The Talking Dog

[eprime75]

A man goes to a house in response to an ad about a talking dog. When he asks the dog's owner abour the dog, the dog replies, "I'm right over here".

"Wow, You really do talk." said the man. "Tell me about yourself"

"Well", answered the dog, "I started out working for US Customs. My keen nose prevented a lot of illegal drugs from comming into the country. Then, I had a stint in Hollywood where I was in a movie as Lassie's stunt double".

"Then, when the terrorists struck at the World Trade Center, I answered the call of my country and joined the K-9 Corps, eventually serving in Iraq. In fact, I was the dog who sniffed Saddam Hussein out of his hiding place"!

"That's amazing", said the man, "How much do you want for him?"

"Just 10 bucks". Replied the owner

"What! Only 10 bucks for this wonderful animal!?"

"Oh", Replied the owner, "Believe me, he's not so wonderful He's a bullshit artist. He never did any of those things.

[Roger Bissell]

Here's one of my favorites:

This guy walks into a night club with his dog, and he tells the manager he has a dog who talks, sings, does standup comedy, you name it, he's a wonderful entertainer.

The manager tells him to get lost, no way can the dog be smart enough to do all those things, let alone even talk. And the guy says, "Oh, yeah? I'll prove to you how smart he is. I'll give him a $20 bill and have him go across the street and buy a newspaper, and he'll bring it back in mis mouth, along with the correct change, and the newspaper won't even be damp."

The club manager tells him, "You're on. I've got to see this." So, the guy hands the dog the $20 bill, which the dog takes gingerly between his teeth, and he pads out the door. Ten minutes go by, then 20, finally a half hour and no sign of the dog.

The guy gets worried, so he and the manager go outside and see the dog across the street mounted on a female dog and really going at it with her. The guy is outraged, and he runs across the street and shouts at his dog, "How can you do a thing like this? You've never let me down like this before!" And the dog replies, "I've never had $20 before!"

REB