atlashead Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 I live in a tension unbearable pain because I want to create and there's so many things I want to do but oddly what I want to feel most is jealousy a clean battle where I've lost the only way to kill the pain is to work but I feel like I'm not ready yet that I'm learning the responsibility of creating I'll know when this is passed I feel like I'm a masochist because I love my work that's why I'm not doing it I want to be broken My particular God is John Galt I want to be broken by John Galt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 I dare you say that to Ayn, Phil Donahue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atlashead Posted May 12, 2019 Author Share Posted May 12, 2019 how i wish i could, she'd break me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 If I petted my cat Calico too much she would give me a love bite. The vet said I was over stimulating her. Here is some stimulation for astronauts so, don’t bite anybody. Ralph EMERSON wrote: "Go, speed the stars of Thought On to their shining goals; The sower scatters broad his seed, The wheat thou strew'st be souls." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 I've tried to resist... But the goddam setup is too perfect. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 I wish she would stay "broke." She should definitely take up tobacco products, the largest dose of aspirin available and live in an old asbestos shed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atlashead Posted May 14, 2019 Author Share Posted May 14, 2019 it's the same thing for me is tobacco I hate smoking it but I feel like I'm making myself a stronger person if I succeed so the projects are architecture and a physics startup so really I I love the work so much it's the best work in the world the physics I do work on the architecture no the architecture is better than the physics but they're not actual buildings there for a competition I have so many designs I want to work on all of them like I Wish I Never Had To Die maybe that's the thing maybe I believe that I'm going to die soon and so I can't pick one because I can't determine what the best thing is Maybe deep down I hate myself and I want to torture myself I also really love making music but I finished my education and my life was so f****** hard before this for everything to be perfect maybe I just don't want to lose it idk, who is John Galt? The thing is when I stay away from making it I have different experiences and since yesterday I didn't work on architecture we started a physics startup so that's actually more profitable is this instinct is this intuition telling me that the world has a surprise waiting for me that I just have to be strong do nothing resist doing what I want to do that the world has a gift? I guess I answered my own question because objectivists don't give or receive gifts i need 2 stop the motor of (my) world i'm just searching but no answer I have found the answer read Howard Roark pt.1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 6 hours ago, atlashead said: I have found the answer read Howard Roark pt.1 A, Correct. Stop trying to break and shut down motors. Start building. That's the answer. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atlashead Posted May 15, 2019 Author Share Posted May 15, 2019 the other half is covered in AS pt2 chap 6: Rearden's flashback but to have her know it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 Points to ponder. Actress Meg Ryan said: "Everyone is so happy on social media. It’s depressing." What is “The tax which all distinction must pay,” according to Emerson? Envy. Mack: So there I was riding my horse with giraffes on both sides and a lion right on my heels! Jack: Oh my! What did you do? Mack: Hung on for dear life until the merry-go-round stopped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 59 minutes ago, atlashead said: the other half... A, What other half? I've only seen you post cryptic things without punctuation while implying you are among the chosen. Do you want credit for being a producer without showing anything you have produced? I know the posture feels good. How about the reality? Earn it. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atlashead Posted May 15, 2019 Author Share Posted May 15, 2019 I'm really not trying to start an argument but look at the world there's nowhere left to explore there's no territory to use and look at these simple tools that we have a particle accelerator is a simple tool yet that's the best we have the materials we have to engineer with are so slim in comparison to what an Unchained world could have the only thing offered to me is history biographies these don't inspire me I'm a human being with values I want to flex the one muscle that matters my mind but the only struggle that I can find is like exercise I want to find a task that someone says is impossible that I even think is impossible and set out to accomplish it i want to be a savage looking at an intergalactic species Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 18 minutes ago, atlashead said: I'm really not trying to start an argument but look at the world there's nowhere left to explore there's no territory to use... A, I'm glad you don't want to argue because an argument is not an achievement. But it's a hell of a great excuse to not expend efforts at achieving. As to territory, the lack thereof did not stop Trump. I'm serious. His buildings and real estate projects are magnificent. They are all over the world. Trump left his mark in one place after another all around planet earth. At those iconic points, he changed the planet into his own image and name. He made the planet better. My unsolicited advice is to stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop making excuses, and get next to someone like that and learn everything you can from him. Or his assistants. Or whoever around him will talk to you. Ask him how he solved the territory problem. Rand won't tell you (she'll tell you many good things, just not that), but he sure will. Then do the friggin' work. If he can do it, you can. One of the most precious words I ever learned is "transmute." It means turning one substance into another (like lead into gold). An idea is an abstraction. Having great ideas is a great start, but ideas are worthless if you do not transmute them into concrete things and actions. A building does not exist by itself in reality. A building is a transmuted idea at root. The idea--an abstraction--is where it came from. Without that idea, it could not exist. Transmuting takes practice. It's hard. But it's, oh, so worth it. Michael 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atlashead Posted May 15, 2019 Author Share Posted May 15, 2019 thanks. i was just born @ the wrong time. i wish i was born a million years from now where it is a leap of faith, or destiny to learn it all & then be a creator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 Just now, atlashead said: i was just born @ the wrong time. With all due respect, bullshit. The reality is you were born at the exact right time to be here now. I get you that the world is awful at times and people are a mess. But if you wallow in defeatism because of them, who won? You? Hell no. Snap out of that shit. You have a world to win. Or feel sorry for yourself and leave it to them. Your choice and your life. You won't get another so you can change your mind after it's gone. If you don't value yourself, nobody else will except those who pity you. Michael 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atlashead Posted May 15, 2019 Author Share Posted May 15, 2019 the sad truth is i already won the world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules Troy Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 Go and build a streamlined working and expandable Thorium molten salt reactor. Make it look pretty as well just to satisfy that inner architect in you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 5 hours ago, atlashead said: the sad truth... Sad life? One that is someone else's fault? If only they would get out of your way... But, alas, you are doomed to constant punishment for virtues lesser souls can't even dream about as you rant, "The bastards! The bastards! The bastards!" in impotent solitude... (How am I doing so far? I can do this with my hands tied behind my back because I've been there. Never produced a goddam thing when I was in that state. Heroism is not only fighting others, it's fighting your own self-destructive urges that are seasoned with self-pity and a growing taste for laziness--and actually producing something. That's not psychobabble. Suicide is a dangerous idea to cultivate. It eventually transmutes on its own from idea to reality. It starts with a shrug...) Reality is wonderful, even with idiots in it. Brush them aside and build. Besides, how can you win a world you haven't produced? What have you actually won by pretending? A feeling? You can't lose what you don't have. Most of all, stop looking down at others. Paraphrasing Nietzsche, when you look into the abyss, the abyss looks back into your soul. You become what you gaze upon. Michael 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaalChatzaf Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 On 5/12/2019 at 12:24 PM, atlashead said: I live in a tension unbearable pain because I want to create and there's so many things I want to do but oddly what I want to feel most is jealousy a clean battle where I've lost the only way to kill the pain is to work but I feel like I'm not ready yet that I'm learning the responsibility of creating I'll know when this is passed I feel like I'm a masochist because I love my work that's why I'm not doing it I want to be broken My particular God is John Galt I want to be broken by John Galt R U Serious? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atlashead Posted May 16, 2019 Author Share Posted May 16, 2019 embracing selfdestruction I need to thank you guys you've been very patient with me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 4 hours ago, atlashead said: I need to thank you guys you've been very patient with me A, You matter. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Stuart Kelly Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 A, Let me add something. Go forth, jump headlong into a project you love and rip-righteously fuck it up beyond repair. It's OK if you shoot for the stars and land in a belly-flop. That's the only way you will learn to do it right. And that's the only way you will learn to brush off people getting really pissed at you and get back to producing. (And pissed at you they will get if you fuck it up as badly as I have done in my younger past. ) If you already knew how to do something, you wouldn't need to learn it. Nobody automatically bursts forth with massive competence like Athena fully armed from Zeus's head. The default starting human state in any endeavor is incompetence. Competence is earned, not bequeathed or brought into being by reciting Rand. The best way to learn anything (with a few exceptions) is give something your best shot and fuck it up. Then get back up and give it another best shot. And another. And another. And another. And keep doing it until you hate yourself for being so slow and so stupid and for hurting so much. Then keep doing it some more. Finally skill will emerge. It will have to. You've got good ideas in your head, so the main thing--the only thing--right now is to put your hands on something real. Stone, pen and paper, steering wheels, sledge hammers, dirt, doors, tape and string, even animals if relevant--anything and everything in your project you can physically touch. Mess with all of it until you can work well with it, then mess with it some more until you are brilliant with it. Build things. Then look at them. Point to them. Love them. Then you will see what a beautiful world we live in. btw - Get a mentor if you don't have one. Not an Objectivist mentor, but one from your field. Even Howard Roark had Henry Cameron. Judge your mentor when you choose him. Choose wisely to your best judgment. Then suspend judgment for a couple of years or so and just soak up everything he says and do everything he says in the way he says. Ask "why" if confused, but in this period, never ask your mentor "why" just to bicker. The time will soon come when you will go on your way. Then you will be able to follow any other path you choose, ask any why, challenge any idea you learned. And you will build. Do it right and a good mentor will save you decades of grief and heartache. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf DeVoon Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 On 5/17/2019 at 1:38 AM, Michael Stuart Kelly said: It's OK if you shoot for the stars and land in a belly-flop. Agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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