to EMPIRICAL REALITY, right?

And the online experiment is scientifically duplicable. Or duplicatable. Whatever. I put ice cubes in a bowl, and a half-dozen spoons in another, and THE SPOONS DIDN'T MELT. ONLY THE ICE DID.

I mean, that PROVES SOMETHING ABOUT THE RELATIVE STRENGTH AND DURABILITY OF ICE AND STEEL, RIGHT?

So the "iceberg theory" about the sinking of the Titanic can now be safely dismissed.

And that leaves ONLY: sabotage.

And just who would have had the RESOURCES to sink the biggest ship in the world?

Only Uncle Sam, that's who.

Okay. Yes, maybe space aliens. Sure, they might have had the motive, the means, and the opportunity. And I'm not ENTIRELY ruling that OUT, mind you, but I don't think it's all that likely. I mean, if it had been space aliens, you would've thought that James Cameron would have captured the whole thing on film. But no.

So, there it is.

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Mea culpa! I did it. I helped sink the Titanic. Now that you've demonstrated the PATTERN to the world, I can no longer deny it.

Damn those two babies! I TOLD the others not to let them survive. Can I be blamed just because I didn't do EVERYTHING myself? I couldn't help it!

Tee hee! You're not as smart as you think you are, Robert Muhammed Bidinotto. You still have no idea who killed Kennedy!

ANONYMOUS

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You know, I always suspected that the Titanic sank because Ayn Rand's Remington-Rand typewriter fell overboard and got caught up in the propeller blades, causing a breach to the integrity of the ship's hull. (I mean, one good anachronism deserves another, right? :-)

REB

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Maddox proved the Jews sank The Titanic? And Barbara finally owned up?

Dayaamm! The plot thickens.

Hey! Wasn't Ayn Rand Jewish?

Hmmmm...

One hell of a shot. That's for sure.

There is more here than meets the eye. Maybe John Galt is really Joesph Goldstein, one of the original Elders of Zion ("JG," get it?) and Atlas Shrugged is part of the Jewish world domination plot. Why remove people from their industries if you can get them to walk off the job so the Jews can take over?

I wonder what the ship was carrying that Rand, Barbara and the Jews feared so much they had to sink it. Maybe Nathaniel Branden's grandfather...

I'm getting to the bottom of this. Tomorrow I am going to draw up a formal proposal to hire James Valliant to write a damning indictment of what's really behind all this. I am even going to let him publish Rand's marginalia on The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, with some nonessential editing for clarity and complete explanations. I even have a working title for him: The Passion of Ayn Rand's Titanic Sinkers.

Robert, maybe you can run installments in The New Individualist to atone for your sin of trying to take the piracy out of conspiracy.

Michael

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Michael,

I've tried to take the "cons" out of "conspiracy," too.

Without the cons and the piracy, we don't have much left, now, do we?

Bob

If you (and Michael) don't stop this I'm gonna lose it. :hyper:

Steve

p.s. Congrats on your reward. :)

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I think I found what was really on the Titanic.

If you make an anagram out of "Ayn Rand" and "Titanic," you get the following:

Tiny Narc In Data

I can't go into it any further. I am already risking my life by saying that much (and I dare not show the real Jewish connection), but that certainly explains it. No wonder Rand had to blow the ship out of the water.

Michael

EDIT: Oh God! I think I hear them coming...

SECOND EDIT: I moved this thread to "Humor." Maybe they won't find us over here...

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Michael: "There is more here than meets the eye. Maybe John Galt is really Joesph Goldstein, one of the original Elders of Zion ("JG," get it?) and Atlas Shrugged is part of the Jewish world domination plot. Why remove people from their industries if you can get them to walk off the job so the Jews can take over?"

How did you know? We've kept it hidden all these years! Ayn said no one must ever know! She said it in the same conversation in which she said a writer must never use exclamation marks, because it's a cheap form of creating emphasis! So much for deathless secrets!

Tomorrow the world!

Barbara

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Barbara Branden sank the Titanic?

Well, they've blamed you for everything else.

The only things they forgot to blame me for was being the mastermimd behind ben Laden and sinking the Titanic. So I thought I'd help out. Of course, there was also the fact that SOMEONE had to tell Oswald where Kennedy would be that day...

Barbara

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Of course, there was also the fact that SOMEONE had to tell Oswald where Kennedy would be that day...

Barbara

But Oswald was in Mexico City with ME that day. We were planning the next memorial of the loss of the Titanic. It had that humongous shipment of Hellman's Mayonaise on board, bound for Mexico when it sank. Such a great loss to the Mexicans, it's why they memorialize Sinko da Mayo.

:homestar: Welcome to the S.S. Homestarrunner-dot-com. I'm your captain, Homestar Runner...

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ALL RIGHT, MICHAEL. WHY THE HELL DID YOU MOVE THIS NEWS STORY TO "HUMOR"?

As many people have said in the past, it's clear that you do not take ideas SERIOUSLY.

Consider yourself REPUDIATED, you epistemological savage. Or moral barbarian.

Whatever.

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Of course, there was also the fact that SOMEONE had to tell Oswald where Kennedy would be that day...

Barbara

But Oswald was in Mexico City with ME that day. We were planning the next memorial of the loss of the Titanic. It had that humongous shipment of Hellman's Mayonaise on board, bound for Mexico when it sank. Such a great loss to the Mexicans, it's why they memorialize Sinko da Mayo

Steve, you should be ashamed! Your are hereby permanently excommunicated (don't ask me from what; I have no idea). I know an irredeemably evil punster when I see one. Besides, you're probably an Arab.

Barbara

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I think that this photo explains a lot:

1478793774_301f18ca27.jpg

It was taken with a special camera and polarizing filters which eliminate optical illusions. Clearly the Galt's Gulch camouflage method described in Atlas Shrugged was a real invention of Rand's, and she was forced by the Brandens to use it to make it look like Kennedy was riding through Dealey Plaza in a car rather than on the Titanic. Obviously the Brandens had hypnotized Rand and ordered her to shoot Kennedy and sink the Titanic at the same time (while setting up Oswald as a patsy). Of course, the assassination/sinking also involved time travel and other things that Rand had invented and which the Brandens forced her to use against her will. It just makes me sick.

J

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I think that this photo explains a lot:

1478793774_301f18ca27.jpg

It was taken with a special camera and polarizing filters which eliminate optical illusions. Clearly the Galt's Gulch camouflage method described in Atlas Shrugged was a real invention of Rand's, and she was forced by the Brandens to use it to make it look like Kennedy was riding through Dealey Plaza in a car rather than on the Titanic. Obviously the Brandens had hypnotized Rand and ordered her to shoot Kennedy and sink the Titanic at the same time (while setting up Oswald as a patsy). Of course, the assassination/sinking also involved time travel and other things that Rand had invented and which the Brandens forced her to use against her will. It just makes me sick.

J

Hey, this photo is a fake! How do I know? The Titanic is much too small as rendered here.

You have to get up very early in the morning to fool me! However, I agree the Brandens used time travel to exploit AR. They used Roark metal without Roark! If you get the tree I'll get the rope!

--Brant

Edited by Brant Gaede
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Jonathan: "Obviously the Brandens had hypnotized Rand and ordered her to shoot Kennedy and sink the Titanic at the same time (while setting up Oswald as a patsy). Of course, the assassination/sinking also involved time travel and other things that Rand had invented and which the Brandens forced her to use against her will. It just makes me sick".

Brant: "If you get the tree I'll get the rope!"

Now, for the first time, I feel fully at home on OL. This is life as I understand it.

Barbara

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